One day, out of nowhere, Ma asked a weird question while we were eating lunch.

Ma: Do you know how to tell if your husband is cheating on you?

Me: We don't even have one.

WHACK!

Ma smacked me with her hammer.

Ma: Imagine!

Then she turned to Sis.

Ma: Well… tell me!

Sis froze.

Her face said, "I want to live."

Sis: I-I don't know...

Ma sighed, clearly disappointed.

Then her eyes shifted to me.

Ma: What about you?

Me: Smell of perfume, lipstick stains, suspicious gifts, sudden lack of attention—

Ma raised her hand to stop me.

Ma: How do you know all this?!

I just smiled.

(Flashback to my childhood…)

Countless afternoons sitting with my aunty and uncle…

Thousands of Chinese drama episodes…

Every cheating subplot burned into my brain.

I smirked.

Ma's face darkened.

Ma (thinking): Is there something wrong with my child? Should I send her to a psychiatrist?