Tuesday morning was bright and clear, with the kind of crisp blue sky that promised a genuinely warm day ahead. There wasn't a cloud in sight, and the early sunlight was already carrying enough heat to suggest we might actually get some proper spring weather for once.

The robin was busily picking at the lawn near where I knew there was an ants' nest. Bloody ants, I thought, watching the bird hop about. They were way too close to my tomato plants for my liking, and I'd been meaning to do something about them for weeks.

I filled my glass with water and flicked on the kettle. Tuesday meant muesli, and with the promise of warmth ahead, it felt like the right choice to start what looked like it would be a genuinely pleasant day. The shower was running upstairs.

The radio crackled to life as I poured the muesli into my bowl, and Gary's voice carried the kind of local news that seemed both serious and slightly absurd.

"Local cinema Hoppers Movies has come under fire for showing Armageddon over the past week, with many saying it's in extremely poor taste given current circumstances. Meanwhile, George 'Hoppy' Hopwood, the cinema's owner, says it's been the biggest hit of the year so far! 'Everyone loves watching it again!' he told us. 'Beats all those blinking superhero movies, but then we could do with a few of those at the moment.' He's noticed how the audiences really get into the film, with lots of cheering and clapping, especially during the drilling scenes. 'They seem to eat well too,' he added with a chuckle, 'never sold so much popcorn and pick-and-mix in my life! We're showing it three times a day and it's packed every screening.' When asked if he'll be showing Deep Impact next, he added, 'Depends on how those rockets do, I guess...'"

Gary paused, clearly pondering what George meant, then seemed to realise the implication, if the rockets failed and the asteroid was actually going to hit. He quickly but awkwardly shifted into his more normal routine.

"Right! It's Tuesday! Tuesday bells, Tuesday bells, Tuesday all the way... where did I get that from?" Gary asked, sounding as annoyingly jubilant as ever. "I think it was from some internet thing back in the day. Anywho, it's Tuesday and we have another Gary on the line! It's Gary from Langdon Hills! Hello Gary from Langdon Hills, how are you today?"

"You can just call me Gary," came a reply that sounded like the stereotype of what would happen if a traffic warden and a train spotter had a baby.

"Yes, but we don't want to confuse the listeners," DJ Gary replied, ignoring how completely different they sounded. His voice was super over-excited; while Gary from Langdon Hills sounded monumentally dull.

DJ Gary laughed awkwardly as there was just silence in response to his remark.

"What can I do for you on this Tuesday then, Gary, who I'll not refer to as being from Langdon Hills?"

Gary muttered something inaudible before asking, "Can I have 'Sailing' by Rod Stewart?"

DJ Gary sighed audibly. "Of course you would."

I turned off the radio quickly, before Gary from Langdon Hills could even reply. That was quite enough torture for one morning.

Shaking my head at the horrible song choice, I looked out toward next door and noticed the blinds were shut again. I hadn't heard any shouting last night though, not that you ever heard her voice, just his. They were a strange couple, she seemed pleasant enough, but he never even acknowledged me when I wave morning, kid was a typical four year old, way too easily over excitable and loud, when he is allowed to be... When his dad wasn’t there. Dave always said he thought he could 'fix' their relationship. God help the pair of them, and their kid.

I'd just settled at the table with my breakfast when Dave appeared in the doorway, looking surprisingly alert for a Tuesday morning. He carried what appeared to be an ice-cold bottle of Budweiser, condensation still beading on the glass. That seemed odd - Dave didn't have a fridge upstairs, so where had he managed to keep a beer that cold?

He sat down across from me, drank most of the bottle in one long gulp, and said, "Ahh, needed that." Then, without even seeming to pause, he continued, "You know, I like to think on the last day of the dinosaurs, a T-Rex was having a mare and hoped the world would end, then looked up and said 'oh shit!'"

I looked across at him and said, "What the fuck, Dave."