Title: I Was Isekai’d With My Wife and Now She’s the Final Boss of the Fandom Author: H. Behevras Genre: Comedy, Isekai, Music, Married Protagonist, Parody Tags: #FinalBossWife #MetalheadMC #BoybandHell #TrashIsekaiButActuallyGenius
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CHAPTER 8: Roast & Retail – Noona’s Short-Lived Merchant Life
Scene: Street Market – Open-Air Bazaar, Morning Heat
Noona sits behind a modest stall, back straight, arms crossed, face as calm and unreadable as a porcelain doll.
Her display: handmade soaps, herbal skincare, incense, maybe a few “miracle” creams Yu-Riella helped source.
A simple sign reads:
> ✨ “Glow Like Me” – All-Natural Beauty ✨
No price tags. No sales pitch. No smile.
Yu-Riella whispered:
> “Just be friendly! Smile once in a while!”
Noona responded with a stare that made a passing hawker drop his basket.
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Public Reactions
Passersby 1:
> “Is this a scam trap? She looks like the kind of girl the mafia would use to bait fools…”
Passersby 2:
> “I feel like making eye contact is already a crime.”
Passersby 3:
> “If I ask the price, will I lose my kneecaps?”
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The Ones Who Try to Flirt
Rich playboy merchant:
> “You selling skincare? Why don’t you sell your heart too, sweetheart?”
Noona (without blinking):
> “You clearly need eye cream… and shame.”
He leaves with a sudden existential crisis.
—
Wannabe noble brat:
> “I’ll buy the whole stall if you smile for me.”
Noona:
> “You’ll die broke.”
—
Cocky adventurer:
> “You single, or do I need to fight your boyfriend?”
Noona:
> “You’d lose. To me.”
He retreats. Quietly. Forever.
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Tong Li-Fat “Helps”
Yu-Riella’s husband, Disaster Mustache, insists on promoting the stall.
Wearing mismatched kung fu robes and his signature uneven mustache, he performs “Ancient Moving Fist” forms in front of the table.
> “Observe! I shall now demonstrate the Cleansing Chi Strike!”
He accidentally uppercuts the entire soap display into the air.
Herbal creams splatter on a noble’s shoes.
Yu-Riella: “YOU’RE BANNED FROM BREATHING NEAR HER STALL!”
Tong Li-Fat (smiling): “A true master is never understood in his own time.”
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One Customer Returns
A frail old granny buys a soap bar in silence.
Returns the next day. With friends.
The day after, she brings soup for Noona and says:
> “She may look cold, but this cream fixed my crow’s feet.”
“I now call her… My Ice Peach.”
Noona accepts the soup. Silently. But allows it to be warm.
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Rumors Begin
“She’s a fallen goddess.”
“She cursed a guy with acne for cheating.”
“She can roast you into self-reflection.”
“She sells anti-aging rage.”
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Merchant Guild Inspector Arrives
A suspicious man arrives in uniform. Clipboard. Bad haircut.
> “You are… under investigation for intimidation?”
Noona calmly closes a jar.
> “I only reflect what they bring.”
He stares. Sweats.
> “T-this… qualifies as excellence. Here’s an honorary merchant badge.”
He bows and runs.
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Yu-Riella Returns
> “Why are there rumors you made a noble cry?”
Noona (shrugging): “He said I should smile more.”
Yu-Riella: snorts, starts writing it down for embroidery.
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Final Scene
By end of the week, she closes the stall.
Not because she failed.
Because she succeeded too hard.
The Merchant Guild sent six letters. Two nobles threatened duel-by-poetry.
Yu-Riella hangs the “ban notice” on their door like a medal.
Yu-Riella: “Let’s never do this again.”
Noona: “Agreed.”
Tong Li-Fat: “But I just invented the Chi-infused anti-wrinkle slap!”
Both women: “No.”
As they sip tea, Noona looks at the empty spot where the stall once stood.
> “Maybe next life, I’ll try retail again.”
“This one’s too stupid.”
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[TO BE CONTINUED]
— Author’s Note — Noona could’ve built an entire skincare empire, but instead she chose violence. Emotionally. With her eyes.
Also shoutout to the grandma who renamed her “Ice Peach.” You deserve radiant skin and unlimited soup.
– H. Behevras
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© 2025 H. Behevras | First published on Royal Road
Do not repost without permission.
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