Graduation was fast approaching.

Each passing day made it easier to accept that neither Nick nor I was good enough for college. It didn’t hurt. It might’ve been a relief. While everyone else prepared for a normal life after high school, Nick and I got to consider alternatives.

“You know, if we leave, there’s no coming back. You’ll be stuck with me forever,” I said.

“No, you’ll be stuck with me,” Nick playfully corrected while he raided the refrigerator.

My dad was out of town for the week, so Nick and I had the house to ourselves. It was nice to kick back after a long school day—especially after stripping out of half my clothes. Having my boyfriend there made it a million times better.

I knew I wasn’t Nick’s first anything, but he was mine. He probably wasn’t as cautious with his ex as he’d been with me. Sadly, my dad bought into all the toxic Christian beliefs our town peddled, so it was unavoidable. We missed out on doing things normal couples got to do, which made me appreciate moments Nick might’ve looked over. I wasn’t sure how he felt about our time lazing around, but to me, the simple things were worth gold.

Anyway, it was cool to have time without filtering.

“We could move in together. It might be more expensive, but—” I started, then quickly went silent because Nick sat beside me on the living room couch.

He got in close and made it hard to think of anything else.

He was such a dork. Nick leaned in but stopped just as we were about to touch. His eyes were wide open, locked on mine, until I closed the last bit of space for him. The awkwardness might’ve been a product of him knowing I was new to everything. It could’ve been that he was just awkward and had lousy timing. Maybe he always stopped himself short of being assertive because he wanted to make sure I was okay.

It had taken months after prom night for me to stand in the same room with Nick without losing my shit. Admitting that I felt something took even longer. Odd or not, I was into it. The way we kissed was something special.

Once I gave him the go-ahead, Nick and I had our first kiss that day. Though we’d seen each other at school, it wasn’t until we were alone that we could be ourselves. I could be myself. Making out for ten minutes felt like seconds. An hour could’ve passed in a blink. We never had enough time.

When Nick had to come up for air and let me go, I couldn’t help but laugh. It was odd how quickly I’d learned to crave another guy’s attention. After going through three years of high school chasing after the opposite sex, it was a flip when I suddenly hooked up with a dude.

The look on Nick’s face—like drunken relief—told me I wasn’t alone. I probably had a similar expression.

He leaned back in his seat and kicked his feet up on the coffee table in front of us. While he sprawled out and stretched, I took mental photos of everything. It made me more comfortable, the more relaxed I thought he was. There was less to worry over when he was at ease. I couldn’t fuck things up when the moment was so right. I didn’t want to.

“I want to see the world. Or... at least a better one. Don’t you?” he asked.

I almost forgot we were having a conversation.

“Just the two of us?” I said.

“Don’t you want to leave Oklahoma?”

“I do, but—” I stumbled, still watching him beside me.

Nick was fully dressed while I was in little more than my boxers and a T-shirt. He usually wore sweaters and jeans, but they couldn’t hide how skinny he was. We both were, but I had more muscle from playing football.

Either way, his presence mesmerized me. Nick was my first boyfriend and the longest serious relationship. His body was right there, tempting me to reach out and undress him as I’d already done to myself. Anything he said or did was enough to hold my attention effortlessly. I fetishized my boyfriend when all he was doing was sitting next to me.

It’s true—I was a popular kid. But when it was just us, I was nervous, like my first kiss.

“You’re afraid?” he asked. And he wasn’t wrong. But it also turned me on.

“No. Not really,” I said.

“I can take care of you,” he joked, with a grin I would’ve punched him for a year ago.

“I’m not a baby,” I argued.

“You’re my baby. My dumb Meat Head of a baby.”

Only he could get away with saying something like that. It was goofy, cheesy, and annoying—but I could tolerate it from Nick enough to laugh.

“Don’t call me that,” I laughed and pushed his shoulder.

“What? Meat Head or baby?” he ran with the bit.

“Both... either,” I said.

“We could move in together. But if we stay here... there are places outside this town. Places that are nice to people like us,” Nick explained, taking his feet down from the table and turning to face me more directly.

“So it’s not just a road trip? You want to run away?” I asked.

“Why not? I’m tired of hiding,” he said, with a hand resting on my leg.

“But where would we go?”

“Seattle,” he said.

I took a moment to process.

“Why Seattle?”

“That’s where my parents grew up. And I hear it’s nice to people like us,” Nick explained.

I wasn’t sold on the idea—until his hand slipped from my knee further inward. I would’ve agreed to anything when his hand was on my dick. Did he know that, though?