DISCLAMER BEFORE YOU START READING THIS CHAPTER : Mention of violence and gore, if you are sensitive to that, don't read!

Chapter 6: Suffocating Guilt

Eiji returned empty-handed that evening, thanks to Himari's father. It was frustrating—he would have liked to learn more about this woman. Her courage and the fire that seemed to animate her intrigued him, not just her beauty. But everything in its own time.

He eventually reached the Satô house.

When he parked in front of the house, someone was standing at the entrance—it was his mother. Arms crossed, eyebrows furrowed? Yes. As Toma had predicted, he was going to get yelled at.

Getting out of his car, Eiji flashed a warm smile that only his mother had the privilege of seeing.

"Oka-san!" he called out with a little snicker. He always found it funny when she wore that expression.

"Don't even think about calling me mom, you unworthy son!" she said with exaggeration as he approached.

"You didn't even bother to come see your mother before going off to do whatever, wherever!" She pouted, hitting him on the chest when he tried to kiss her forehead.

"Mom, you're exaggerating. I'm here now," he said, successfully kissing her forehead this time.

"Hm, you're lucky I don't kick you back to where you came from, you big giraffe." She sighed, taking his face and caressing his cheeks. Her fingers traced the scar he had gotten during a bar fight that almost ended badly.

"You worry me sometimes... You disappear far too often and without telling anyone where you're going..." she said with a worried look.

"Mom..."

Hana interrupted herself with a forced little laugh.

"No need. Let's go inside, okay? I forgive you this time. Your father is waiting for you in his office." She turned and entered the house, Eiji following behind.

"Try not to put him in too bad of a mood," she added, half joking, half serious, as she headed toward the living room.

The traditional Japanese house where her children had grown up was partially decorated with rare and sumptuous artifacts. The plaster-covered wooden partitions were painted a lovely shade of green—not a flashy green, but soft and soothing. The decorations were harmonious, blending earth and light. Their mother had taste, that was for sure.

This house, which despite the violence of their world once held warmth and a sense of security... now felt stifling and cold.

Tonight it was quiet, nothing like the days when his younger brothers' children ran and shouted everywhere. They must all be asleep by now.

Eiji knocked once on his father's door and entered.

"Did you need to see me?" he asked as he took a seat opposite the desk.

Ren was standing by the sliding door leading to the engawa that wrapped around the house, this section opening directly to the garden.

He was gazing at the moon with a thoughtful expression.

"Yes," he said without turning toward him.

"Where were you?"

"At my apartment," Eiji answered vaguely.

"Hm. Jamal told me about the ambush. How could you fall into that trap?"

Eiji shrugged.

"It happened, that's all. I brought back the signed contract, that's what you wanted, right?"

"Yes, but you killed men. One of your men—the ones who cleaned up after you—told me everything." He finally turned, looking at him with a stern, irritated expression.

"You are the best among your brothers and our men, but you attract far too much attention, Eiji. And every fucking time I have to clean up the shit you leave behind! If a civilian had seen you and run off, huh?! You weren't untouchable there like you are here, Eiji."

His tone rose.

"They provoked us and I acted. If I hadn't, I'd be dead by now," Eiji said in a calm tone.

Ren remained silent for a moment before sitting back down at his desk.

"I don't care who started it. Be more careful when you're abroad."

"Yeah, well, you're welcome. At least now they got the message and they won't give us any more trouble."

Ren sighed in exasperation.

"You're still as reckless as ever. It's time you stopped behaving like that. You're the eldest in this family, you're 28 years old, Eiji, not 18 anymore. Act like it. And Akira came back from vacation with his wife. Don't try to talk to him."

Eiji's face darkened at the mention of his first younger brother's name.

"Yeah, yeah, same old story. He always hates me." He stood up.

"And you also think it's my fault what happened that night. Don't deny it. No matter how many times I tried to redeem myself, how many times I begged for forgiveness! That kid was my first nephew, I considered him like my own son. FUCK, I SUFFERED FROM HIS DEATH TOO!" His usually calm tone finally broke.

Ren got up.

"Don't you dare rai—"

Eiji cut him off.

"No matter what I give or do for this family, I'm always in the wrong. Even the day I almost DIED, you held it against me! I am more of a weapon in your eyes than a son." His voice carried pain, the kind he rarely showed to this family who saw nothing in him but a volatile, emotionless killing machine.

He left the office without another word. Ren didn't stop him, knowing full well he wouldn't have listened anyway.

Now fuming with rage, Eiji stepped outside, cigarette pack in hand. The fresh air hit him in the face, but even that didn't cool the heat of his anger.

As he walked toward the bridge where the koi swam, he didn't notice the figure passing him until they bumped shoulders, making him drop his cigarettes and lighter.

Looking up to see who it was, he saw Akira.

Akira said nothing, but his cold, distant gaze said it all. He was about to pass by without a word when Eiji firmly grabbed his arm.

"You'll have to talk to me again someday," Eiji muttered angrily.

Akira pulled his arm free.

"The day you bring my 5-year-old son back from the dead—that day only will I speak to you again. Until then? You're dead to me." His voice dripped with hatred and disgust before he turned and headed back toward the house.

Eiji crouched to pick up what had fallen before lighting his cigarette and walking to the bridge.

He leaned on the railing, watching the koi swim. Footsteps approached, but he didn't bother to look up.

"Are you okay, boss? I heard the voices rising in your father's office." Jamal's stern voice could be heard.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Can't you see? I breathe joy," Eiji said sarcastically, smoke escaping his lips.

Jamal said nothing, just leaned on the railing beside him.

The two remained silent for a while, the only sounds were crickets and frogs in the distance. Jamal finally broke the silence.

"Did you tell him about the woman and the child?"

Eiji let out a laugh devoid of humor.

"My face would probably be covered in slap marks and bruises if I had. That bastard never wants to hear anything unless it's the full story, so what's the point?"

Jamal nodded.

"Hm... Can I ask you a question?" He glanced at Eiji's profile, lit by the glow of his cigarette.

"If you want."

"Why did you waste your time helping that kid yesterday?"

Eiji threw his cigarette away and met his gaze.

"That kid reminded me of Yuta," he said bluntly, making Jamal's eyes widen in surprise.

"Yuta? Akira's son?" he asked, needing confirmation.

Eiji looked up at the sky.

"Yes... I saw Yuta in his gaze. He had the same little flame in his eyes. If I hadn't helped him, it would have felt like abandoning Yuta again..." he admitted softly.

"I see... Boss, if I may, that night wasn't your fault." Jamal placed a hand on his shoulder in silent support.

"Stop torturing your mind," he said before leaving Eiji alone with his thoughts.

"Yeah... easier said than done..." Eiji murmured, watching the koi. One in particular caught his eye—a white one with a red spot, one of Yuta's favorites.

He remembered, the day before his death two years ago, standing on this same bridge with Yuta, feeding the koi. The boy had pointed out that same fish:

"Look, uncle! He's a thug because he keeps fighting the others!" He remembered the little hyena's snicker, the missing lower tooth, the brown hair fluttering in the wind.

That day, Eiji was supposed to keep him for the night. Everyone else was out, and Yuta stayed home because he was still sick, his little body weak. When evening came, Yuta begged for ramen and soda, and Eiji agreed.

But Yuta, still frail, stayed home with two of Eiji's trusted men... while Eiji went to the nearest konbini, more than 45 minutes away. That was the mistake that cost Yuta his life.

When Eiji returned, horror awaited him. The two men lay on the ground, lifeless, shot dead. Heart racing, he ran to Yuta's room—nothing.

He searched everywhere until he reached his own room. And there he saw what he would never recover from.

Yuta.
No.
Yuta's head. Decapitated. On his mattress. Blood splattered across the walls, the mattress, the tatami floor.

Eiji fell to his knees and let out a cry of agony that would have made even the devil weep.

When the family returned, they found him there, still on his knees, holding Yuta's head against his chest, blank stare, tears still flowing.

That night, blinded by fury and grief, Akira had beaten him almost to death. And for the first time, Eiji hadn't defended himself.

Since then, he had never forgiven himself. He searched, and he kept searching, for the one who had done it.

And the day he laid hands on the monster, a painful and long death would befall them.

Eiji had made that promise.

"Made by Lazulie"

Note: Engawa = wooden terrace or veranda that runs around the house. It serves as a transition between the interior and the garden and can be used for sitting, walking, or admiring the landscape. 

Okaa-San = Mom

Thank you for reading my story, hope you like it !.