The pub was full. 

The evening looked promising. Riley hoped he could break free for a moment, letting his mind forget about his family problems. 

His guards, two of them, were there somewhere, but hidden. They shouldn’t interrupt or spoil it.

It was a party for all the students, including the doctorates. The end of the academic year here, in the City—all the students usually came here, and Riley hoped that he would as well. 

Taj.

Riley was so hungry for him. He wanted so much to see his face, those eyes looking at him with that look. He didn’t know what the meaning of the look was, but he was under its spell. 

Recently, he liked observing Taj’s face, watching every detail, and thinking about it later. When Taj smiled, Riley felt warm inside… and today was an occasion to spend the whole evening, maybe the whole night, watching Taj having fun with other students at the pub. 

Others. 

Fucking others. But at least Riley could look. Watch Taj laughing, drinking, and close to others. Others… fuck, he just couldn’t shut up sometimes, in his brain. 

“Shut up, brain. Looking is enough,” he said to himself.

Riley was anxious, as he couldn’t find Taj in the crowd. 

Some students said ‘hi’ to him; others wanted to drink with him. Riley paid for all, brightening the mood in the pub. People cheered and smiled at him. He felt a wave of positivity entering him. 

The atmosphere was happy, and Riley also started to feel elevated. His nervousness ceased. 

He looked more like the old himself. 

Riley knew he was handsome. He took care of his presence. Stylish clothes showed he had taste together with money. 

Sometimes he was too quick in his speech, sometimes swearing too much, but in general, he was liked. Riley knew about it; he knew how to use his features to his advantage. Like his hair. His unusually red hair was something girls liked to mess with. The girls didn’t say no in the past when he asked. 

Girls! Who cared about girls? Then Riley saw him. 

Taj. 

He was right there—a lean, strong figure. Black hair, as usual, tied in a ponytail, but tonight looser, long strands came out and fell on his cheeks. His eyes were slightly sparkling in the lights of the pub. And the lips… Riley recently noticed how nicely outlined they were. Tonight, Taj’s lips looked slightly moist and wet; they looked soft. 

So soft. 

Taj noticed him and nodded. 

Fuck! Taj acknowledged him! Riley then could freely spend the whole evening—the whole night if he was lucky—staring at him and remembering all the details. If he could get closer, maybe he could smell him. Taj’s smell was so exciting. 

It was getting dark outside; the lights in the pub were switched to more intimate ones. Students were more drunk; the fun was growing. Taj didn’t drink anything intoxicating. Riley noticed and stopped drinking as well. He didn’t want to lose any minutes. Getting drunk was useless. 

Taj spent the evening alone. He stood there drinking water, observing the crowd. He checked his messenger a few times, didn’t send anything, just checked, as if he was reading something many times. Taj was even smiling. 

Once, Riley thought, but wasn’t sure about it later. Once, Taj took a glass of water and made a gesture as if saluting someone, but there was no one.

It all made Riley happy. He didn’t feel jealous. He was watching, dreaming. Riley immersed himself in his vision; he had so many of them recently, so many. He felt calm; he stopped swearing and stopped having this mess in his head, which he had recently been experiencing all the time. 

The whole party, Taj was there, allowing him to look—and Riley did.