“Hi, Lan!”.

It wasn’t just Mayl. It was a group call with Dex and Yai as well. It took her by surprise, but she sure was happy for turning the camera off. Dex would probably have made a mocking comment. What she didn’t like though is how everyone called her by her deadname, but again, she tried to let it go.

“Hi everybody. What’s up?”, asked the girl casually.

“We… wait, aren’t you turning the camera on?”, asked Mayl.

“Oh, well, uhm!”, exclaimed the girl nervously while playing with her hair. And precisely that made her come up with an excuse. “Just… My hair! I slept a bit before and… it looks so different now!”.

She wasn’t lying: her hair looked so different, but that made her much happier than what her friends could think about. Or maybe not all her friends.

“Who cares about your hair?”, asked Dex abruptly. “Come on, Mega vs GutsMan! Let’s do it!”.

“Well, I do care!”, thought the girl for a brief moment. She was about to say it, but refrained herself from doing so, laughing sarcastically instead.

“Don’t say that!”, nagged Mayl to Dex. “Don’t worry, Lan. I know how bad bed hair can look”.

It was incredible how Mayl could always comfort the girl. She felt a bit bad for not telling her friend everything, but that was not the time to do it.

“So what do you want?”, asked the girl.

“Oh, yeah. We are gonna explore the Net with Roll, Glide and Guts. Wanna come?”, invited Yai.

“Sure! I’m free right now!”, answered the girl with enthusiasm. “I just finished my homework, I have some time”.

“YOU WHAT!”.

Everybody’s combined scream was so loud that pushed the girl back a little bit. ‘Surprise’ was not enough to describe the expression in the faces of all the other kids.

“You finished your homework? Already?”, asked Mayl surprised.

“Yo, man! You’re gonna make me look bad tomorrow!”, complained Dex, a clear indication that he was not planning of finishing his homework anytime soon.

The girl frowned a bit. Of course everybody was surprised at her new studying routine, that was not the problem. But being specifically referred as ‘man’ was very frustrating. She tried to come up with an answer, but was interrupted by Yai who said:

“Maybe YOU should put more effort if you don’t want to look bad! Don’t listen to him, Lan. I’m glad to see you’re taking your studies more seriously. Good job!”.

The girl expected Dex to mock her in some way, and although it was not intentional or very ‘mocking’, his words were rude. Maybe her friend doesn’t think she can change in one way or another? However, having Mayl and Yai defending her for caring about herself and putting more effort into her studies felt comforting. She didn’t know yet if they would accept her as a trans girl in the future, but that brief interaction gave her just a bit of hope.

After that, the whole group, along with their Navis, began their Net outing. They visited a hub area that served as some sort of gathering point, with information stands, stores and activities. At first, the girl felt she could relax around her friends, but that changed rather quickly when Mayl and Yai decided to visit an accessories store site. Without asking, GutsMan took Mega Man, forcing the girl to follow Dex to check a screen that was showing Netbattling. The boy could only talk about the battlechips used and the strategies. Sure, she found that interesting, but she couldn’t help but look at the other two girls’ screens. They sure were having fun, talking about some ribbons and how they combined with some skirts they had at home. Deep inside, for one moment, she wished to leave Dex alone and join the girls. Mega Man, being the only one who could actually see the girl’s face, noticed her sadness. At that moment, she felt a bit isolated from everybody, the same feeling she had every day at school, the same situation happening even on the Net.

Without nobody noticing, an hour passed since they began their outing. Each kid having their own things to do, they decided to call it a day, promising to meet again the next day at school. Dex and Yai were the first ones to finish the call, but Mayl remained a bit longer.

“That was fun, right?”, asked Mayl.

“Sure! Sure…”, repeated the girl, although her voice sounded sadder the second time she said it.

That didn’t went unnoticed for Mayl, her expression turning worried by the second.

“Hey, are you ok, Lan?”, asked Mayl.

“What? Yeah, sure! Why do you ask?”, asked the girl a bit surprised.

“Well, it’s just… You looked sad at school. I’ve noticed for a while”, explained Mayl with sad voice. “I thought doing something together would cheer you up. It didn’t work though”.

The girl was truly shocked by her friend’s words. It was the first time that someone out of her family had noticed her problems. And it was precisely Mayl, her best friend, the one she really cared about. For a brief moment, she wanted to tell her the truth. She wanted to turn the camera on and show her true self. She could feel the words gathering in her throat, forming a ball that wanted to come out… but she couldn’t. She wasn’t ready yet. The fear of her best friend not believing her was too much at that moment. She still needed more courage to take that step. Instead, she giggled nervously and said:

“No, really, I’m fine! It’s just…”.

She could feel it. There was a gap, a wall forming between both of them. She felt something that stopped her from getting closer to her friend. But she wanted to overcome that, even if it was just a bit. At that moment, she remember Mayl and Yai’s conversation on the accessories store site. There was something she would have liked to say back then. She gathered the little courage she had and said:

“I think… the white ribbon would look great on you. It matches your red hair”.

That time, it was Mayl who turned very surprised hearing her friend’s advice. She didn’t expect the girl to hear their conversation, but also knowing about such a topic. However, she felt shy and began fidgeting.

“You… were listening?”, muttered Mayl nervously. Slowly, her expression turned more gentle with a slight smile and said: “Thank you”.

Feeling a bit ashamed, Mayl ended up the call, leaving the girl all alone in her room. Her camera had been off all that time, but she still waited for her friend to log off before turning sadder.

“I’m tired…”.

Hearing her murmuring, Mega Man looked at her worried.

“Are you ok?”, asked Mega Man.

“No, I’m tired!”, repeated the girl, this time louder and with some tears in her eyes. “I want to join them! I like clothing and accessories! I want to talk to them about that! I want to hang out with them as a girl! I’m tired of hiding who I am!”.

Could anybody feel frustrated and comforted at the same time? Because the girl sure was. She was frustrated for hiding her true self to others, but precisely, letting out that frustration, having someone to hear her pain felt comforting. Mega Man knew she had those feelings from observing her everyday at school. He was worried about his sister, sure, but she was also happy. She needed to let out her worries. If she held them back just like in the past, that pain would grow eventually. Knowing what her problems were, the Navi and brother could find the words to comfort her.

“You will. One day, you’ll be able to do all those things. Give yourself some time to get ready”, said Mega Man.

“I know! I know…”, replied the girl while sobbing. “It’s just… I want to be with them… I want to…”.

‘Connect’.

She was just about to say that word. ‘Connect’. Where did she hear that word? Slowly, that conversation came back to her mind. After telling her parents she wanted to change her name, her father told her the origins of her deadname. ‘Technology that connects people’. At that moment, she didn’t understood how that could be important. But at that moment, she saw it so clearly. She really wanted to be with her friends again, but as her true self, as the girl she was. She wanted to connect with them. She also remembered what her therapist said: “It’s one of the first ways of showing who we are to the world”. That thought made her feeling something intense inside.

“I… I know who I am”, said the girl, with her brother looking at her confused. However, her voice was full of determination. “I am a girl who wants to connect to others. And I want everybody to know that, beginning with my name! Mega, can you call dad, please?”.

Even if he was confused at first, Mega Man understood what his sister tried to say. He quickly jumped through different pop-up menus to call Yuichiro, who answered almost instantly.

“Hi, dear! Everything ok?”, asked Yuichiro casually.

“Hi, dad! Actually… you said you made a list with boy names. Did you make a list with girl names as well?”.

It took a few seconds for Yuichiro to understand what his daughter meant. But as soon as he did, he smiled gently.

“I thought you might want it. I’m sending it to Mega right now. But remember: only choose one you really like”, explained Yuichiro.

A few seconds later, a new mail arrived to the PC. Mega Man opened it quickly, showing a simple text file with a list of names. Still on the call with her dad, the girl began exploring the list. Some names were a bit strange, very technological. She began to doubt why her dad made that kind of list in the first place. She was about to give up… until she saw it.

It was a short name. She didn’t know what it meant, but there was something feminine about it. Maybe how it sounded? That name caught her attention even more than the names she had already researched in the past.

“Hey, dad. What does this one mean?”, asked the girl while highlighting the name and showing it to Yuichiro.

“Let me see… Ah, yes”, exclaimed Yuichiro happily. “Back in the day, network worked through phone cables. At that time, you couldn’t even use a camera to talk to each other on the net. Your PC had to be connected to a phone cable to connect to the net”.

A time with no cameras. Just like in her previous conversation with her friends. At that moment, she felt better because she didn’t have to use her ‘boy disguise’. She was still herself, even though they couldn’t see with no camera on. Just like a phone call, she was able to share something with Mayl. Even though she was not ready to come out, even though she was not ready to show her true self… there was still a way to connect to others, little by little, until she was ready for that big step. And that name reflected all that.

“Hey, dad… I think I want to try this one!”.

…

Crowded streets. Big screens with colorful adds. People buying here and there. That was Elec Town, the most popular area in Net City. The gathering point for buying anything. And far from what its name may indicate, it was not just a place filled with technology. Thousands of stores provided their customers all kinds of experiences, like books, toys, sweets and clothing. Being a Saturday afternoon, it was normal that everybody wanted to go there to enjoy a great weekend day with family or friends and the Hikaris were no different. Yuichiro and Haruka walked together down one street, holding some bags with their hands.

“I don’t remember ever buying her so many outfits. It was so hard to get her shopping before”, said Haruka with joking tone.

“That’s normal, she didn’t like what she had to wear before”, reasoned Yuichiro.

While they were talking about their daughter, Haruka stopped in front of a fashion store with a pretty dress with flower pattern.

“Oh, this is so cute! Don’t you think, sweetie?”, asked Haruka.

There was no answer though. The couple looked around them, but they couldn’t find their child.

“Where did she go?”, asked Yuichiro confused.

“Oh, there she is!”, exclaimed Haruka with a snarky smile. “She’s still looking at that store window. She really has an eye for fashion! Hey, Dial, don’t fall behind!”.

Haruka screamed that out loud with all naturalness. A few meters away from them, both parents could hear:

“Yeah, I’m coming!”.

From among the crowd, a small figure approached them running. She was wearing a red skirt with white dots, a white t-shirt with some frills on the edge and brown shoes. A big red ribbon decorated her hair, which had some braids by her sides. The girl ran towards her parents, smiling happily. It was the most fun that girl had in ages with them. Mother and daughter observed the dress on the store, throwing compliments about it, before the family continued their outing towards the restaurant. In the end, that was an important day to celebrate.

It was the day Dial Hikari jacked into the world for the first time.