SEVEN

–

When I wake, the sky is burnt orange, the sun growing even more fiery as it sinks closer to the horizon. It takes a long time to even compute where I am, only realizing when a chill sweeps my body and I grab to adjust my blanket, not feeling a cotton duvet like usual, but instead, the slippery textile of a sleeping bag. 

I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes, finally coming to. My jacket is still around my torso, but my sleeping bag has been unzipped and draped across my lower half. Before I can ask, my question is answered.

“It was getting a bit colder, we didn’t want you to freeze.” Mikey speaks through a full mouth of food, barely waiting to finish his words before shoveling another spoonful in. 

“Thanks,” I manage, the sleep still in my throat and making my words sound crooked and almost sarcastic. All three of them chuckle a little at my prickliness, and I let them because I can’t be bothered to apologize. 

I dig for my clothes instead, sufficiently dry and wanting to be covered from the cool breeze blowing in, like the rest of them. They weren’t where I left them though, and when I turn to accuse the boys of messing with me, Lex cuts me off.

“We put them out so they wouldn’t be sweaty.” He rises and crosses back towards the water, retrieving my clothes from a large stone on the bank and bringing them to me. 

I swallow down that previous lick of unwarranted frustration and manage a slightly more pleasant tone this time. “Thank you.” Still, I avoid looking at Lex, because I couldn’t handle any of his smugness 

“Thank you,” Nico quotes me, changing the emphasis of my words slightly, and Mikey snorts, nearly choking on his dinner. I’m far too groggy to fight my embarrassment. I focus on clothing myself again so they don’t see me turning vermillion. 

“There’s water boiled for you also,” Lex adds, and I can almost hear him smirking along with the other boys. But he leaves it at that, and takes his spot again, laying back on a folded arm. 

It’s not just their teasing. It’s that I was the last one awake. That they babied me while I was out. That I allowed myself to be so vulnerable for so long. I feel itchy with annoyance at myself. But mostly, I’m mad that I missed the first opportunity to see that mask removed.

Had he ate right there with the others, without it hiding his face? If I had woken just a few minutes sooner, would I have caught a glimpse? The question gnaws at me. 

Once I’m covered in black again, I dig back into my bag and retrieve a couple of packets of food, inspecting the labels. Mikey gestures immediately, but his mouth is too full to make any noise. Nico seems to know exactly what he’s trying to say though, and starts an argument in Ukrainian that sounds a lot like the bickering happening between them in the camping outlet back in Kyiv.

While they dive into another debate about their preferences, I lean closer to Lex and hold out one of them timidly. “What’s this one?”

He arches an eyebrow, like he’s shocked I’m even speaking to him, and I desperately resist rolling my eyes. He humors me, sitting up to take the package and read it, then hands it back. “Curry chicken and rice.”

I nod a thanks, deciding the carbs would be good on my severely empty stomach. I put away the rest of the packets, then open the chosen one and add the hot water to let it cook.

I occupy myself with my phone, checking it for the first time that day, and see it’s closing in on eight o’clock. We likely had about another hour of sunlight before it would be pitch black out here. Then what? Would we be walking in the dark now? I don’t dare ask, not mentally prepared for the answer. So I grab my food and mix it with the provided wooden spork until I feel like it’s softened enough to eat, and fill my stomach with a few big bites first, then pose the question. “What’s the schedule?”

Mikey doesn’t answer right away, assessing me instead. It’s too obvious how worn out I am already. I have to know though, so he inhales deep and lays it on me. “We should really try to get to the village tonight. It’s about eighteen kilometers. There’s a road we’ll follow most of the way, so that should help our pace. It’s dangerous, though.”

I keep eating so that I have an excuse not to emote.

So, he continues, “There’s security from here forward. It’s best to make this hike at night, we can still take the road and security will have a harder time seeing us. We’ll have to go with only red lights for a while though, because the regular flashlights will be a dead giveaway. We’ll see security before they see us this way.”

I offer a nod to show I’m following, but the food is sitting weird in my stomach and making me feel ill. Or, it’s just the dread settling in again.

Mikey adds a final warning, like ripping off a bandaid. “Pepper spray in your pocket. Mask on. If something happens, just run. Try to get to the forest, or the river. We’ll find you. OK?”

I swallow a bite that’s mostly air, going down rough, and force a nod.

After a dreadful second of silence, Lex asks gently, “You still up for it, Vulpiță?”

I scowl at him. “Of course I am.” I absolutely hadn’t just swam in an irradiated river for nothing. I barely hold down my sick with my protest, though. 

I hear him chuckle before rising again from his spot and planting a palm on my head while passing, giving it a solid shake. It helps to rattle my determination back into place. “Good,” he says, and walks off for an after-dinner stroll. 

I grumble once he’s gone, stabbing my food. “What is that stupid name he keeps calling me, anyway? It’s infuriating.”

I didn’t mean to ask so loudly, but Mikey and Nico hear me anyway. Mikey smirks, and Nico answers. “Little Fox.”

I blink, my frustration sinking away into a hot wave of realization. “He’s not making fun of me?” Suddenly, I’m mortified with my behavior.

“Your name, Voss. It’s fox, in German.” Mikey grins, like he’s in on a secret. “It’s an endearment.” 

Nico nods along. “He likes you.”

“Which is more than we can say for most,” Mikey adds, giving Nico a knowing look and making the larger boy giggle. 

I stretch a little to look past the tall grass and spot Lex, reassessing each interaction over again. Even without the nickname, he’d been intentionally instigating. But, so have I now, to be fair.

Next time he says it, I’ll try not to get irritated, I promise to myself.

They allow me about thirty minutes to digest my food before we begin packing up to leave. The sun has started setting quickly, the burning skyline sinking to a midnight blue as we get to hiking again. We find the road that Mikey mentioned rather quickly, and just as he said, the flatter ground helps with our pace. We still have three times the distance to walk now though, and I am already exhausted.

The shift in the air is noticeable, and stifling. We walk in silence, Mikey and Nico not even bantering this time. There is no energy to spare anymore, and what little we have left, needs to be put towards keeping our eyes and ears open for other noises, not our own. I couldn’t help but notice my heart and it’s extra beat, not from the physical activity but from the distinct sensation of knowing we’re being hunted.

We walk until it’s so dark it’s impossible to see a foot in front of us, then the boys finally take out their red head lights. It barely makes a difference, but Lex closes the gap between us so his light can help me watch my steps. While we trek, I take another picture, but it’s nothing but black and squiggles of red light due to the long exposure. About as much as I can see with my naked eye. 

I try not to think about how late it is or how far we’ve gone. By the height of the moon in the sky though, I can tell it’s at least closing in on midnight. If we could make it, Mikey said we’d likely get to the village around 1 AM, and I really wonder if we’ve been walking almost four hours now, or if I was just fooling myself with how badly I needed to be done for the night. 

A wolf howl pulls me from deep in my head, and I freeze, Lex’s chest hitting my rucksack before he can stop himself. His hands take my shoulders and encourage me forward. When he speaks, it’s careful and low. “The wolves won’t bother us. They’re well fed in Chernobyl. Besides, that’s what the pepper spray is good for.” Once I’m back to pace again, he walks beside me and adds, “There are other predators now that we’re in the Exclusion Zone.”

I let out a breath, meant to be a bit of a laugh, though his seriousness falters me. “Security are predators?”

“Stalkers,” he corrects, and I fumble a step. It’s his turn to exhale through his nose as a laugh. “Did you think we would be the only ones?”

Yes, actually. I didn’t consider that other people would be making this journey in tandem with us. Other people who didn’t care about breaking the law. Who might not care about breaking other laws. Did Stalkers who were willing to rob really exist? Willing to hurt? Kill? Or, worse? As a girl, I’ve been sheltered, and luckily, always looked out for. But I’m still girl enough to have concerns the other boys might not consider. To know that I’m a target sometimes, when others are not.

It’s like my thoughts are sirens though, and Lex can hear them loud and clear. I can barely see his eyes, but I catch his eyebrows as they come together with a look, then, he gives a quick whistle, muted behind his mask and a palm. “Mikey.”

“Da.” Mikey calls back, a whisper yell.

“We’re four boys now. No more gender jokes.” He doesn’t look at me, so he can’t see me gawking, not that he’d be able to make out much of my expression through the darkness. 

Mikey doesn’t seem to compute right away, then, “Da.” The inflection on the word changes, reflecting the somber understanding he’d found. 

Lex keeps walking like it was nothing, but I can’t. I stop, and grab his elbow, forcing him to pause with me. When I look up at him he’s bathed in red from the light on his forehead, but from this close I can see his face more clearly, and he can see mine. I give him eye contact, and my genuine gratitude. “Thank you, Lex.”

He blinks, then can’t hold my gaze anymore. But, as he slips his limb from my grip, our fingers graze just before I release him, and he pauses again. He adds, “Put your hair up,” before continuing forward after the other boys.

I can’t even linger long enough in that moment to process it, because I have to keep pace with him just to avoid tripping on my own feet. Instead, I do as he instructs, digging in my jacket pocket for the hat he picked, and twisting my hair up into it.