The pair sit in silence, for minutes, Gertrude starts drawing again, the world around her fades. Ethan just watches her, intently, there’s a smile on his face, he checks the time on his phone, his face drops, but he doesn't tell Gertrude. The tears from earlier leave subtle marks on both of their faces. Everything around them is so green, the tree, the bushes, the rushes, it's all so beautiful, how has Ethan not noticed this before. Was it because he was too distracted by her making noises before now? No, no it wasn't, there’s something else.

“Hey Trudy?” Ethan breaks the silence, her hands drop, still clutching the notebook, but she isn't frightened, she’s not making any noises, her cheeks are tinted red, she tries to look at Ethan but cant, she looks down at the ground. “Thanks,” Ethan says, softly, the colour of his cheeks matching hers. Why do such simple words have such a great effect on her? The bell chimes in the background, loud enough to snap them out of their trance, “oh god…we’re going to be late for class” Gertrude says, frantically, dropping her notebook, hugging herself, her hands squeezing her arms. “Relax”, Ethan chuckles, “check the time”. Gertrude pulls her phone out, she begins making a clicking noise again, she looks at the time, class had just ended, they missed it, its lunch, how long were they out here for? Is she mad at him for not telling her? It's hard to tell. She's smiling, but does that smile still have any meaning to Ethan? Ethan’s stomach rumbles, “fuck” he thinks to himself, “its been so long since you’ve eaten anything, what if you pass out? Here, and you’re left with her, no witnesses, just the devil, then you’re really fucked, what can you do? Go get food? You don't want to leave, you don't want to move, you’d rather die out here than survive inside there, why? Why are you giving this girl so much power over you, that’s it isn't it”. Gertrude holds her open lunchbox out in front of Ethan, trembling, violently, her head shivers. Inside the lunchbox is a toasted baguette, cut in half, Ethan hesitates before picking it up, his hand slowly moves towards it, he’s sweating, why is he accepting this so easily? why isn't he putting up a fight? why is he so trusting of this girl, his hand makes contact with the sandwich, he pulls one half of it into his grasp, it's his now. She smiles, so does he, they’re both trembling why are they smiling? Not even they know the answer. 

Ethan takes a careful bite, for fear she wants its back, he is hit with an overwhelming mixture of flavours. Cream cheese, dill pickle, cucumbers, tomatoes…bird? He keeps eating, why? Is he that hungry? No, that's not quite it. Does he like it? His bites have gotten more frequent, messier, less careful, it's gone, she had barely taken a bite of her half when he had finished, after all he hadn't eaten since yesterday, what could you expect. She eats carefully, quietly, slowly. Each bite smaller than the last, seconds turn to minutes with each shaky bite she takes, eventually she dumps the end of the sandwich back in her empty lunchbox.

The bell rings to signify the start of the next class, they hear it this time. They make their way to the class making sure there's enough distance between them for plausible deniability. He sits in a seat away from her and pays absolutely zero attention to anything going on in the class, he has distracted himself by playing mockingbird by eminem on repeat in his head, he heard it hundreds of times before, it's as if he’s actually listening to it.  The class finishes in the middle of the 15th playing of the song in his head. He’s the first out of the classroom, he goes straight for the tree before anyone notices, he waits there for ten minutes, reading, she doesn't arrive, of course she doesn't.

She's on her way home, a pep in her step she hasn't had in years, it's so slight that she doesn't even notice it. As she walks through the street she stops and walks into a shop, ‘Murphy’s Quick Pick’, there's a lgbtq+ flag on one window and a Palestinian flag on the other as well as an old, degraded, portrait of Ronald Reagan sat looking out of the window in a gold frame. She walks in and picks a packet of pasta, a jar of bolognese sauce and a frozen garlic bread off the shelf. She walks up to the counter and awkwardly places her items in front of the cashier, the cashier smiles, “you seem to be in a good mood Trudy, I’m glad to see it, you haven't had that kind of bounce to your step since you were a kid”, Gertrude glances down nervously, the cashier laughs again, then hands her a brown bag with her items in it, “have a nice day”. Gertrude drops a ten dollar bill on the ground and leaves the shop with her bag. She walks for another five minutes, a slightly shorter time than it usually takes her, and arrives at the door of a bright red duplex. She enters the front door and walks straight to the end of the small hallway, into the kitchen. She boils a pot of hot water and places the spaghetti in it, while its boiling she pulls out her phone and scrolls reddit, she sees a post announcing a remaster of Elders Scrolls Iv:Oblivion is on the way and smiles, she gets up and mixes the bolognese sauce in with the pasta and puts the garlic bread in the toaster, when its all ready she puts it in a bowl and places it on the table in front of an empty seat. The front door swings open, a middle aged, slightly overweight woman walks in and sits in front of the bowl. “Oh Trudy you truly are the best…are you going to have anything for yourself?”, Gertrude nods, her foot nervously tapping against the ground, "I just finished my food while I was waiting for you, I ate what was left in the pot”. “You’re such a good girl Trudy,” the woman responds. “Thanks mom”, Gertrude says as she makes her way out of the kitchen, retiring to one of the few rooms in the house. She walks in to this compact room, a single bed and a desk with two monitors and a handful of electric devices plugged into them decorate the room, the room is littered with memorabilia: funko pops of various fictional characters, a wooden sword built to replicate guts’s black sword from Berserk, an Iron-Man helmet sat on its own on a shelf and a six tiered bookshelf that's topped with entire book series like discworld, the promised neverland and many other fantasy series, her walls are plastered with posters from Devil May Cry, Berserk, One Piece and Invincible as well as a map of Mordor and a wings of freedom flag. One of her monitors has Mahito Maki from The Boy And The Heron on it while the other has the cover art of Hollow Knight. She turns on the right monitor and goes straight to crunchyroll, she switches on Fire Force, it's been ages since she's watched an episode yet she’s gravitated to it. Shinra grins, that devilish grin, now she remembers, she drew shinra grinning this morning, why? She doesn't even know, she completely zoned out and it was just there. She watches intently, she forgot how good of a show it was, why does she rarely pick it up? It's been three hours now and she's still infatuated. She doesn't need to check on her mother, she knows she's passed out asleep at the kitchen table, she does it every evening. Season two now, she's still watching, it's two A.M, one more episode? No, she needs to sleep, she's got a busy day tomorrow, she has to wake up early to make the exact same sandwich as she did today, then she needs to get to school early. She curls up on her bed, clutching her blanket tightly to her chest, wearing the same clothes she wore at school, the ghost of a smile on her face as she drifts off to sleep.