Shihwan knocked on Insu’s door. 

And when he didn’t get a response, he knocked again.

He stood patiently. He knew the passkey to Insu’s apartment, but it didn’t seem like the moment to use it.

It wasn’t as though Insu and he had never fought before, and it certainly wasn’t the first time Insu was mad at him, but there was something different this time.

They had kissed, a secret that Insu had held close had been unexpectedly revealed, and perhaps the most important of all to Shihwan, he felt a tenseness he had never felt before, as though just a slight bit of pressure would make something within him snap.

He could recognize some of the feelings—hurt because Insu had kept something so important about himself from him, jealousy of some unknown guy who had taken his heart, and confusion as to why he was beginning to feel afraid.

Shihwan sighed as he rubbed his face.

If he just barged in now, he knew that he would demand Insu answer for everything. But he knew Insu—Insu would shut him down and refuse to speak to him. And who knew how long that would last.

He was growing tired of this distance.

And he was feeling anxious.

Taking a deep breath, Shihwan knocked again. And then once more, before he heard a soft curse on the other side of the door.

His body tensed up in anticipation.

The door opened, and Insu glared up at him. His hair was up in a bun, the baby hairs around his face were wet and plastered to his skin, and a small towel hung around his shoulders.

“Were you washing your face?” Shihwan asked inanely. 

Insu stared at him for a moment before sighing and stepping aside to let him in.

Shihwan felt the tension leave his shoulders as he walked into Insu’s apartment. A familiar scent wafted around him.

“Why are you just standing there?” asked Insu curtly. “Sit.”

Shihwan sat down on the couch and turned to Insu sheepishly, but did not speak.

Insu rubbed his eyes, then sighed. “Are you going to talk or just sit there all night?” he asked.

Shihwan looked at him. He wasn’t sure where to start. He had bolted out of the club, grabbed the nearest taxi, and run up the steps to Insu’s apartment. His body had brought him here in a hurry.

But his mind still hadn’t caught up.

“Well?” said Insu. His tone was terse and irritable, but upon closer inspection, Shihwan could see the subtle sway of his body, the tightness around his lips, and a single line between Insu’s brow. Insu was nervous.

And for some reason, that helped him figure out what to say first.

“Insu. Are you… in love with someone?” He then grimaced. That wasn’t what he had planned to say. The thought had just popped into his head. And he found that he simply had to know right then and there. “Who?”

Insu stared at him for a long moment before rubbing his temple as though the whole situation was a pain.

He released a soft, disbelieving laugh. “Why do you need to know?”

He’s not denying it.

Shihwan felt something in his chest clench painfully. And some small part of him grew unusually irritable. Why couldn’t Insu just talk to him?
“Why were you pretending to be someone else in Atrium? Were you waiting for that guy? Or were you planning to find someone to get over your unrequited feelings?”

Shihwan nearly grimaced. Dammit. He hadn’t meant to say any of that either.

Insu was quiet for a long moment, but Shihwan could tell by the tenseness in his shoulders that he was furious.

“Isn’t that why you kissed me?” Insu replied, his voice dangerously low.

Shihwan gulped. “What?”

“A rebound… That’s what you made me that day that pup rejected you.”

What? He couldn’t deny that Boram had been on his mind that day. After all, he had been the primary reason Shihwan had drunk so much, but kissing Insu had been because… What? What exactly was the reason I kissed Insu?
“No, that wasn’t why—”

“Then what was?”

Shihwan looked up and met Insu’s eyes. He looked a little bit dejected, a little bit tired, a little bit worn. It could have been because it was almost 2AM and they had just come from a bustling club, but for some reason, Shihwan knew that those weren’t the real cause.

Shihwan shook his head. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. His body had moved that night on its own, and before he knew it, they had been kissing. “Insu, I—-”

The sound of a text message popping up made them both pause. Shihwan turned to see Insu’s phone lighting up and suddenly felt tense. Who would text him at this time?

Insu bent down to pick up the phone, and Shihwan caught a glimpse of smooth flesh beneath his shirt. And for some reason, that made him feel even more unsettled.

Then JoonSeo’s last words popped into his head, and Shihwan’s mind wandered to the lingerie. And he wondered if Insu had worn it for that man—the guy he was in love with.

Had Insu gone to the club to meet him?

He really didn’t know anything…

Then, before Shihwan knew it, he gently grabbed Insu by the wrist.

Surprised, Insu looked up.

“Don’t respond,” Shihwan said.

Insu’s brows scrunched up in confusion. “What?”

“Don’t reply. Don’t talk to him.”

“What—Who?”

Shihwan didn’t get it, didn’t know why he was doing this. All he knew was that he couldn’t let Insu go… he didn't want to.

“Hey!” said Insu, suddenly. “You feel warm.” He dropped his phone, took a step forward, and placed his hand on Shihwan’s forehead.

For a moment, Shihwan simply watched as Insu fussed over him, his eyes unwilling to look away. Then Shihwan felt his body relax in relief. 

He placed his hand over Insu’s, which now rested on his cheek.

Insu met his gaze. His eyes widened, and he tried to pull his hand back, but Shihwan did not budge.

“Insu—”

“Stop looking at me with those puppy-dog eyes,” said Insu softly. “It’s shit like this that keeps making me confused.”

Shihwan blinked. “What?” He didn’t understand. He had been confusing Insu? About what?

Insu tugged at his hand once more, and this time, Shihwan conceded.

Suddenly, a ringing sound came from Shihwan’s pocket. Shihwan made no move to get it. He knew who it was. He had left Boram at the club with only a single text telling him that he had to leave. He knew that he should pick it up and at least reassure him that nothing was wrong.

But he didn’t. Because this was more important. Insu was more important.

He stared into Insu’s eyes for a moment longer. But the ringing continued.

Insu sighed. “You should pick that up,” he said. “You probably ran out without letting the puppy know.”

There was a tired look in his eyes that made Shihwan pause. Insu looked like he had given up.

Shihwan felt his body heat up with a strange warmth, and an unusual buzzing formed in his head and extremities. He could almost hear the blood pound in his veins.

The ringing continued from his pocket.

Insu sighed once more, then gave him a small smile. “You’ve always been weirdly stubborn at times like these.” He then closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

When Insu opened his eyes and looked at him, Shihwan found himself staring.

He had always thought that Insu was beautiful, but there was something about Insu’s face that appealed to him that even the most breathtaking of things could not.

"I’ll tell you why I was at that club…”

Shihwan froze.

“You said it would be great if you could fall in love with me—”

Insu smiled, but it did not reach his eyes.

What?

Badump. Badump.

His smile faded as he met his eyes. “Well... I think it would be great if I could fall out of love with you."

.