The days rolled easily, everyone content. My friends, my parents, and myself.

I’d been correct to think mum and dad would do research of their own, but I wasn’t expecting a whole PowerPoint presentation on the phycological workings of the teenage brain and mental health, and how different situations effect people differently.

In fact, they’d collected a series of mental health quote magnets to place on our fridge.

“Mental health… is not a destination, but a process. It’s about how you drive, not where you’re going – Noam Shpancer, PHD.”

“Mental health problems don’t define who you are. They are something you experience. You walk in the rain and you feel the rain, but you are not the rain – Matt Haig.”

“Your mental health is everything – prioritize it. Make the time like your life depends on it, because it does – Mel Robbins.”

“There is hope even when your brain tells you there isn’t – John Green.”

“We are all broken. That’s how the light gets in – Ernest Hemingway.”

“You are not weak for struggling you are strong for facing your battle head on – Unknown.”

Those where only the beginning of them. There was a whole container of magnets, containing quote after quote after quote.

I read through every single one. There had to have been at least fifty, and they made me have a mini existential crisis when it came to thinking about human existence (don’t judge, I’m a philosopher), so I think they worked a charm.

In fact, I would be lying if I said some of them didn’t make me cry, even just a little bit.

They also made me think of mental health differently.

It’s not about something that is happening to you. It’s not about something that you are or something that defines you. It’s about an experience. It’s about letting yourself feel and acknowledging all the feeling: the good and the bad.

It’s like an ocean. Sometimes the waves are big. Sometimes they’re small. But they’re still there, some crashing into you stronger than other. Some pull you under the water, but most of the time they can’t keep you under for more than a few second. There is always a way back up.

I hugged my parent’s very tightly for getting them, saying thankyou at least a billion gazillion times.

And yes. All fifty went on the on the fridge. Deal with it.

But somehow, it didn’t stop at the magnets. Their PowerPoint presentation included points on each of my friends, what mental illnesses they may have, and many ways to help them.

There where three entire slides on panic attacks, what causes them, the different types, how to help someone experiencing them, and how to tell apart a panic attack where you should and shouldn’t touch someone.

I thought about Jackson’s panic attacks. I usually kept my distance, as to not frighten him more, and coached him from a distance. However, sometimes he would reach for me and place his hand gently on my chest, as if to listen to my heartbeat. When he did this, he would often grab my hand with his other and squeeze it in time to the thumping in my chest.

The first few times it happened I was quite taken-aback and confused, but after the first few times I got used to letting him initiate touch.

Usually the best way to tell the difference is by asking, but sometimes speaking can be difficult. If they’re cowering back or flinching, its best to keep your hands to yourself, but if they’re reaching for you, or watching you intently, it’s usually okay to offer your hands.

Don’t touch immediately: it was a main point. Hold out your hands in front of them and let them take them. Let them guide you so you can give them what they need.

It was very insightful, actually.

Mum gave me a list of resources to do some more independent research if I wanted (which I obviously did and planned two hours of my even to read through some), and some kids help resources. She even showed me a few options in case I needed to get immediate help for either me or my friends and wasn’t able to talk to anyone else.

Kids Helpline, or 7 Cups could give me anonymous support and suggestions.

“Thank you so much,” I gushed, after my parents had finished their very long presentation, not that I was complaining. It was prefect. Exactly what I needed, in fact.

That night I went to bed feeling very fulfilled, a completely different feeling to the night before. It was amazing how different days can be from each other.

It made me think of some of the quotes. One of my favourites was simple, yet impactful:

“No feeling is final – Rainer Maria Rilke.”

What I feel today isn’t what I’ll feel tomorrow. What I feel tomorrow isn’t want I felt yesterday. What I feel next week isn’t what I'll feel in a year. 

No feeling is final. No feeling is final. No feeling is final.

Maybe tomorrow will be the best. Maybe it will be horrible. Maybe it will feel like I drank a rainbow and glittered in the sun, or maybe it will feel like I went to war and back.

But either way, “The best way out is always through – Robert Frost”.

Night swallowed the Earth . The darkness in my room consumed me, but I didn’t let it feel constricting. It was a blanket, protecting me. “Stars can’t shine without darkness – D.H Sidebottom”.

I felt sleep take me slowly. Somewhere in my subconscious, I knew yesterdays mere three hours wouldn’t repeat. Darkness wouldn’t feel like a curse. It would feel like a blessing.

“Let the darkness lull you to rest, knowing the light will greet you with a new day –Unknown.”