I take the bed on the right trying to ignore the golden Oaf.

“Don’t call me that Assface.” I say as I put my stuff away sorting out my things. 

I can feel his eyes continuing to look me up and down, yet I ignore it and unpack putting my clothes in a cheapass dresser the school provided.

The dorm is kinda cramped, the walls are cracked, the carpet dirty but the beds look soooo comfy. 

 After I'm done I sit down and pull out my sketch book and my small printed picture of me and my mom from years ago while he trains.

Whatever. 

I continue sketching for a few minutes then glance at him from the corner of my eye. I feel my face heat up. 

Ugh. I think I’m going crazy. I'm not gay. No. No. No. I grit my teeth and start to sketch again as I find myself drawing…Leo. 

I tried to erase it but I drew it in pen.

Shit.

I quickly hide it under a textbook hopefully to be hidden forever never to be seen by the world or anyone for that matter.

I look over at him trying to distract myself. 

What a dumbass. What sport does he even play? Base Soccer?--- Is that a sport? I shake my head.

I reach for my phone and open Google.

I search up something. “Am I gay???” My heart starts pounding against my ribs. As anxiety hits me like a tidal wave. 

My finger shakes as it hovers above the search button. I build the courage and press it.

A whole bunch of website links saying “am i gay test” or “gay test” I reluctantly press on the top one and answer the questions… 

Do you find the opposite gender attractive?

I…I mean I did think Leo looked kinda…hot 

B… but that's normal!…right?

I shake my head and click ‘sometimes’

Then move to the next question.

Would you kiss the opposite gender? 

I look at Leo and bite my lip imagining what kissing him would be like.

I click…’yes’

It turns to a loading screen.

I turn my phone off, nervous about the results.

My leg starts shaking uncontrollably.

I check over at Leo to see if he notices.

luckily he doesn't.

I found the courage to check the results and open my phone to check the results. 

I freeze at the number 

Ninety. Fucking. Eight

My face flushes and my chest tightens. 

I’m…I’m gay. 

I start shaking. 

Holy shit. 

My mind starts racing.

I–If anybody finds out they'll make fun of me.

I quickly grab my headphones and turn on my music so the quiet doesn't eat me alive. It's so loud it screams. I fall asleep once again the bitter silence envelopes me. I drift off into my peaceful sleep. Once again I'm in my quiet place.