FIVE

—

Barry arrives, in possibly the smallest car I’ve ever laid eyes on. I know that vehicles in Europe were, on average, a lot smaller, but I was expecting four doors at least for a group of boys. I couldn’t picture how Barry himself, with those biceps, didn’t just occupy the whole thing. 

Nico and Lex play rock, paper, scissors for shotgun, Nico losing. So after Barry takes my bag to add it to the “trunk” — I can’t see where the trunk could exist but I take his word for it — Lex folds down the front passenger seat, and the rest of us crawl in, packing ourselves tight in the back.

Nico, myself and Mikey are pressed shoulder to shoulder by the time Barry and Lex get in. I am going to have to get real comfortable with these boys very fast, aren’t I? First day meeting someone isn’t usually the time you become familiar with how they smell… With that thought, I realize that if I can smell them, they can smell me, and I sink into my seat and tighten my jacket around me self-consciously.

Barry clasps hands tightly with each of the boys one by one when we’ve all settled, greeting them like they were dearly missed friends despite him seeing them only recently from what I could gather. Finally, he claps a big hand on my knee from over the center console, and sets the car into drive, saying to me cheekily through the rear view mirror, “You see, small friend of Natalie. I find you three friends,” and winks.

I sink further into my jacket to hide the violent blush that threatened to appear on my cheeks.

Once Barry gets on the road, Mikey gives a relieved sigh, and before I can appreciate the gravity of the reveal, his face is uncovered. “It’s so damn hard to breathe in those things during the summer.”

He has a sharp, straight nose and a smile that’s too big for his face, toothy and wild like a cheshire cat. Even his teeth, a bit crooked and crowded, emphasized his catlike features, his canines a bit higher than the rest of them. 

I can’t help but remove my mask also, so he can see my grin. I was not expecting to see their faces at all. In response, he shifts and puts an arm behind me across the seat bench, ruffling a gloved hand in my hair playfully. 

Nico follows suit, and I take a moment to appreciate his full, flushed cheeks and his slightly too large front teeth, just like the rodent I’d compared him to previously. With the freedom to breathe easier, he hums and settles down in his chair for a nap. 

It’s too obvious my anticipation when I turn my attention to the passenger seat. But Lex was still masked, and caught me waiting, his eyes glinting with a smirk.

Mikey leans closer to me to explain, like it was intended to be a secret, but says it loud enough for everyone to hear. “Lex is shy.”

I suppress a coy grin, choosing to go along with Mikey’s teasing. “You have a gnarly scar you’re hiding? Grossly deformed?” 

“Stunningly handsome. I’d blind you all,” Lex corrects, and Mikey cackles. There was the hyena laugh. Lex is grinning under his mask, and holds my gaze until I can’t stand it anymore and roll my eyes. 

We still have a bit of a drive, so we all agree to try and nap. I settle into my seat between the two boys, thinking I’ll get little more than a snooze, but it feels like just a few moments later and I find myself waking to Barry turning onto a dirt road, my cheek squished against Nico’s shoulder. 

When Mikey wakes, he yawns and blinks, stretching out his limbs as best he can in the small space. “Not much further now.” 

I watch out the window with him, and he points out some landmarks that we pass, telling me what grew in each field, spotting deer between the trees as the woods become more dense. Then, as it’s clear we're closing in on our destination, he identifies a last house. “There’s an old man that lives here. He houses Stalkers sometimes. Great guy, if anyone ever gets in trouble, he’s the place to go. Don’t know how much longer he has doing this stuff, though.” 

The note he leaves on is somber, so I offer to change the subject with the curiosity that they never answered before. “How long have you been doing this?” 

“It’s been a while now. Starting going with Nico back in 2016. Been doing guided trips since 2017. Pays the bills, keeps me out of a nine to five. Things got a bit hard there for a while with the pandemic but business is back these days.”

“And, Lex?” This time, I do lower my voice, because I want a truth.

Mikey smirks, and follows suit with a whisper. “He’s not here for the money, though it’s a perk. Lex just… doesn’t belong anywhere else. I guess kinda like us. He’s waiting for someone, then he plans to go back to Romania, last I remember.”

I hum, but it’s not the answer I expect and just leads to more curiosity. 

“Alright my friends, make yourselves disappear,” Barry says finally, as we pull up to the outskirts of a forest, a good kilometer past the old man’s house. I thank him on behalf of everyone, but am hurried out of the car by Nico, who helps me with a hand on my elbow. Lex is emptying the trunk, and when it’s my turn to take my bag, he drops it into my arms to see me struggle with catching the weight of it. I glare, and I can tell he’s laughing at me. 

Once the rucksack is on my back and buckled around my body, it’s a bit more manageable. Only a bit though, it’s still weight I’m not used to and I can already sense the burn my legs were going to be experiencing in twenty minutes. I don’t complain though. That would give Lex way too much satisfaction for my liking. 

We head for the trees, and behind us Barry is already driving away, the car’s tires kicking up dirt as he accelerates. While I watch the car disappear through the densening trees, Lex’s previous teasing settles into my stomach with dread; now it really was too late to bail. I was alone in the Ukrainian wilderness with these three boys for four nights now before we would see proper civilization again. 

“Let’s hit the road, we’ve only got so much sunlight left today,” Mikey calls from a few paces ahead of us, facetiously, as there wasn’t exactly a road to ‘hit’. He reminds me of the Guides at Chernobyl, likely the intention, clapping his hands together encouragingly to get us all moving again. Nico and Lex follow, but I hang back to snap a shot of them all from behind. Lex looks over his shoulder as I take the picture, and I can’t help but sigh at the perfect moment I captured, hurrying to catch up with them and giving Lex a cheeky look as I pass him. 

If I could catch him like that, I could catch him without a mask. After all, he had to eat and drink, and sleep at some point, right? I set that as a secret goal, tucking it away into the privacy of the corners of my mind, just for myself. 

From that point forward, he stays at my flank. 

None of us talk much, besides Mikey giving updates and discussing routes with Nico on occasion. It’s easier to conserve energy without all the banter, of course. So instead, I focus on my own breathing and rhythm of my pace, and try to appreciate as the smell of civilization – the dirt and concrete and asphalt and sweat – dissipates into the scents of the wilderness. The forest is woody and fragrant, but the trees are foreign breeds and smell slightly off from the woods I’m familiar with. The mossy ground below our feet is like a sponge, releasing a musky, natural aroma with each of our steps.

We haven’t walked that far before the trees are more sparsely separated, and the forest floor becomes easier to traverse. My legs are thankful, because they’re already protesting with all the roots and rocks we had to avoid when we weren’t as deep in. 

I hope we’ve gotten through at least two of the almost six miles we had to walk to the river, the first stop they’d quoted to me. I’m sweating, but the moisture wicking feature of the thermal clothes is helping to keep me dry and cool despite the heat. 

We reach an overgrown path that we follow for a while, until the first sign of where we were headed appears. An actual sign, crooked on its post, dirty and worn with decades of neglect. A yellow triangle of warning, dawning the distinct, international symbol for radiation.