My hobbies:

1. Sleep

2. Eat

3. Play games

Life was peaceful—until one day, I stumbled upon an article claiming you could tell a lot about your health by… looking at your poop.

Naturally, I was intrigued.

I marched over to Ma, who was sitting in the study room with Pa.

Me: Ma, look at this article.

Ma: Don't bother me. I'm busy playing games. Just tell me.

Me: Okies. It says the color, shape, and texture of your poop show how healthy you are.

Ma: Why are you reading nonsense stuff again?

Me: There's even a picture of poop leh. And I'm severely constipated, Ma.

Ma: Eat more vege. Drink more water.

Me: There's a quiz too! Want to try?

Ma: Too busy.

Me: Okies. Next time lah.

I kept scrolling—poop science was more fascinating than I expected.

Me: Wah! I've seen pale poop, yellow poop, green poop, black poop… but never red leh.

Just then, Sis appeared behind me.

Sis: Why are you talking about poop? Can't you find a less disgusting topic?

Me: Do you look at your poop before flushing it?

Sis: Of course not! Who on earth would—

She stopped mid-sentence, looked at me, and sighed.

Sis: Oh right. I forgot. There's a screw loose here.

Me: I look at my poop all the time but I never analyzed them before.

Sis (grabbing her head): I'm getting a headache just talking to her.

Then Pa suddenly stood up from his chair and lunged at me.

Pa: Stop talking about poop, you cockroach!

I successfully escaped before he could strangle me.

And just like that—

Hobby No. 4 was officially added: analyzing my poop.