There are a few rules I have learned during my time here. Rule #1- Keep your head down. Don’t stand out and follow the crowd, take what they give you. Even if you disagree, it is better to be false to oneself than dead. Rule #2- Stay alert. Their people are everywhere. If you let your guard down and show one's true self, they will strike without mercy. Rule #3- Keep everything you own on you. If you get separated from your items, that’s it, you're dead. Rule #4- Don’t hesitate. As soon as you see any threat, run. As soon as you need to defend yourself, attack. They want you to hesitate so that they can get the upper hand. Rule #5-  You aren’t you. I am not me. Pato Atwood, the next-in-line elder, only exists in private; it is only Patrick Dakat the rest of the time, the human. These rules have kept me alive in this realm, which is formed from everything I've experienced here.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I repeated the rules. Each of them formed from mistake after mistake, looking in-depth at any interaction I had. As I look at myself, I don’t recognize the person before me. My grey skin, hidden under the spell, was replaced with a brown. The large ears I wore all sorts of earrings and jewelry on now shrunk and rounded, no more jewelry. The humans found it weird. My once happy, expressive face was now scared and stoic, a scar paints my nose. I check the time, seeing I have 30 minutes until my roommates come home. As I take off my necklace, I release my magic, letting the spell fall. My grey skin reveals itself, and my ears grow and form into a point. The mask called Patrick falls, and Pato emerges. I mustn't forget who I am, Rule # 6- Don't forget who you are, don’t forget where you come from, and your goal.

Only in the comfort of my room could I be myself. I sit on the bed and crawl further on the bed, resting my back against the wall. I close my eyes and search my memory for all the spells I know, and practice the ones safe enough for a confined room, which is a surprising amount. When I finish practicing my known spells, I squirm to the end of the bed and reach my arm, trying to reach the basket under my bed. I give up after two near misses, and instead focus on the plants in my room, the blood in my veins, and breathe out. I move my hand slowly, floating the basket up to my bed. When it's next to me, I release the magic and let it disperse itself back into the world, breathing it in. I grab the human spell book I found in an abandoned house and the blank playing cards. 

The playing cards are my proudest invention: Each one is made to look like normal playing cards but has a spell written into their cardstock. Human magic is more complicated, requiring large written components, tools, and more. Those spells are large, unportable, clunky. After years of research, I finally found a foolproof way to size my spells down, and no, I'm not sharing! It took two years, but I managed it, and now I have these decks in case of emergency.

 I decided to make this deck a deck of, what the hell is the word, Jdecko?? Greenery and flowers and Fire. With a blank card in my lap and the book open, I start etching the spell from memory, referencing the book from time to time. The magic flowing through me soothes my worries, making me feel whole once again.

The mindlessness of the task allows me to think of my new life, of Maddy and Drake. I met Maddy when I first started working at Greenwich Cafe. From the first day, she seemed to gravitate near me. Every day during the slow periods, she sought me out, talking to me about everything under the sun. From her upbringing to her education to her roommates, I heard it all. She slowly broke down all the walls, enough so that I could talk with her, telling her small bits of my life. She helped me open up, and eventually, I told her about my homeless status. She immediately helped me out, getting me a contract with the Landlord, Gery. That's when I met Drake. He was the other person sharing the three-bedroom apartment.

I'm halfway through the third card when I hear a ruckus in the halls. They must be home, and from what I hear, they are fighting again, about- what's the word, rent? I quickly stash the supplies in their basket and dash to the ground, shoving them deep under the bed. I stand up and my black amber necklace and with a small incantation, one which the book taught me, and Patrick is back, brown skin and round, small ears covering me. I open my bedroom door and sit on the couch, grabbing a book. I listen to them walk down the apartment hallway and open the door, yelling over each other. “You two shut up!” I yell at them, throwing the book between them.

Both of them back up, startled by the book thrown between them. They turn to look at me, and Maddy lights up, smiling at me. “I didnt reaize you would be home! Your usually on your walks right now!” 

“Don't change the subject! You need to pay rent!” Drake snaps, making both Maddy and me flinch. “I don’t care what you have to do, just do it!” he yells, making me scowl. He always gets angry quickly and takes it out on us, but from what I've learned, it seems human men are taught that it's okay. Thats

“Well im sorry, Drake, but my manager didn't give me enough hours this week!” Maddy says, speaking in a calm and soothing voice. For some reason, this makes him madder, screaming until his face turns red. I start getting fed up, trying to cover my ears. Alas, his voice still pierced my ears.

“Drake! Do shut up! I'll cover her rent this month okay!” I scream, getting fed up with him. I look to Maddy, who shoots me a relieved smile, then at Drake who gives me a dark glare. “Drake, do you have an issue?” I ask coldly, internally wondering why Maddy cares for him.

“You coddle her! She needs to figure this out herself!” he shouts, irritating my ears. 

“Drake. I am covering her rent, end of discussion.” I say sternly, leaving no room for argument. I stand up and walk over to my book, glaring at him when I walk by.

“FINE!” he shouts, storming off to his room and slamming the door, making me and Maddy flinch. I grab my book and walk over to Maddy.

“You okay?” I softly ask Maddy, pressing a hand on her shoulder. She gives me a sad smile, nodding. 

“I’m used to it.” She says in a shaky voice, making me frown. Humans could be so cruel, and in men, it seems encouraged. I hated that Maddy took it because she was told she had to.

“You shouldnt be.” I tell them, squeezing their shoulder. My heart aching for Maddy and those like her. “You shoulnt justify shitty actions because socity does.”

Maddy just sits still for a bit, processing my words. Eventually, she nods, softly saying, “I know. It's easier to just take it.” This makes me frown, but nodding along with them. It was easier just to take it. Hell, it's one of my rules!

“Yeah, it is.” I frown, walking over to the couch. I sit back down and open my book while Maddy turns on the TV and sits next to me. 

“- and the war stays at a standstill. When interviewed, General Gillig said that neither side was winning nor losing. With Adrax and the U.P.A. gaining the Freelands support, we have yet to see any new progress. With the death toll rising into the tens of thousands, all sides are desperate to end this war. The government has said that they are willing to a truce, where the UPA gives their island territories and Adrax gives up the land mass to the left of the 45th longitude line. Both countries have declined the offer, officialls from both making a shared statement: ‘The second we give up any land willingly to the likes of you is the day all hell hath broken loose.’ Ebron continues to fight for these new territories, giving us more land to feed our nation with. In the west, wildfires rav-” 

I quickly change the channel to some kid's show, glaring at the TV. This stupid war needs to end, and I hope it ends with Ebron falling. The propaganda they share may work on humans who have lived here their entire lives, but I am not one to fall for it, nor is Maddy based on her glaring at the TV as well. “Hate this damn country” She mumbles, pulling a new book out of her bag.

“Agreed. What book is that?” I ask, looking at the cover. The red text reads… something, I can't read it from here, and a rollercoaster on the bottom left. I know that it's a smuggled book as soon as I see it. 

“Fantasticland, by Mike Bockoven. Got it from the book guy downtown. Its pretty hardcore, ill let you read it once im done.” She says smiling. I lean back against the arm of the couch, reading my book. We fall into our silent ritual, showing each other interesting lines in our books. An hour later, Drake emerges from his bedroom and silently makes dinner for us. Me and Maddy keep reading our books, staying quiet so as to not cause a fight. He calls us over an hour later and we eat our dinner, talking stiffly about our day. Drake tells us how someone in the factory almost lost a finger, and how he had to stay late to finish their work. We finish dinner and  Maddy and I start to wash the dishes when we hear a knock on the door.

 “ITS GERY! IM HERE FOR THE RENT!” He yells, making me cover my ears. Curse my enhanced hearing and human’s loudness! Gods I hate Gery

“DRAKE! GET OUT HERE!” Maddy yells, before looking at me and apologizing “I know you dont like loud sounds, I'm sorry.” 

“You're okay,” I tell them, before walking into my room to get my rent money and grabbing more from my secret stash for Maddy's portion of the rent. I frown at the money, counting it out, leaving me with only 15 dollars left over…

‘It's okay,’ I tell myself, walking out and handing over the money to Gery. ‘I'll get more soon, and it's for Maddy’

Gery tries to make small talk, but I quickly dismiss myself. I go to my room and lie down.  I stare up at the ceiling, mind swarming with a storm of thoughts until I drift off, sleep taking me and haunting my dreams with memories of the past.