“This young lad here is Eli. My youngest son.” Harrison Edwards grumbles as we all sit by an extravagant dinner table with food that so far, no one has dared to touch. Merely mentioning Elis name and calling him his son both seem to almost be physically painful for him to say and he seems to be grinding his teeth together in an effort to keep himself from spiraling into insults. Despite being brothers, the difference in the aura and energy of Thomas and Eli was the polar opposite. Thomas was like royalty, handsome and rich and clearly aware of it, in control of everything he said and did. Eli on the other hand, sat and walked with his shoulders slumped like he was constantly carrying an enormous weight. His face seemed to be permanently frozen in a sad expression and his much softer features and chubbier face only accentuated the effect. Harrison tapped the back of his seat with his cane, and he flinched, slightly straightening his back. He glances at his father and then forces himself to make eye contact with both me and my father. “A pleasure to meet you both.” He mumbles, voice so soft and quiet I have to strain myself to hear it.  

Harrison Edwards lets out a deep sigh of disappointment as Elis nearly silent lackluster introduction finally cracks and destroys his poorly built facade of politeness. Eli sinks into his chair along with the already drab atmosphere. My father introduces me next, and I don't bother giving a smile or a further comment. Everyone in this room is painfully aware of just how much of a pointless circus this whole thing is going to be and in the absence of an audience, no one wants to pretend anymore. The wedding date and venue are discussed with the tone one would use when debating on a new living room couch and dinner crawls to an end, food still untouched.  

Servants walk us the door and the carriage ride home is absent of conversation. I figure that it is for the best, since neither one of us would have anything nice to say. He did just sell me off to another family like I was a priced horse. As the carriage stops in front of our house and the sun is beginning to set, father finally looks at me as he grabs my shoulder to make sure I pay attention. My heart begins to fill with hope that maybe this marriage would manage to restore some of the broken bond me and him seem to have. But what he says and how he says it with such earnestness, kills that hope and stomps on its corpse. “How I wish Thomas was still here. You and him would have made such beautiful children.” He smiles, clearly visualizing me standing next to Thomas in an expensive wedding gown. But the smile soon fades as reality sets back in. My face twists in disgust at the thought and thankfully father seems to read it as disappointment and simply pats me on the shoulder as a comforting gesture. I cannot blame him of course, since he and no one else will ever know what Thomas was really up to that night. And even if I were to tell, who would believe a madwoman over a rich man?  

I return his gesture by reaching out and touching his shoulder too, faintly smiling. A wordless way to say that I think everything will be okay too. He seems to appreciate it but says nothing. I hate that I had to lose him due to my own insanity. He retreats to his old office, and I go to my room. I look out towards the deep waves, the urge to dive into them entering my mind. I could almost see a siren sitting on one of the rocks barely peeking out from under the waves. And as I placed my hands on the windowsill, I could hear her sad lonely song calling out to me. Come join me and my sisters under the waves, she said. Come swim and come dance beneath the waves, finally be a part of a family and belong. Come lure nasty men to their deaths and devour their bodies and become seafoam or a fish when you had enough. “I so wish I could, dear siren sister. But thread of faith is pulling me another way.” I whisper into the wind and my message rides on with it. The singing stops and the siren disappears under the waves. My heart full of melancholy, I let tears fall.