The Soul

When I opened my eyes, all I saw was the never-ending sky.

Fluffy white cotton across an expanse of saturated blue.

It would’ve been peaceful and pleasant, if not for the impending panic squeezing my chest.

I was dying.

I gasped, sucking in air like I hadn’t taken a breath in years. My arms reflexively began to flail, disturbing the water I was just becoming aware of around me. Finally, the sound hit me. The crashing of water, my muffled and garbled gasping and wailing as I fought against the current.

It was like my senses were slowly returning.

I was coming back together piece by piece, and it was a torturous process.

Water was slipping into my mouth and being sucked into my lungs, burning my throat and chest, only to then burn my nose as everything suddenly rushed back up and out of me. I retched as my legs finally found the muddy floor beneath me. Embarrassingly, I was only in around a foot of water, but it might as well have been the depth of the ocean.

I rooted myself into the loose earth and clawed myself up and onto my knees.

Hot, acidic fluid poured from my mouth and my nose, choking me and forcing my eyes shut. My entire body was shaking uncontrollably, and hot tears were slipping from between my eyelids and sliding down my face. Who knows how long I retched and cried, choking up all of the water I had swallowed, but by the time I opened my eyes and steadied my breathing, the bright blue sky I had seen before was aglow with orange and pink.

My chest heaved as I breathed, taking in my surroundings.

I was in a thin river, the bank covered in rocks and pebbles forming miniature mountain edges. Along either side was an imposing forest, with trees that had such thick trunks that the spaces between were choked and suffocated by the encroaching underbrush. They were also quite tall, forming canopies that cast deep shadows across the ground, nearing the water’s edge.

I had no recollection of where this was or how I got here.

More terrifying, I didn’t know who I was.

I was thankful I was alive, but otherwise, I felt an intense emptiness that was steadily being filled with terror over the unknown.

I stared down the length of the river, which seemed to go on forever, until it took a sharp turn and disappeared behind more trees. But it was right as the river began to curve that I caught sight of something out of place, in the sense that it was sentient. Like me, it was moving and alive.

There was a man crouched along the river’s edge. His eyes were bright gold, and his hair was so light that I couldn’t discern whether it was white or blond, but it was thin and wispy, like feathers sprouting from his head. But more eye-catching than that was the set of antlers growing from his head.

They were glowing with a white haze that seemed to emanate from within them. He reminded me of a deer as he stared in my direction, light eyes wide and bulging as he froze.

His mouth opened like he might say something, only to close as he swallowed in complete silence, still staring. As he stood, his body was covered in a thick and heavy cloak that enveloped his form entirely. Its great folds fell to the ground, kicking up a fine cloud of dust, but the inky black fabric remained untouched.

It was only when he began to move, stepping along the shore of the river, that his form became more apparent. With each step, he kicked the bottom of the cloak aside. From within, a hoofed foot strode outward, hitting the stony earth with a satisfying clack. It was cloven, much like I would expect from a deer, attached to a tawny fur-covered leg.

Awestruck, I was frozen, unable to react as this man — no, this being — moved closer and closer to me.

As he neared, a powerful, warming aura emanated from his person. It was intense yet comfortable, enough to soften my muscles, leaving me lying casually in the river. I might have fallen asleep if not for the man’s eyes, which had me fully entranced.

“You aren’t supposed to be here.”

I blinked.

“Yeah.”

He tilted his head, a slight twitch at the corner of his lips, like he was trying to keep from smiling.

“You are cold. Let me help you.”

I hadn’t been cold, but now that he mentioned it, I was suddenly aware of the weight of my soaked clothes on my skin. Shivering, I wrapped my arms around myself, watching as the sleeve of his cloak came forward. I anticipated a hoof to appear from within the shadows and folds, but I was pleasantly surprised to find an unremarkable human hand instead.

That comforting warmth was radiating from him, tantalizing.

Reflexively, I reached out and took that hand, comforted as it wrapped around mine.

He was tall, but while enveloped in that thick midnight black cloak, he appeared small and thin. I was shocked by the strength that followed as he pulled me up and out of the water. My stomach tumbled through my abdomen, and my mouth filled with saliva. I was sure I was going to throw up, but as I rose onto my shaking legs, I tumbled into the being’s arms.

Instantly, that warmth he radiated enveloped me, and the softness of his cloak seemed to do the same.

My eyelids were heavy, heavier than even my body, as I fell limply against the being’s sturdy form. I was going to disappear again. I could feel it, and that fear was once again bubbling up inside me. But just as I was about to flail and panic, the being’s hand began to stroke my water-soaked hair.

“Go to sleep. The next time you wake up, you’ll be somewhere safer.”

I had no idea who this being was, but I found myself believing him with my entire being, and with that, I let my eyes fall shut. My vision went dark, but I could still feel the intense light radiating from him. Even that disappeared as my consciousness faded away into full darkness.

There was warmth. My immediate, groggy thoughts were of the great being who had lifted me into his arms and held me until I fell asleep, but as I lay there, my eyes shut, I became acutely aware that this warmth wasn’t as consistent or enveloping. Disturbed, I opened my eyes and found a dancing flame of red and orange, crackling as it burned through a stack of sticks within it.

I blinked, surprised.

As I sat up, my joints cracked, and a tingling sensation raced through my body as a result. Despite lying on packed dirt, I was quite comfortable and relaxed. It was a much better waking experience than what I had had the last time.

Taking in my surroundings this time, I found myself in a round cave, dug deep into the stone. The fire was putting off a pleasant orange glow, but it probably wouldn’t be enough to keep the darkness at bay. Thankfully, the man was sitting at the back of the cave, leaning against the cave wall, his eyes shut. Unfortunately, the antlers on his head wouldn’t allow him to lie it back against the wall, so his chin was resting against his chest, the antlers jutting out from the top, their light filling the hollow space.

They were impressive, with eight tines coming off each of the main beams.

Maybe impressive wasn’t the right word. They were beautiful.

Tearing my eyes away, I peered out to the other side of the cave, where it tunneled outward to the outside world. It was night outside, but the moonlight from above was beaming down, lighting the rushing water of the river outside. But that wasn’t the only light. Floating along the top of the water were bright golden bulbs of light, exuding hazy white auras, bumping and bobbing along the surface.

It reminded me of the light coming from the being’s antlers, and I was tempted to get up and see if I could figure out what they were. But, as if he had awoken from that very thought in my head, a grumbling voice explained:

“Those are souls.”

“Souls?”

I looked back to find the being smiling, his light eyes trained on me with a knowing look.

“Yes. Souls. They are going back to the place where all living beings go when their time is up — to be with family or friends. To rest.”

I could hardly believe what he was saying. Though much of me still felt lost and empty, I felt some disbelief bubbling in the pit of my stomach. I turned back to look at the river, watching as these things he called souls bobbed up and down in the water, almost like they were alive.