I take a deep breath and try to settle my nerves. Internally, I might be bursting with energy, but it’s essential to appear calm and collected on the outside. I make sure my feet are firmly planted on the floor, my hands resting on my knees. I try not to bounce my legs, as I sometimes catch myself doing when I’m uncomfortable. Those nervous ticks are so easy to fall back on, but I’ve gotten better at hiding them over the years. My phone is on silent and put away, so I don’t appear distracted or inattentive. 

When your coworkers are cutthroat and always looking for any sign of weakness, you have to be careful. Never give anyone the advantage over you. My control over my emotions is one of the reasons I’m here today, ready to start my new position at a well-regarded PR Firm. The first woman in the history of Harrison PR to hold the position of Account Director and one step closer to Vice President. 

It’s my first day after my promotion and I’m anxious to get started and make my mark in this position. It’s been difficult navigating the boys’ club of Harrison PR, but I did it. I started as a fresh-faced intern and managed to work my way up to a corner office and an assistant of my own. Now my name has been added to the short list of potential people to take over when Mr. Harrison and the Vice President, Mr. Nills, retire. It’s hard to believe that my plans are falling into place after all this time.

I run my hands over the tops of my thighs, straightening the already smooth fabric of my black pants. Another nervous tick. Damn. I look over at Betty, but she has her eyes on her computer, no longer paying me any attention. The smart black pantsuit is feminine but doesn’t show off the curves under my clothes. I learned a long time ago that I had to be beautiful but modest to be taken seriously at Harrison. I attracted male attention from the time I was young. My body is long and lean with firm muscle under golden tan skin. My long black hair and light blue eyes grab people’s attention, making them stop and stare. My body developed early, large breasts and full hips that drove the boys wild growing up. 

In my youth, I loved to tease the boys in my small town, letting them chase me but never letting them catch me. The reaction my looks got could be a curse at work, though. I had to hide my attributes and my naturally flirty personality. Men took it as an invitation to harass me and overlook my intelligence. Women took it as an invitation to hate and mock me. 

It was much easier to hide my true self at work. Like adopting a second personality. Buttoned up and serious during the week and wild and flirty during my free time. My wild days are less and less frequent these days. My priority is getting ahead and making a name for myself, even if it means ignoring my instincts to flirt and tease. My one rebellion at work is my love of provocative lingerie that I keep hidden under my practical clothes. I also refuse to abandon my sky high heels that bring me close to most of my male colleagues in height, even towering over a few. 

I learned my physical appearance could help me, but usually, it just attracted the wrong kind of attention, from men and women. I did my best to downplay my looks while still presenting an attractive, put-together persona. I’ve developed a reputation as an ice queen at work, but it’s better than finding myself the focus of drama and gossip in the workplace. It’s hard to shake a bad reputation, even one that’s unearned. 

My first year at the company almost drove me back home to my small town. I dealt with flirty coworkers and their jealous wives. Men who pushed their attention on me and catty office bullying from other women in my department. I had to grow a tough exterior, and my clothing and attitude at work became my armor. 

I check my watch again. Mr. Harrison should be ready any minute. This promotion is what I’ve been working towards my whole career. Now that the time has come to step into the position I’ve always wanted, I’m letting my nerves get to me. That won’t do. I’m stronger than that. 

I sacrificed a lot to be here. While my friends were all getting married and having children, I was working late and canceling dates. Every relationship I’ve ever had has come second to my job and none of them survived my drive and determination to succeed. 

My longest relationship lasted a year, Matt. He was the only man I ever introduced my family to. My mother broke the news to me yesterday that he’s getting married this spring to the woman he started dating after me. No surprise she still follows him on Facebook. I think she hoped we would make it work and find our way back to each other.

She was shocked by my attitude when I heard about Matt’s approaching wedding. She thought I would be devastated by the news, but I don’t care. If anything, I’m happy for him. He was a good guy, but we weren’t the right fit. Our relationship was stale and boring and it was almost a relief when it ended. 

For my mother, having a daughter who is thirty-nine, single, and without children is a huge embarrassment. None of my accomplishments could make up for never getting married and popping out a couple of grandkids. That was her problem, though. I stopped trying to please my mother a long time ago. She never understood me and the only way she would ever be proud of me was if I took after her as the perfect wife and mother. That was never going to happen. 

She would have been thrilled if I had run home with my tail between my legs, never wanting to return to the big bad city ever again, after my difficult first year. Instead, after a bumpy start, I thrived. Every challenge that came my way, I conquered. I have no regrets about the life I’ve led and this next step may be scary, but I’m up for it. 

The door to Mr. Harrison’s office finally opens and Betty and I look towards the short, balding man in the doorway. “Ah, Miranda, I’m so sorry to keep you waiting.”

I stand from my seat. “It’s no problem, Mr. Harrison. I arrived a little early and didn’t mind the wait.” Betty tries to hide her smile at my words. She knows I’m full of shit but is too kind to call me out. 

Mr. Harrison gestures towards his office. “Come on in so we can chat about your new responsibilities. I have a few accounts I want to go over with you before you get started. Betty, can you run down the hall to make sure Miranda’s office is ready and that her new assistant is available to meet with her when we’re done here?” 

Betty stands from her desk with a polite smile. “Of course, Mr. Harrison. I saw Joshua earlier grabbing a coffee, so I’m sure he’s at his desk by now.” 

I perk up when I hear my new assistant’s name. Mr. Harrison hand-picked Joshua to promote as my assistant. At first, I was disappointed that I wouldn’t be hiring my assistant, but there’s something special about starting our new positions together. This will be the first time I’ll have someone working just for me and not shared within a department. I’ve never met Joshua. The company is too large to know everyone, but I don’t doubt Mr. Harrison’s ability to choose the right person for the position. I’m sure we’ll get along well and take this company on together. After all, the better I look, the better he will look and open up opportunities for his advancement as well. 

Mr. Harrison nods. “Perfect. We’ll be down in about an hour, so take your time.” He turns to walk into his office and I follow him, excited to get started.