Chapter 4

A tree was growing. I could hear the sound of roots expanding. In the trunk of the tree, there was a large, vertical gap, like a huge hole the size of an eyeball. A small baby sat inside this hole. The baby was looking away. As Vinod moved a little closer, the baby turned towards him. Its entire face consisted of a single, vertical eye. Vinod flinched in terror at the sight of its face.

Immediately, he opened his eyes.

He was in the foreign room, exactly where he had been before.

Vinod's inner voice: These dreams won't leave me alone. No matter where I go, I'll always have to face them.

Suddenly, Vinod remembered his parents. He needed to find out if his cancer dream was real or not. So he turned on his phone and dialed his mother's number. The phone rang, but his mother didn't answer. He decided to call his dad to find out, but when he searched for his dad's number, it wasn't there. No matter how much he looked, his dad's number was missing.

Vinod's inner voice: Why isn't Dad's number showing up? Maybe I deleted it. Why would I have deleted it? Did I really want to be that alone? Okay, if I remember Dad's number, I can just dial it, right?

Dialing number...

"9350...1...?"

What even is Dad's number? Why can't I remember it? I know Dad's number.

"9350..1...4...?" Have I become this isolated? Did I push Dad away so much?

I'll call Mom again.

Dialing Mom...

"This number can't be reached right now."

It just rang, and now it's unreachable? Are they avoiding me, or am I avoiding them? I don't like this reality. I wanted to be distant, but not this distant. How have I been living in a reality like this? Is my life really all right here?

Incoming call...

Vinod: Hello, Mom?

Office HR: Hey! Where are you? Why are you so late? You didn't even join the meeting. If you keep doing this, your salary for this month might be cut. And we'll have to look for somebody else. Hello? Are you still there?

Vinod: Ye... yes, ma'am. Some personal problem. Sorry for being late. I'll be there.

Office HR: You better be.

Vinod's inner voice: Why did I get scared and try to appease her? Is this what I face every day here? Why is she so mean to me?

Vinod was getting ready for the office, but his mind wasn't there. He was still reeling from the strange events that had just unfolded. It didn't feel like much time had passed since his dream. He opened his phone and checked his office address; it was saved in Google Maps.

He reached the office, feeling nervous. For him, consciously, this was his first time, but for everyone else, it clearly wasn't. He stepped inside; the office looked big and fancy, like a real, well-decorated space. Everyone was busy. It felt a little overwhelming, and a bit scary.

Even though he didn't fully understand anything, he felt a flicker of satisfaction. He had always wanted to be independent and take care of his own life, hadn't he?

Office HR: What are you gawking at? Go sit at your desk and get to work.

Vinod: Ye... yes, ma'am.

Vinod's inner voice: Who is she? Why is she so intimidating? Was she the one who called me? She must be the HR. She looks fine, but she speaks so rudely.

Vinod didn't know where his system was. So he went back to the HR.

Vinod: Madam, could you please tell me where my system is? (pleading and annoyingly)

Office HR: Is this your first day here? Why are you behaving so crappily?

She led him to his chair and said, "Now do the work and don't tell me you don't know."

Vinod looked at his system, checked the files, and everything automatically came back to him. Even if he didn't consciously know it, the information was stored subconsciously. So, he started working without anyone's help. The HR noticed this and seemed satisfied, walking away.

Since it was his first time consciously, Vinod was enjoying the work. He was very serious, completing file after file. The HR noticed this change in Vinod too.

Office HR (to herself): What happened to him?

Vinod had a small group of colleagues at the office. As they chatted normally, Vinod shared much more about himself than usual. Even his colleagues found his behavior weird.

Colleague (John): What's up with you? Why are you talking so much? Did you hit your head or something?

Other colleagues: Yeah, right! Haha (laughing at Vinod).

Vinod didn't understand. He sat back in his chair and continued working. Feeling strange, he looked at others in the office. Everyone was working, but no one looked happy. They were just working, as if no one enjoyed their job. Some were working seriously, but their faces were expressionless. Like zombies, drooling, just working. Vinod finally understood the reality.

No matter where he was, the people in his office were different, yet nothing in his life had really changed.

He drove home and found himself on his bed. Nothing special had happened. Nothing felt special. It was just another lifeless, boring day, like always.

Vinod lay flat on his bed, staring at the ceiling. All the noises in his mind started again. He kept his eyes wide open.

Suddenly, it was morning. He put on his tie and went to the office. With the same wide eyes, and thoughts of "what's even happening?", he continued his life.

Office hours ended. He was in the parking lot below, his office bag in hand, his car in front of him.

Vinod's inner voice: This life I seem to be living feels incredibly sad. I feel pity for myself. How have I endured such a lonely life for so long? I'm not happy. I'm not entirely sad either. My mind feels completely empty. I don't even know how to react anymore.

He couldn't stop himself from crying. Tears kept coming. Since it was a parking lot, other people were coming for their vehicles. So he wiped his eyes. As he was wiping his tears and walking towards his car to get in, someone in the parking lot grabbed Vinod by his shirt collar, pulled him back, and threw him to the ground.

Vinod didn't understand anything. So he asked them,

Vinod: Who are you? What do you want?

Strangers: What do we want? Why are you asking so innocently?

They kicked and punched Vinod. There were six of them, and they had weapons. Everyone looked very serious.

Vinod's inner voice: Seeing the seriousness on their faces, I knew they weren't playing a prank. They came to beat me. But why? What connection do I have with people like them? What could I have done to them? Did I take their money? Did I steal something? Did I hit any of them? What could I have possibly done?

Punch...

Coughing blood, Vinod asked them again,

Vinod: Why are you beating me? If you want money, I'll give you everything I have. Please, just leave me alone.

Strangers: We'll take the money, but we won't leave you.

Vinod: Why...?

One of them, looking very serious, grabbed Vinod by the collar, leaned down, and spoke directly into his eyes. His eyes burned red like blood, filled with immense anger and sorrow. The tears in his eyes seemed to evaporate. With a shaky voice, conveying his pain, he said,

Stranger: Do you see this photo?

The stranger showed a photo of a younger man.

Stranger: Do you know who this is? This is my brother. You killed him. You must have beaten him to death, just like this. He was a bit stronger than me. Haha (a small, pained laugh). That's why he was still alive until I got here. He took his last breath in my arms. He died in my hands without even saying a word.

Vinod: What's your guarantee that I did it?

Punch... punch... The stranger lifted Vinod up and spoke again, showing him a video footage.

At the start, the camera was shaking. But then the phone fell on a stone, and they could clearly see Vinod non-stop punching the young kid.

After seeing the video footage, Vinod was completely in shock.

Punch again... and again he was lifted up.

Stranger: If this doesn't prove it, this will.

The stranger showed Vinod his office ID card.

Seeing his ID card splattered with blood, Vinod finally accepted it.

Punch...

Vinod's inner voice: But why?

Punch...

Vinod's inner voice: Why did I kill that kid?

Punch...

Vinod's inner voice: So brutally?

Punch...

Vinod's inner voice: In the end... it doesn't matter.

Punch and blood spills.

Stranger: You won't die easily for what you did. We will keep beating you until you take your last breath. I want to hear your final scream of agony. My thirst for revenge must be quenched. I won't let you die easily.

The stranger kept punching continuously. Vinod lay helpless.

Vinod thought hazily: Who would have thought that coming to a foreign country would change my whole life? Now, differentiating between what's real and what's fake is useless. Now, if I die in this foreign land, no one will care. No one will come to grieve for me.

It's okay if Pooja thought I betrayed her. It's okay if Mom and Dad thought I was an irresponsible child. It's okay if Ramana and Shanmuk thought I was a useless friend. If they think that, at least I'll be alive in their memory.

Ramana's words from when they were naxalites: "If we stay alive, we can treasure his memories."

Vinod thought hazily: I didn't understand then, Ramana. Now I do. I haven't given you enough memories to cherish, but if I'm remembered even with hatred, that's enough for me.

Punch... punch...

His tears mixed with blood.

Still, the stranger didn't stop punching. The stranger's eyes, too, were filled with tears of rage and sadness, which is why he didn't back down. In the parking lot, only the sounds of punches and bones breaking could be heard.

How long will this continue...?

Next time...