'An unfamiliar ceiling,' I murmured to myself as I stirred awake, eyes affixed to the ceiling.

Ugh. God. My mouth tasted like sand, and my head was absolutely killing me... all from one drink, maybe even half. I wasn't a lightweight, I was a featherweight.

Thank God it was dark in here, the mornings were already hard enough for me as is, and being so painfully hungover just might hammer the final nail in my coffin. And that nail might just split my head open.

Wait, here... where was here?

I pried each eye open with index and thumb, and slowly begun to make out my new surroundings. I seemed to be splayed out on a soft, violet sofa in the living room of a small apartment, not dissimilar to my own.

'Ugh... don't tell me...' I muttered, pushing a heavy beige blanket off me before looking down at myself.

'Ah!' I squealed, jumping off the couch like a startled cat and stumbling onto a smaller chair besides it as I glimpsed my new attire. I was berobed in an incredibly oversized white Hello Kitty shirt that hung down past my knees.

'What- where? Uh- Lilith!' I stammered before calling out my likely captor's name, still staring down in horror at the shirt I was practically drowning in.

'Mm?' hummed Lilith in reply, following the creak of a door nearby, and I spun around and clung to the back of the chair as I poked my head over.

Rubbing her eyes with her fist as she looked me over, I realized she wore similar "nightwear" to which I had apparently slept in, albeit black, displaying Kuromi on its face, and not covering her lower half... Yup, that was black lace lingerie. Typical.

In response, I squeaked and hid behind the chair again. 'Put some pants on, woman!' I shrieked, hands over my eyes.

'Just don't look,' she shrugged, sauntering into the living room and taking a seat on the sofa I'd slept on.

'So... uh... did we...' I stammered, tapping the tips of my fingers together as I looked down at my lap, shifting in my seat as my face grew red hot.

'Pfft, you wish~' she teased me, pulling herself up from the sofa and wandering into the kitchen. 'Far from it, hon~ you got shitfaced and threw up all over the bar, your dress, and thankfully not yours truly... it was pretty funny, but far from sexy~' she explained with a chortle, returning from the kitchen with a glass and a large pitcher of water that she placed on the coffee table in front of me.

'Oh, God...' I muttered, and I probably would've been more mortified if I didn't feel like someone was thrusting an icepick into my skull.

I swiftly poured myself a glass and chugged it, and to my surprise Lilith's face flashed with worry before she lifted a finger. 'Ethel, um... take it easy, just sip it, ok?' she implored me, rather uncharacteristically.

'What're you my mom? I'm fi-' my cheeks promptly inflated with vomit, and I swallowed sharply in response. 'Fine.'

She glared at me, and I poured myself another glass and nursed it, shooting daggers at her as I did so.

'So, Lilith... what the shit am I wearing?' I probed her, mortification still ebbing at my entire being. 'Wait- did you- you had to- strip me!?'

'What, you wanted me to throw you on the couch with a cute dress caked in vomit? Of course I did~' she spelt out for me, her sly expression deflating to a pout. 'And here I was~ thinking you'd be oh so grateful I got dirt under my nails and even washed your dress~ oh, what ingratitude~' she dramatized, hand held limply over her forehead as if pretending to faint.

'Oh, yeah, thanks... I just- you saw my...' I mumbled thanks, eyes affixed to my chest as I felt my face burning. I was wearing my underwear, but still.

'Nope~ I slipped the shirt straight on without so much as a glimpse at the goods~ what's the point if I didn't work for it?' she reassured me, but her comment didn't make me feel any less rattled.

'What a gentlelady~' I remarked, rolling my eyes at her. It was then that my phone – placed on the coffee table in front of my resting place – buzzed.

Bending over the pitcher, I slipped my phone into my palm and navigated to my unread messages.

Huh, Alu had texted me. "Good morning, Ethel. Are you awake? Free to call?" it read. It was 11:02 AM, but she was right to ask if I was awake.

At that moment, my heart skipped a beat – due to the anxiety that accompanied phone calls – and for some reason I was excited to talk with her, even in spite of what had just transpired.

● ● ●

'Where you off to, hot stuff?' Lilith teased as I sprung from the couch and ran to the... wait where was the bathroom?

I stopped in my tracks, and awkwardly turned to Lilith, gesturing to my phone. 'I- er- gotta take this- is there a-' I stammered.

'No, Ethel, I shit outside~' Lilith replied with a teasing snark, before pointing down the hall she'd emerged from earlier. 'Second door to the left,' she said curtly, slumping down onto her sofa.

As I entered the bathroom, I promptly shut the door behind me and took a seat on the closed toilet by the entrance.

It was less extravagant then I would've imagined, but it was still bigger than mine. Shower, bath and toilet all in one place; convenient for a single-person unit.

Mine was less conveniently divided into room with a toilet, and room with a sink and some sort of shower-bath hybrid.

Shuffling on my "seat," I navigated to my contacts and tapped the call icon by Alu's name.

Bzzzrt. Bzzzrt. Bzzzzrt. Bzzzrt. Come on, pick up... My hands were shaking, - just from a simple phone call - and at some point they even tried to chuck the phone from my hands.

'Hyuup-' I huffed as I secured my phone in my palm once more.

'Hello,' the shrill monotone finally answered my call after what had felt like minutes.

'Oh- umm- uh- hi, Lu-Lu- do you wanna talk over videochat?' I sputtered, pulling my knees to my chest as the oversized shirt engulfed me.

'Hm? But you barely see my face as is?' she stated quizzically, her voice without infliction.

'I don't care~ it's a hell of a lot easier than calling,' I groaned, and Lu-Lu promptly turned videochat on.

'So, did you just want to show off?' a maskless Lu-Lu who suddenly appeared on my phone stated, her eyes peering up and down at my attire in frame.

'I take it that the mission was a success?' Lu-Lu asked bluntly, as I purposely looked away from her face, covering the lower half of the screen with my hand the second she'd appeared. I was not prepared.

'Oh- um-' I stuttered response, shrinking back into the Hello Kitty shirt like a turtle into its shell.

Lu-Lu's eyes displayed no anticipation for the response, just a cold, analytical stare. And her mouth, I wasn't sure of... but I was curious.

I swiftly passed my other hand off my screen, glimpsing the face beneath. It was so surreal, and I could barely process it.

Her jawline was soft, yet uncharacteristically toned, like a marble fountain centerpiece. Her nose was, as one of my name might put it, "cute as a button," and her smooth, brown skin glistened in the soft glow of her apartment. And her lips... were full, heart-shaped, and I noted that she was biting down on her lip in- was that... worry?

Did she really care about me getting play so much that she'd actively worry about it? Wasn't this just another investigation for her? It didn't affect her, and she wasn't going to publish her anthropological findings, or anything.

'You fell silent. Were you trying to signal failure?' she whispered, and stopped biting her lip.

'No, no, no, I wasn't-' I started, shaking my head and waving my hands as I let the phone rest against my thighs.

'Oh, so,' she started, her eyes suddenly drooping as she fell silent. Wasn't what she was assuming the result she'd wanted?

'To be honest, the "courtship ritual" would've worked... but I decided to get shitfaced and uh- threw up everywhere- that's why I'm wearing just-' I frantically clarified, and to my surprise Lu-Lu started beaming. Aside from her eyes, that had remained expressionless, the whole lower half of her face had curled into an ecstatic closed-lip smile.

'I- I was just there for info anyways- so your experiment really did work-' I explained, and with that Lu-Lu let out a shrill, uncontrollable giggle like a freaking hyena.

'You are- so-' she started between fits of laughter.

'What, stupid? I'm aware-' I replied, rolling my eyes at her while trying to maintain my composure. I was so startled, but just seeing her laugh made my face hurt I was smiling so hard.

'Adorable,' she snorted, and I was utterly gobsmacked for lack of a better word. She then quicky seemed to realize she'd lost all composure, because a blush crawled up her face, and she promptly covered her mouth with her hand.

'Uh... I'm sorry... I... think... you... cut... out... could you... repeat' I teased, producing radio static noise with my mouth as I covered it.

Lu-Lu blinked twice, and her face lit up again like a match. 'Shut. Up,' she grumbled defensively, her voice flat but her lips very much upturned.

'Can't hear you-' I replied as I then acted like her screen had frozen, mouth hanging to the side as if my jaw had dislocated.

'You look like you are having a cerebrovascular accident,' and with that, I was the one who started cracking up now. 'H-how can you even call me all those things when you're so damn cute-' I giggled, cutting myself off late.

'Because they are accurate assessments from my point of view,' Lu-Lu explained, her voice muffled by her hand that had attempted to cover up a sudden intense blush. I kind of got Lilith now; it was fun to tease cute girls.

'Well, my assessment is even more correct, from my point of view,' I huffed, slinking into my shirt with a pout. 'Also, here on Earth you can just tell people you find them cute, y'know.'

'I- I do not know what I find "cute," you just are... for some reason...' she mumbled, eyes drooping, and I couldn't say I exactly understood. Nonetheless, my face felt so hot I thought it was going to blow off.

'Why is your face red?' Lu-Lu quizzed, staring at me with wide grey eyes. I had no idea how to answer that.

'You- you're the expert- you tell me!' I blurted, holding the phone away from me. I knew I would instantly regret challenging her.

'Flushing or erubescence of the face indicates increased blood-flow to the area, which can be caused by a number of biological and psychological factors. Ruling out menopause, fever, physical exertion, medication or intoxication, it could be lupus, but considering Ockham's razor, the more likely stimuli would be emotional,' she continued, seeming to turn my blurted challenge into an open investigation.

'Erubescence as intense as that displayed could have then been stimulated by humiliation, self-consciousness, or romantic or sexual arousal or attraction... which in itself would be triggered by sudden recognition of affection, build gradually, and is localized to the cheeks, ears and neck, and is less diffused and not accompanied by a clenched jaw or tenseness...' she continued, deep in thought without realizing the implications of her studies.

She glanced up at me and I could feel those exact points fill with blood. She seemed to take a mental note, and then continued. 'Whereas lupus is localized to the cheeks and nose, meaning it is not lupus,' she finished, matter-of-factly, index finger held up in frame.

'It's never lupus,' I murmured, my face still burning. Was that her conclusion, that it wasn't lupus?

There wasn't anything else she'd gotten out of ruling out everything but- wait, what? "Romantic or sexual arousal or attraction," that wasn't... that wasn't right, was it?

'Which means the most likely trigger for the erubescence was likely sudden romantic infat-' I stopped her mid-diagnosis. 'This was fun, thanks for the advice! I've gotta go, now, prepare for my deet, see you, Lu-Lu!' before I could hang up, a flash of what looked like terror painted her face before she threw up a small, twinkly wave and hung up.