"Siwoo, dear! It’s been so long since we last saw you! Oh, you were just a little baby the last time we met! Do you remember me?" Hyunshik’s mother immediately attacked him with hugs, while Siwoo could only look around in shock, eyes darting desperately for help.

Hyunshik, who was standing at the threshold as well, burst into loud laughter. Great, Siwoo thought, just what I needed.

During lunch, the parents engaged in lively conversation: the fathers joked, the mothers reminisced about old times, and, of course, the family's international adventures were also brought up. Hyunshik’s parents commented on what a handsome young man Siwoo had become, while Siwoo’s parents said the same about Hyunshik. Siwoo didn’t care. He hardly listened, barely ate a few bites, and didn’t even attempt to put on a polite face.

After the meal, the adults laughed heartily as they moved to the living room, giving Siwoo the perfect opportunity to slip away to his room. Unfortunately, just as he was about to close the door behind him, Hyunshik slipped inside. Without a word and with complete audacity, he dropped himself onto one of Siwoo’s beanbag chair, settling in as if he were at home. Siwoo stared at him, baffled.

"What are you doing?" he asked immediately.

Hyunshik didn’t answer – he only smirked as he glanced around the room, comfortably linking his hands behind his head.

"When was the last time you cleaned in here?" he asked, amused, locking eyes with Siwoo.

Siwoo glanced around at his unmade bed, the open closet doors, and the clothes and trash scattered everywhere. He shrugged, then sighed and sat down on his bed, facing Hyunshik. Raising an eyebrow, he studied his friend, wondering how Hyunshik could always be so carefree and cheerful. He had never seen the guy sad, down, or angry. (Then again, he hadn't known him for that long. Though their parents had been friends since forever, they couldn’t remember each other from infancy, and Siwoo had been very young when they left Korea.) He envied Hyunshik. He envied him terribly.

When Siwoo didn’t respond, the other boy finally spoke up again, now with slight concern.

"Hey, you look like a homeless person who also forgot how to smile," he said, shaking his head so that his dark bangs swayed across his high forehead. "What’s wrong?"

"Nothing," Siwoo replied instantly, though he himself could hear how unconvincing he sounded. He pictured how he must look: worn-out grey sweatpants, a stained T-shirt, messy hair. He felt pathetic. "Nothing’s wrong, I’ve just been really tired lately," he said, trying to gesture as genuinely as possible.

Hyunshik laughed; his whole face lit up, and his eyes gleamed wildly. He laughed for a long time, and when he finally wiped his tears away, he smiled and shook his head.

"Come on, you can do better than that," he scoffed. Then, seeing Siwoo’s sombre expression, he sobered up slightly. "Look, I know, we’re not exactly close friends, but maybe it’s time we changed that. Tell me what’s wrong. Maybe I can help."

Siwoo blinked in surprise. He felt a sudden warmth spread through his chest. It felt incredibly good that someone cared about him, that someone was paying attention. He hadn’t even realized until now how much he needed this kind of kindness in the past few days.

He let out a pained sigh. He had no idea how to put into words what was weighing on his heart.

"I did something really bad," he whispered, his throat tightening with that horrible, stinging lump that made it hard to breathe. "I hit Junho."

He wasn’t sure why, but he looked up at Hyunshik with a bit of fear, only to find his friend staring at him with furrowed brows, confused. It was as if he was waiting for Siwoo to continue, and when he realized that was all, he spread his arms in question.

"And? What happened? Did he hit you back?" He then examined Siwoo’s face more closely, noticing the faint scratches on his skin, and frowned in confusion. "Did he scratch you?"

"You don’t get it," Siwoo shook his head, disappointed.

"Then talk in a way I can understand!" Hyunshik was clearly puzzled.

Siwoo sighed. "We argued over something stupid, and I just lost it completely… I have no idea what happened." He felt like the ground beneath him was opening up, ready to swallow him whole. "Hyunshik, I... I think I’m going crazy. I don’t understand what happened, but if I hadn’t snapped out of it in time, who knows how far I would’ve gone, and..."

"Wait a second," his friend cut him off, trying to process what he had just heard. "How badly did you hit him?"

"Badly."

"And him? How badly did he hit you?"

"Not so badly."

Hyunshik burst into laughter. He didn’t understand a thing.

"Have you talked since then?" he asked.

Siwoo shook his head. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because I can’t look him in the eye."

"You feel that bad about it?"

"Yes."

Hyunshik laughed again.

"You’re in love with him, aren’t you?"

Siwoo looked up at his friend in shock. He had never talked about this with Hyunshik, and the question hit him unexpectedly, making him uncomfortable. But he nodded.

"I see," the other boy said, standing up. He crossed the small distance between them and stopped in front of Siwoo, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder while looking him straight in the eyes. "You’re an idiot," he said diplomatically. Before Siwoo could protest in outrage, he continued, "Seriously, you look like a depressed emo TikToker just because you fought with Junho? And instead of apologizing, you’re sitting here wallowing in self-pity? Dude, pull yourself together! Do you think Junho has been crying at home for days, licking his wounds? He’s a man too, he could’ve hit you back if he wanted to. If he’s in love with you too, I guarantee he’s more hurt by your silence than by the fact that you hit him. So get your ass up, go over there, and talk to him!"

Siwoo didn’t even dare blink. Hyunshik stared at him intensely, even long after he finished speaking. Siwoo was utterly confused. Could it really be that simple? His dark thoughts, his self-loathing, the sleepless nights – all for nothing?

"So, you’re saying," he muttered, biting his lip as he looked at his friend, "that fighting is normal?"

"Well," Hyunshik considered, "not exactly. But it can happen, especially when strong emotions are involved, ones that people don’t know how to handle yet. I think you overreacted, but I get it… Your feelings are clouding your judgment..."

Siwoo suddenly felt incredibly foolish. Hyunshik was right, completely right. Even though his friend didn’t know all the details, he had explained things so clearly and rationally.

He sighed, groaning in frustration. His head felt unbearably heavy.

"I hate it when someone is smarter than me," he admitted, forcing a small, encouraging smile toward Hyunshik, who returned the gesture in surprise. "You’re right. I was selfish, and I wallowed in self-pity. I need to go see Junho… right now."

He jumped to his feet but immediately sat back down, staring ahead in panic. "But what if he doesn’t want to see me anymore?"

Hyunshik grinned and patted his shoulder. "Worst case? He slams the door in your face. What’s the big deal?"

Siwoo stared blankly into space for a moment, then, after considering and carefully thinking things through, he nodded. He stood up again, gathered a few pieces of clothing from the floor that seemed usable, and immediately headed for the exit of the room, intending to get dressed in the bathroom.

Hyunshik called after him, slightly uncertain. “Just keep in mind that I might not be right about everything, since I don’t actually know that…”

But Siwoo didn’t hear him anymore. He had already left the room.