The clock's ticking was eating him alive.

Leo looked away from his notes, dropped his pen with a groan, and glanced at the old wooden clock on the wall.

Ten PM.

He slapped his cheeks hard, trying to stay awake. Falling asleep on a Friday night — pathetic. He turned back to the historical novel on his desk. Over a thousand pages. He was on 653.

What a Friday night.

He picked up his phone. Two new messages in the group chat with Jared and North. Probably about the pheromone party they were at right now. He opened it, two photos, nothing that interested him. North had left a comment trying to get a reaction out of him. If he only knew what actually got to Leo, he'd have nothing to say.

He noticed, with a small pang, that there were no photos of Jared.

Should he write in the group? Ask what they were up to?

"God, you're such an idiot," his inner voice offered helpfully.

The first photo showed a young woman's bare chest, covered in hickeys. He felt the bitter edge of envy. Had that been Jared? Whoever it was, that answered his question pretty clearly.

North had come of age a few weeks ago and had been the first one begging Jared for tickets. It was an elite event, the kind most people never got near. Leo was almost certain North had taken some kind of rut inducer to go. He just hoped Jared hadn't. It could be dangerous. His ruts ran strong, Jared had told him that himself.

He was about to type in the group when a private message from North killed the impulse instantly:

Leo you're not going to believe it. Clara is at the party.

Clara. The most popular omega at school, a dominant beauty who had every alpha losing their mind. Except for Jared, none of them had ever dared approach her. Her family moved in high political circles, and nobody wanted to test the pheromones of a dominant omega.

Leo stared at the message. What was he supposed to say? That he hoped she choked? That didn't seem appropriate, even between friends.

He cursed under his breath.

Then, with trembling hands, he typed something as pathetic as he felt:

I didn't know Clara went to those parties. If she's in heat, Jared hit the jackpot I'm going to keep studying, tell me about it later

He turned off his phone.

His mind, always ready to torture him, started producing images. He thought about the hickeys in the photo and wondered what it would feel like if Jared did the same to him.

He looked down at his chest without thinking. Firm, broad, he trained obsessively and it showed. He lifted his shirt and touched his nipples lightly. His areolas were smaller than the girl's in the photo, but his nipples were pink. A familiar heat pulled low in his gut, and without thinking his right hand moved to his groin, feeling himself harden. He pulled away, angry at himself.

He hadn't even let himself look at Jared in the showers. They trained together, everyone showered after, except Leo, who always managed to go before or after Jared. A prisoner to the fear of what his own body would do.

He'd watched him a thousand times, in every other way. But he'd never allowed situations where he might lose control. It had been years since he'd slept over at Jared's. He didn't let Jared stay at his place either.

I should go to a pheromone party once classes end. At one of those parties he could suggest a threesome with an omega between them, he could still feel him. The thought alone made his breath catch. He shook his head. He couldn't keep doing this. The image wouldn't leave and the uncomfortable throb it left behind told him it was time for a cold shower.

The cold water helped very little. He was flushed, skin tight. The cold was just temporary relief while he finished himself off between gasps. He came with a moan. Stood there, heart hammering, entire body shaking from the freezing water.

He was very thirsty.

It took him a while to settle down. The truth was he'd gone too long without, and lately the tension had been building to a point he couldn't ignore, at least on his end.

He went back to his room, got dressed, turned his phone back on. No new messages. Almost eleven. He didn't want to think about Clara and yet the anger sitting in his chest was disproportionate and he knew it. He grabbed a beer, went back to his room, threw himself on the bed, and decided to end the night with a series.

Brrrr. Brrrr. Brrrr.

The buzzing on the wooden table yanked him out of sleep. Leo reached for the phone with his eyes still closed, failed twice, gave up and opened them.

"Shit," he muttered. "I'm going to kill that bastard North."

He answered. The voice on the other end was rough and dark — he barely recognized it.

"Leo… I'm in trouble."

Leo sat up fast.

"Did you kill someone?"

That voice broke into a laugh, deep, rough, and warm in a way that raised the hair on his arms. Something in him stirred immediately.

"No. But I really wanted to," Jared answered, low and slow and deliberate.

He sounded different. Like he was drunk but not quite. There was only one thing that sounded like that. Leo's heart picked up.

"Jad, did you take something?"

That laugh again. And then, honeyed in a way that made something inside Leo go soft:

"You only call me Jad when you think I'm… delicate. Sometimes I'm surprised how well you know me…" A pause. His breathing was heavy. "That bitch Clara was at the party…" A quiet laugh. "...she doesn't like dominant alphas…"

"Jad. Where are you?"

No answer but five seconds later, a location dropped. Then the call cut out.

Leo thought about calling North. Dropped it immediately, he'd be with some omega somewhere by now. Leo went to the bathroom, splashed his face, grabbed his jacket and sneakers, and got out.

The place wasn't far. He tried calling back, no connection. Jared loose with a rut enhancer was dangerous. Not just because of the pheromones. Because of how aggressive he could get.

He called a cab. Ten minutes later he was there, a corner half-hidden from the main street. He found him crouched near a tree.

Impossible to look at him and think ultra-dominant alpha.

Leo approached. Jared stood up — unsteady, gaze clouded, struggling to focus. But he smiled. And pulled Leo into a hug, face buried in his neck, murmuring something Leo couldn't make out.

What he understood was that he needed to move him. Now. The hot breath on his neck sent a shiver straight to his stomach and dragged up memories he didn't need right now.

"Come on, I'll take you home..." he started, pushing him gently.

An arm pulled him back. Hard.

"And to my bed…too?" Playful. Low.

He felt a hot tongue on his neck and for one moment — just one — he wanted to give in to the purely physical impulse. He also realized, in the same moment, that if he hadn't had his rut yet, Jared could be the trigger. Tonight. Maybe he wasn't beta after all. Maybe alpha.

He cleared his mind. Looked around, they weren't far. He called another cab, got Jared into the back seat with considerable effort, and managed to keep him still. He could feel Jared's gaze on his neck the whole ride. Felt the nerves taking over. Calm on the outside, sweating underneath, heart throwing itself against his ribs. He didn't want to ask himself questions. He didn't want to think.

They reached Jared's building. Got out. Leo moved fast, it didn't help much. The heat coming off Jared's body reached him anyway, like a wave rolling off hot asphalt in the middle of summer. They went through the lobby, into the elevator. When they reached his floor, Leo was grateful he lived alone. He didn't know what was going to happen.

He thought about what had happened in his own shower earlier. He had the absurd, fleeting thought that he should be glad, this was exactly what he'd wanted, so many times. But he was scared and fascinated in equal parts. Jared felt like someone else. An animal locked into instinct, tracking its prey.

Leo stopped at the door. Numerical keypad. He lifted the cover to enter the code.

Hot breath hit the back of his neck. A hand settled on his hip, radiating heat through his clothes. Jared's hips pressed against him from behind and the light contact made him shudder, made his finger land on the wrong key. The door didn't open.

He tried to push Jared back. All that accomplished was Jared wrapping both arms around him and pressing his nose into his neck. Persistent. Immovable.

His breath. The brush of lips. The weight of his body.

It was too much.

"Jared, I nee— need—" he whispered, barely.

"Uhmm…"

The hot tongue began moving over the skin of his neck. Leo couldn't help it, he leaned forward slightly. Felt himself throb against his underwear. He straightened up. Ignored the hand traveling down his abdomen. Tried to regulate his breathing. Typed the numbers between gasps.

The lock clicked.

He exhaled.

The apartment was almost dark, faint moonlight coming in through the living room window.

He was shoved inside. The door slammed shut. His back hit the cold surface of it.

Jared kissed him, urgent, rough, no room to breathe. Both hands on his hips, pulling him in. Hot breath and gasps and a tongue that moved through his mouth like it was desperate.

A dry, sharp scent hit his nose and flooded his chest. Pine forest after rain, dense and overwhelming. He tried to breathe. Jared didn't stop. His knees buckled.

Another wave of that scent and his chest seized, a coughing fit that finally broke the kiss. Jared barely registered it. He was already at his neck, his collarbone, his shoulders, working at his pants.

He tried to pull off Leo's shirt. Leo tried to say something. Jared tore it off without effort and threw it across the room.

"JARED!"

Nothing. Leo grabbed a fistful of his hair, a beast in full trance. One option left. He bit down hard into the alpha's shoulder.

Jared growled and looked up. His honey eyes were completely overtaken, dark brown, glassy, shot through with lines that meant one thing.

Full rut.

"Jared. Listen to me."

He looked at Leo. Blood running down his shoulder. Leo spat, clearing the taste from his mouth while the metal mixed with that pine scent and his stomach turned. He took a long breath, willing it to settle.

He pushed him toward the sofa. Jared followed, sat down. He'd lost his pants at some point. The outline of his erection strained visibly against the thin fabric of his briefs.

Leo undressed. Approached. Sat on top of him, arms looped behind his neck. He allowed himself, for one moment, to enjoy having him like this. At his mercy.

He reached down, freed him from the briefs. Heard Jared moan. Those half-lidded eyes, dark with want, watched him as he moved.

Leo made a decision.

This was the night he was going to get rid of this feeling. Years of loving someone who didn't love him back — it ended here. He said goodbye to it, quietly, somewhere inside. This would be his first and last night with his first great love.

Time to bury it.

-cont. part two-