Thirtyx blinked at his friends as if in a trance.

Rhea perched on the edge of the trunk with an exaggerated eye roll. "Thirtyx, tell Benn he's being ridiculous. Whyever would we drop his bags off first, then abandon you while we brought my stuff downstairs, then have to come back? I was being efficient.” She punctuated her statement with a toss of her blonde waves over her shoulder. "Anyway, it's really good to see you. By the Twins, you look skinny. Did the professors not have enough gossip over break?"

Benn pinched the bridge of his nose. "Really? You haven't seen Thirtyx in weeks, and the first thing you comment on is his weight?"

"At least I'm talking to him!" She smiled brightly at the Verith. "Alright, spill. I want to hear everything. How have you been?"

Thirtyx's mouth worked like a blubbering fish removed from water. "I... I'm... you..."

How could they act so normal? Like they hadn't gone weeks with no contact? Like their failure to come back early hadn’t driven him into a full panic? Thirtyx's chest tightened. His breathing became more labored. Tears of mingled frustration and bitterness and relief rose to his eyes, and he couldn't stop them any more than he could stop his heaving lungs.

Gasping and shaking, he sank back onto his bed.

"Thirtyx?" Benn stepped forward to help, but Thirtyx waved him away, his head back between his knees. Great. This was hardly the rousing greeting he wanted to give his friends after weeks apart. Now that they were standing in front of him, he felt so stupid. He'd been so sure they wouldn't show up—and for what?

Rhea remained on the trunk, but she pivoted her whole body to face Thirtyx. "What's wrong? Are you alright?"

"I'm f— f— f—"

Thirtyx bit his traitorous tongue so hard it almost bled. He clearly wasn't fine; when his mouth tried to make the word, his tongue went limp. The muscles in his lips refused to obey his command to speak. The discomfort and embarrassment of trying and failing to lie was more brutal than anything else. He gasped harder. He squeezed his legs tighter against his chest as if that would stop the panic from rising.

"Rhea, get up," Benn muttered. Footsteps. The click of a lock. Sounds of rummaging. More footsteps. "Here, come on." Benn pried one of Thirtyx's hands away from his knees and wrapped his fingers around a vial.

Thirtyx tilted his head up to eye it suspiciously. Although he couldn't do magic, he'd been around it enough to recognize the lavender liquid as a calming potion. He didn't want to need it, but his breathing wasn’t getting any less frantic on its own. With a grimace, he uncapped the vial and poured the contents down his throat, resisting the urge to throw the empty vial at Benn.

Thirtyx pressed his face back into his knees until the magic began to slow his racing heart. Everything was alright. He was safe. His friends had come back for him, they still cared about him, and he wouldn't have to face this term by himself. Although part of him resisted the statements as magically-induced nonsense, he knew the calming potion couldn't lie any better than he could. It didn't whisper false platitudes into his brain like some other magics could; it simply amplified the sentiments that were real.

With a deep breath, Thirtyx picked his head up from his knees. The calming potion thankfully also ebbed the embarrassment from the tears making glistening trails down his cheeks. He looked from Rhea to Benn and back again. "I thought you guys weren't coming back."

The guilt hit their expressions simultaneously. Benn covered his face with his hand. Rhea sank back onto the trunk. Benn let out a heavy sigh. "Twins, Thirtyx, I... I'm so sorry."

"Me too," Rhea said meekly. "We didn't even think of that."

"Well what was I supposed to think?!" The anger, suppressed by fear for a full week now, was out of Thirtyx's mouth before he could stop it. "You've come back early every term since we were ten, and not only did you not do that this time, I haven’t heard a thing from you since you left! Look, I don't take your coming back early for granted, but you didn't tell me, then I didn't see your caravan today, and—"

He took a deep breath before he lapsed into a panic again. Rhea stared at the floor, Benn at the wall. Their guilt bothered Thirtyx far more than he’d imagined all those times he’d played this tirade in his head.