Finally, I'm home. What's going on, what's wrong with me. Why can’t i do a fucking school project without breaking down.

“alexa , play southernplayalisticadillacmuzik by outkast”, Ethan says, before flopping onto his bed. “This peaches, coming back at ya one mo game” comes from his alexa.

What a fucking day. I was behind enemy lines all day, I deserve a mini pity party. Yesterday was fun though…wait, fuck I hurt her didnt I? God I wasn't even thinking about her. I'm such a dick. She was dripping blood because of me…I know not to get close but I still did it, selfishly. But she smiled, she smiled through pain. Is that because she was willing to deal with the pain? No, it wasn't was it, she’s just so used to it by now that its second nature, fuck sake. All I want is for her to be safe, to be happy. I’ve seen her room, she’s most happy when she's alone. I was wrong wasn’t I, wrong when I said she wanted a friend, she wants to be alone, she wants to be an outcast. But why,  who would want that, why does she smile when we talk, why did she show me that chinchilla habitat, the place where she can be alone, why is she letting me in there? Pity? Perhaps she's just too caring for me to fully grasp, that's it isn't it, she knows the amount of guilt I feel if i leave her to the wolves so she puts up with me, puts up with all the pain proximity to someone causes. I used her, I abused her kindness, I'm a horrible person. I put an ‘x’ on the end of that note too, what the fuck am i thinking, “oh love ya thanks for hurting yourself so I could get a good night sleep”, I’m a fucking idiot. 

Then, a banging noise starts in his head, boom, boom, boom, boom. He starts thinking to himself, “ah look at you, having a little pity party, that little saviour complex of your’s has gotten that girl into a spot of bother now hasn't it, your little unrequited best friend, yeah look at the clock mate, the music ended an hour ago, that albums an hour long, it’s 10:30 for fucks sake, you’ve got school in the morning…school, you know, that place where you fanny about sat under a tree while you slowly take years off that poor devils life, Miss Jackson is that what you called it, ooh guts, such an original name how did you come up with it, hahahaha pathetic, just for that I’m keeping you up all night, Trudy’s probably at her house, glad your gone. Sitting in peace, probably with one of those soft smiles you love so much, watching fire sols or whatever the fuck its called, thinking about how she still has another nine or so hours until she has to meet that pathetic loser under a tree, loser, you’re a fucking loser Ethan you always have been, you’re too used to getting walked on so now you make the devil girls life hell to make yourself feel better, you don’t want to be friends with any of those other pricks who cast her out so you’re forcing yourself into her life”

Meanwhile Trudy lays in bed, looking up at the ceiling. She holds her duvet tight to her chest, one hand clutching it the other placed gently on it’s surface, she falls asleep, peacefully. 

The clock hits 6:00 A.M and Ethan's thoughts still haven't stopped, with red eyes he jumps out of bed and mechanically makes his way towards the school, he goes to Miss Jackson, nobody is there, of course nobody’s there its 6:00 A.M

The clock strikes 6:45 A.M at Trudy’s house and she springs out of bed. She puts on her usual attire and skips out the door before hitting the outside air and slowing her walk. She reaches the school and heads straight toward Miss Jackson, “this idiot” she thinks to herself after arriving, “his head is right on an anthill”.