We walked back to the parking lot with not 5, not 10, but 18 whole teddy bears and mini chocolate bars.

I remember carrying the ginormous bag of these fluffy toys and my dad was joking around and said, "You can only have one of these teddy bears okay? you can't have too many girlfriends." I laughed, brushed what he said off my shoulders and replied, "I want one teddy bear for myself anyways. I don't really have anyone to give one to." 

That moment got me thinking. My sister, my father and my grandmother all had people to give some toys to and I was the only one keeping a bear to myself. Even if I was the most confident and happiest I've ever been physically and emotionally, A part of me always felt like something inside of me was missing.

On the car ride back home, I was just scrolling through my socials, instagram more specifically. I saw this girl who followed me a few days ago post a pretty funny, out of the blue story. It was a stupid 'would you rather?' question that did not even make sense, but yet I had a good laugh just by reading it. 

I replied to it. I don't often message people so randomly, so this was all new to me somehow. She instantly saw my message, and nothing felt awkward at all. She replied with another unhinged message that got to the point that I had to cover my face from laughing in the car just so that my parents wouldn't call me out. I looked out the car window casually pretending as if I didn't just almost die from holding my laughter in. 

We texted for the entirety of my ride back home and honestly, I enjoyed every second of it. We introduced ourselves to one another, "My name is Milo, what about yours?", "Ria. My name is Ria." Just like that, I made a new friend, but something about this one felt really different. I can't seem to point it out yet but hearing that name feels familiar. It was almost as if I always knew her name lifetimes ago.

For some reason we just couldn't stop talking. I reached home but we still kept texting, and today I was actually planning to release a new poem related to a song from Radiohead. I decided to share it to her to see if it was good enough, and to my surprise she enjoys both Radiohead and poetry. A part of me wasn't surprised because even if it was just a day of texting, we already had so much in common. 

Later on that day, I just finished eating dinner downstairs with my family, and she texted me once again. I was really happy because it's been a while since I enjoyed talking to someone without feeling so drained and having to push myself. We just got along so well and I was so grateful that I met a new friend when I least expected it. 

Our conversations were just full of dad jokes and spamming emojis to the point that it didn't even make sense anymore. We laughed all night, and suddenly it was already 3 in the morning. I remembered every second of that night. I was in bed, lights fully out in my bedroom, the AC softly blowing in the background onto the curtains and my phone was just shining onto my face. 

For once, I wasn't staring at the roof thinking if my life would stay in a repetitive cycle of waking up, going to class, and just going home right after to eat and sleep. Finally, for once, I was laughing so genuinely and not having a care on what's next for me. This was all so sudden, to get along so easily with someone online. Well, even if it was online, our conversations felt like we were next to each other not caring about our surroundings.

Going to bed with the biggest smile on my face is something I didn't expect i'd feel in a while. I will always be so curious how things can always change and flip around at a blink of an eye. We said goodnight to each other and I couldn't stop thinking about everything we talked about today. We just met but somehow we were talking as if we've always known each other. 

I'm excited to see where this friendship goes. Maybe, just maybe this is the beginning of something new.