So much time has passed since I first met you, but I feel as strange as ever. That night was the first time I ever backed down from my words. Haein, you’ll never know you are a savior to someone, who doesn’t know it either. Whenever you look at me, there’s a feeling that makes me weak, and while as weak as I might usually be, it never shows on me unless I am with you. It’s been 167 days since that night. I’ve begun to feel feelings I thought I had forgotten. Whenever I sense the warmth of the sun on a cold day, and whenever I look at a sad painting, our memories start appearing before my very eyes. Sometimes I even see your purple shadow creeping up behind my back.

Haein…. where are you now?

It was the first time I felt a spark with someone that day in the kitchen, and while we didn’t do much besides cooking, something felt different, a sensation I’ve never felt before. But before I had gotten closer, you were already gone. You had just moved into the neighbourhood, so how come you left just as fast as you stole my heart? It’s like a reminder, once again, I lose everything before I even grasp it. I feel like we could’ve been so much more, but now you are just another memory of a fleeting emotion, one I don’t think I’ll have the chance to experience again.

My schedule remained the same, and my world is back to where it was before I met you. Maybe it was just a matter of time. It’s better that she left before we got close, then we’d both have been left hurt and broken.

Destiny would be too cruel to have our fate intertwined. This is what Jiwon had convinced himself to get over her.

The stopwatch finally rang a familiar sound of time. Jiwon was in his pool once again, and he began counting how long he could hold his breath for. It was the amount of time his mind could be blank. Over time, the duration grew longer and longer, and one wouldn’t tell whether it was a good thing or not. Loneliness grew, and while he’d miss her every once in a while, he and Haein were yet to establish a genuine connection to make his feelings feel justified enough.  The thought of what could have happened to Haein, for her to have left right after she moved to town, slightly scared him. But maybe a part of him missed the person he became when they were together. There are so many things Jiwon doesn’t know, and it was for the first time in a while that he felt as curious as he did now.

After that bath, he packed his suitcase. He was leaving for a business trip to Milan. It’s still early in the day, and he isn’t in a hurry because his flight is at 1 pm and it’s 7 in the morning. He was staying over at his apartment in Cheongdam-dong (청담동). Whenever he was back at his home, he kept being reminded of the empty house next to his, and it gave him a shitty feeling. Not a good way to start a morning. Jiwon went down for some fresh air and some coffee; his usual was an espresso with 2 shots, no creamer, but some sugar. He has quite a sweet tooth for a guy like him. Jiwon is a refined man, quite exquisite and slightly heartbreaking to look at. As he sat in the cafe, legs crossed and a mug of espresso in his hand. He looked the kind of unattainable beauty that you’d appreciate once in a while, knowing you’d never see him again.