It began with the sound no cat ever trusts:

Zzzzzip. Zzzzzap. Thud.

The human was dragging suitcases out from the underworld (or closet, whatever). Meowster squinted from his nap perch.

Meowster: “Why is the ground vibrating with doom?”

Shadow: “He’s leaving us. I knew this day would come. I saw it in a dream.”

Luna (licking her paw): “You both panic too much. He’s obviously taking me.”

And then — he said it.

Human: “We’re going to Paris, my little babies!”

Silence.

Then screaming. (Mostly Meowster.)

Packing Time

The human tried to fold clothes.

Meowster unfolded them by lying on everything.

Shadow stole the toothbrush and hid it under the sofa.

Luna sat perfectly still… until no one was looking. Then she pooped in an empty suitcase.

Meowster: “We’re going to France. Do they have tuna in France?”

Shadow (staring dramatically): “I refuse to be bilingual. I’m already fluent in sarcasm.”

Luna (smirking): “I hear French cats kiss on the first hiss.”

Arrival in Paris

Everything smelled… fancy.

The hotel room had a chandelier, velvet cushions, and a tiny balcony that screamed “jump here if you’re dramatic.”

Meowster (eyes wide): “It smells like rich people and cheese.”

Shadow (sniffing the floor): “Someone here owns a poodle. I sense it.”

Luna (already on the minibar): “Is this... brie? I like this place.”

Then came disaster.

The moment the human left the room to “freshen up,” all hell broke loose.

Shadow pounced on the curtains. Meowster jumped into the bidet. Luna knocked over a wine glass and meowed at it like it had insulted her family.

When the human returned…

Human (horrified): “What did you three DO?!”

Luna instantly rubbed against his leg, eyes wide and innocent.

Human: “Aww… good girl, Luna. You’re so well-behaved.”

Meowster and Shadow were too stunned to speak.

Meowster (whispers): “She... she framed us.”

Shadow (hissing): “She’s the devil in fur.”

As the human opened the balcony doors to let the chaos settle, the Eiffel Tower twinkled in the distance.

But Meowster wasn’t looking at the view.

He was glaring at Luna.

Meowster: “This trip just got personal.”

Meanwhile The morning air in Paris was sweet.

The birds were chirping, the Eiffel Tower glistened in the sun…

And Meowster was trying to push a buttered croissant off the balcony.

Meowster: “If I can’t have it, no one can.”

Shadow: “We must hide the evidence. Paris must never know.”

Luna (batting her lashes): “Or... we could just eat it like elegant tourists?”

The human walked in holding… a leash.

And at the end of the leash?

A Golden Retriever. Big. Smiling. Drooling.

Human: “Meet Buddy! He’ll be helping me keep an eye on you three.”

Cue the collective feline horror.

Buddy – The Golden Goofball

His tail wagged like a broken ceiling fan.

His tongue lolled out like a fuzzy flag of peace.

Buddy (barking happily): “HI! I’M BUDDY! DO YOU WANNA BE FRIENDS? I HAVE A TOY! WANT TO SEE MY TOY? I SAT IN CHEESE!”

Meowster (backing into a corner): “It speaks in caps lock...”

Shadow (climbing the curtains): “It smells like peanut butter and fear.”

Luna (casually): “Aw, look at the golden sausage. Does it do tricks?”

That Afternoon: Cat vs. Dog vs. Furniture

The human left “just for 30 minutes” to get crepes.

That was enough time for a full civil war.

Buddy tried to chase his tail. He crashed into a chair. Then a lamp. Then Meowster.

Buddy (mid-crash): “SORRY! I LOVE YOU!”

Meowster (flailing): “Get off me, you walking breadstick!”

Luna, ever the mastermind, whispered to Buddy.

Luna: “Meowster said your tail looks like a used mop.”

Buddy (sadly): “What?! I comb it with my face!”

Shadow (from inside a drawer): “I’m moving to the balcony and starting a new life.”

Enter the Human

The door opened.

The room was wrecked.

Curtains tangled. Sofa flipped. Dog spinning in circles.

And Meowster... covered in jam.

Luna sat sweetly beside a vase of untouched flowers.

Human (sighs): “Luna, you’re my little angel, thank you for being calm.”

Meowster: “I HAVE JAM ON MY TAIL, SIR.”

Shadow (muffled from under couch): “Buddy sat on me for twelve minutes.”

Buddy rolled over and showed his belly.

Buddy: “I LOVE YOU ALL EVEN IF YOU HATE ME.”

As night fell and the stars shone above Paris…

Meowster sat on the windowsill, jam-dried fur sticking up.

Meowster: “We need a plan.”

Shadow: “We need a lawyer.”

Luna (grinning): “We need more croissants.”

📜 Meowster's Official Paris Panic Checklist:

☐ Knock croissant off balcony
☐ Bathe in bidet (accidentally)
☐ Survive French dog invasion
☐ Frame Luna (failed)
☐ Get framed by Luna (again)
☐ Start alliance with jam
☐ Threaten to defect to the Louvre
☐ Learn French? (Non.)

🏅 Mini-Awards of the Day:

🧈 Best Jam Costume: Meowster
🎭 Most Dramatic Exit: Shadow (into a drawer)
🍞 Fluffiest Threat: Buddy the Golden Retriever
🎀 Cutest Manipulator (Again): Luna, of course.

💬 Reader Poll:

If your pets went to Paris, who would destroy the hotel room first?
A) The dog
B) The cat
C) The human
D) All of the above

Comment your answer below ⬇️ because Meowster needs to know who to blame next time.