My eyes slowly close as I dozed off. My breath and heartbeat were slowing down as my sleep deepens. 

For a moment, everything was just pure darkness. I was drifting in the void of black skies and dark grey mist, until, suddenly, the world around me was warping into a completely different mindscape.

Out of nowhere, I see myself walking down an empty subway station in the middle of the night. The lights of the station made everything around me look brown and orange, those very shades covering each surface around me, as if I was living in a monochromatic world. The subway floor was moist, like a storm just passed by. I was wearing a baggy leather coat, holding a bouquet of red velvet tulips wrapped with baby blue wrapping paper in my right hand. I was walking slowly and my phone suddenly vibrates, and I recieved a message from Ria.

I looked at my phone for a quick second but I heard a distant sniffle and it caught me off guard. I then looked straight ahead of me right after. I saw her. She was wearing a dress that matched the exact same color of the tulips. She had long, black, and flowery stockings with high boots. She sat alone on the only bench along the entire subway platform, quietly crying. 

I spaced out, not because I didn't know what to do, but because I suddenly felt my heart ache seeing her break down. I was confused, because I never saw her in person, but my mind reflected her so perfectly as if I knew every single detail of her, even the little ones, like her little mole down her right cheek. I somehow felt faintly nervous. I didn't know what this nervousness meant, so I didn't think much about it.

I walked towards her slowly, the rain started picking up again and the half roof above, barely protecting us. 

I softly asked, "Ria? is everything okay?" 

She shot to her feet and immediately hugged me so tightly, like she'd been waiting for it. 

I stood there for a moment, frozen, feeling her warm arms locked around me like she was holding onto something that's on it's last thread, like if she lets go, she might fall apart again.

Her whole body was trembling. I could feel her heavy heart piercing through my chest and her tears spreading on my shoulder. Her quiet sobs intensified as she held me even tighter.

I didn't say anything. I allowed her to release all those heavy tears out, because even if we're friends for a few days now, I learnt how much she'd value a person listening to her more than anything. So, I just held her.

After minutes of us holding each other, she eventually whispered, barely loud enough to hear,

I went quiet for a second. Seeing her like this, did something to me. I didn't just see her pain. I felt it too, and I hated how familiar it was. I did the only thing that felt right at that moment, I stayed.

"You don't have to explain," I whispered, brushing her hair back behind her ear. I allowed her to sit and made her feel that it was completely okay to show this side of her. To make her feel that I'm not always expecting her joyful, and bubbly personality to always come out when we talk. 

"Will you promise me one thing Milo?" she asked, wih her voice trembling.

"No matter what happens in the future, can you promise me you'll stay?"

I looked at her brown watery eyes. "I promise. I promise I'll stay no matter what. I'm not going anywhere," I said without hesitation, "I'm already here, Ria. I don't think I could ever leave, even if I tried."

I smiled at her. She smiled back, quickly brushing her tears off her cheek and looking up at the rain. 

We looked around our surroundings for a bit, as it was still raining. The subway was humming the whole time in the background, so distant, but in that moment, it felt like the world had shrunk down to just the two of us.

I looked at her one more time and realised she was still looking at me. Her soft stare was different. I can't seem to point out on how it's so different, but it was really different. 

She looked at the tulips, and back into my eyes, "Milo, I..." 

A sudden, strong gush of wind pushed me off the bench as she was saying something so passionately. I went through the floor and the entire dreamy world shattered like a glass of red wine. I tried reaching for her hand that was rapidly fading away from all the darkness coming back, but it was too late. I was back, drifting at the void of nothingness.

My alarm went off, and I woke up. My lungs were burning, and everything felt so loud. My room was flooded with the cold morning light, that I could barely open my eyes from. Everything felt wrong when I woke up, I don't know why.

Even if the world was so loud, the only thing I can hear in my head right now was her voice:

"Promise me. Promise me you'll stay?"

Repeatedly, over, and over, and over again.

I swallowed hard, staring at the ceiling as if it had the answers for me.

It wasn't real. None of it even happened, but somehow it felt like it did.

Somehow, a part of me wanted to go back and stay there.

Somehow, I just missed her.