“You can do it,” I whispered to Harlow as he fidgeted, watching Gracie talk to her friends, “Just ask her to talk. She’ll say yes to homecoming.”

“Are you sure? Because it’ll be mortifying if she tells me no.”

“She likes you, idiot. Go ask her,” I shoved him gently, and Harlow finally made his way down the hallway as I watched from our locker.

Harlow managed to pull Gracie away to a quiet corner, and I smiled when she quickly nodded, hugging him tightly. Harlow looked over, and I gave him a thumbs up before bursting out in laughter when one of the English teachers pulled the two of them apart, as the only displays of affection allowed at school were handholding. This didn’t stop people from pushing the limit; it was never going to, but it was still funny to see Harlow’s face entirely red at being caught. He held his hand out, and Gracie took it, the two of them heading toward the cafeteria.

I pulled my lunch from the locker and went outside, finding my favorite tree empty. I always ate in the same spot if the weather let me, listening to music, and eating my salad.

“Hmm,” I hummed softly to the song playing in my headphones when a shadow blocked out the sun, “Huh?”

Before I could process it, my salad was suddenly all over my clothes, and Amanda laughed, having kicked the bottom of the box out of my hands to force it to spill.

“Oops,” she shrugged, flipping her hair over her shoulder and strutting inside, a freshman who clung to her following after.

I sat there quietly, staring at my clothes, my heart racing as my face grew warm with anger and embarrassment. I threw the container into my bag and shook what I could off before following her inside, trying to stop myself from snapping.

“What the hell is your problem?” I shouted, and Amanda spun around, the students surrounding us growing quiet, “Why the hell would you do that?”

“It was an accident,” she gasped, putting a hand on her chest, “I would never go out of my way to hurt anyone.”

“You bitch,” I snarled out, throwing my bags onto the ground and stomping over, forcing myself not to hit her as I would never dream of putting my hands on a girl, no matter how angry I was, “It isn’t enough to spread rumors about me and talk shit behind my back? Now you’re ruining my clothes? I’m so sorry, princess, that you didn’t get your wishes to come true, but that’s not my fault! You lost your spot on the squad by being a bitch to everyone. You will never get any of the football players to want you because you have rocks for brains, and you don’t have friends because you’re a fucking pick-me. No one wants to be friends with someone who talks down to everyone around them. I normally would have kept my mouth shut, but this was the final goddamn straw.”

“Aster Valentine Leclair,” Headmaster Hanson called from behind me, and I stopped shouting, gripping the sides of my skirt, “In my office. Now. I’ll deal with you later, Ms. Fisch,” She nodded at Amanda, who scurried away, her face flaming with embarrassment, as I doubted that she expected me to do anything.

I went to snatch up my bags, but they were already being held by Caleb, “Give me my shit.”

“Go to the office,” he whispered, “I’ll take them to class.”

“Caleb, give it to me.”

“No.”

Before I could grab my things, he ducked into our geometry class, and I threw my hands up, spinning on my heel and stomping into Headmaster Hanson’s office. I threw myself into a chair, vinaigrette still running down my shirt, and she took a seat behind her desk, folding her hands.

“Tell me what happened,” she whispered.

I started at the beginning of Amanda joining the cheer squad, all of the horrible things she called me that had been recorded by the other cheerleaders, the incident where she tripped me in front of Caleb, and finally, today.

“I was minding my business. I was under my tree, listening to music and eating, when she suddenly kicked the bottom of my container, causing my food to splatter all over me. I apologize for my language, but I’ve been putting up with this for so long, and I lost my temper.”

She turned to the phone on her desk and called someone, asking for Caleb.

Caleb came into the office a few moments later and sat next to me, gripping his pants, “Good afternoon, Headmaster.”

“Good afternoon, Mr. Steele. Anything we talk about in this room is between the three of us. I will not be informing your parents, and Aster, you aren’t in trouble. Caleb, Aster told me that Amanda Fisch purposely tripped them on the football field in front of you. Is this a fact?”

“It is,” Caleb nodded quickly, “She caused them to get really hurt too.”

“What did you do to remedy the situation?”

“I told Amanda to leave me alone and helped Aster up from the ground.”

“I was under the impression you two didn’t like each other.”

“We don’t,” We answered at the same time, never looking at each other.

“Then why did you help Aster?”

“Because… I don’t hate them. We just get along like cats and dogs. That doesn’t mean I want to see them hurt. Also,” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a note, handing it to Headmaster Hanson, “I found this in my locker yesterday. I was going to bring it to you later. It’s a note from Amanda asking me to help her mess with Aster at Homecoming. I wanted to know what she’d say, so I went to talk to her and recorded it. She wants to figure out a way to… pants them and expose the fact that they’re… I don’t know how to say this without misgendering you, Aster.”

“She wants everyone to see I have a penis?” I whispered, my voice thick, “But everyone knows biologically I’m male. I just don’t identify that way because it feels wrong to. I used to use the boys' bathroom when I first came out, but that made me uncomfortable still so I started going to the nurse. It’s not a secret.”

“But she wants to embarrass you.”

“Oh,” I looked at my lap, “I didn’t do anything to her.”

“Also, I saw her kick the salad onto Aster. I was coming outside when it happened, but they were so angry, Aster didn’t notice me.”

“The security cameras point directly at the tree. I saw the entire thing, which is why I called you into my office, Aster. I should admonish you for your language, but honestly… Good for you for standing up to her,” Headmaster Hanson laughed, and I raised my head. “I have already put in the request to have her removed from our school, and this was the final straw. This is a school that welcomes all children and staff, no matter who they are. We respect and assist with gender identity, sexuality, and anything along that spectrum. You are to tell no one, but she was caught graffitiing horrible, homophobic slurs all over one of the girls' bathrooms. Today is her last day here. While the grades are separated into their own buildings, we are one school, one family that supports each other, and I do not stand for someone trying to ruin that harmony. Thank you, Caleb, for your evidence. Please send a copy of that recording to me. Aster, I am sorry she has been doing this to you. You’ve stayed strong, and I admire that about you. You both only have one more class that’s nearly over. Caleb, you may head back. Aster, I’ll give you a free uniform to change into.”

“It’s fine,” I shook my head, “There are only twenty minutes left, and I don’t have practice today. I can handle smelling like raspberries until then.”

“It’s stained,” Caleb muttered and pulled off his letterman's jacket, handing it to me, “Just borrow this.”

“No. Stop being nice to me, it’s gross.”

“Aster, just take the freakin’ jacket,” he said, setting it in my lap and leaving the room, heading to geometry.

“You two would probably be great friends if you would stop fighting all the time,” Headmaster Hanson giggled, and I scoffed at her.

“We don’t like each other.”

I thanked her and pulled Caleb’s jacket on. It was incredibly long on me, coming to the middle of my thighs and covering my entire uniform. I snuck into class, taking my seat in front of Caleb, but found it impossible to focus on anything but the gentle smell of redwood coming from his jacket.

“That looks awful on you,” Caleb whispered from behind me.

“I actually look adorable in big jackets and high socks,” I whispered back, “You just like being mean to me. Besides, I get two this year for cheer and baseball. Next year will be the same, but I’ll have fancy patches like you. I’ll be head cheerleader and captain of the baseball team.”

“Whatever,” he gently pulled my hair, and I rolled my eyes before chewing my lip.

“Thank you.”

“For?”

“Backing me up to Headmaster Hanson. You could have lied.”

“I didn’t do it for you. I hate Amanda, that’s all.”

“Yeah. So do I.”

The day came to an end, and I quickly gave Caleb his jacket before rushing from the classroom as always. I didn’t see Harlow at our locker, but this wasn’t totally abnormal, as his last class was a level up from mine. I quickly grabbed the books I needed, and another note fell onto the floor, the handwriting the same as the one before. I immediately picked it up, reading it before shoving it into my bag, my face burning as I repeated what the letter had said in my head.

Eyes of green

Heart of gold

I love it when you feel so bold

I don’t know how to keep you near

I never will, there’s too much fear

But if you ever realize

Your empathy has saved my life

I’ll be waiting for you with open arms

Just not now

It will cause too much harm

My heart is yours

It always was

But I’m a coward

And always will be.