/On a seemingly ordinary winter's day, the snow continues to fall. But this peace does not last long. In Yongsan district, a dark black luxury sedan pulls over to the side of the road and lets off two passengers. Almost immediately, the silence is broken by - /

Rg: Ahhh Ch-rist, it's freezing!

Ry: ...You need a hug?

Rg: You wish!

/The mysterious, unnamed interlopers are dressed in equally drab greys, browns, and off-blacks, their faces obscured by a hodge-podge of sunglasses, face masks, and scarves. Paradoxically, the amount of covering up makes them look so conspicuous, that every head turns as they walk by./

/The unwanted attention may also be due to the large walking stick that one of them is carrying, which could be mistaken for a regular walking stick were it not for the way it was being - dragged - across the pavement, and the devastating - ringing - sound it made as it glanced off the stony surface./

/Indeed, a very unsettling pair of tough customers.../

Rg: What, like it's not bad enough we need to come back to this po-dunk place...

Hey, remind me what we're looking for again?

/As the two walk up to a very familiar-looking sundae gukbap restaurant, his companion grunts,/

Ry: A gochujang bottle. 

[Title: The Truth Tellers 

1,500 Views Bonus

Quest for the Grail-chujang]

Rg: OK - so I get that there was a novelty camera - but what makes you and Mr. Malik think the restaurant’s got it? 

[2 days ago…]

/Flashback: a huge scramble ensues when a certain long-haired rapper gets caught dining undercover at 3 Sisters Sundae Gukbap, and three sasaeng fans give chase./

Chaeyeon: Look, they’re packing up, they’re leaving. 

/Yoona gets up to run. She is clearly holding the gochujang bottle in her hand. She tosses the bottle into her shoulder bag - clean misses the opening of the bag - the bottle falls to the ground as she dashes off./

/Meanwhile, from outside the store, Malik's henchman Ryuuki sees the entire scene unfolding from the passenger seat of the getaway car. His eye twitches uncontrollably - incompetence tends to do that to him./

Ry: …Can that really happen?

/But before he can say more, driver Reggie throws himself at the window like an overexcited retriever, pressing Ryuuki down and nearly breaking his back./

Ry: OOF

Rg: Sir!! 

Sir, call off the engagement, the fan brigade is on your ass!! Get in now!!

/The rest is history.../

/Back to present day, where the two uneasy companions are sitting inside 3 Sisters Sundae Gukbap in a window-facing booth. Ryuuki's face is dark with the memory of that indignation, while Reg is sweating buckets./

/In front of them are two cups of water and a meagre plate of sundae to share. If there were any side dishes, they might have already polished it off. Somebody from this dining party is a miser.../

Rg: You saw that? You some kinda bird of prey?

Ry: Hardly. But one must first look to see. 

Regardless,

Malik’s account of the camera matches what I observed.

Now, it’s been two days and the footage hasn’t been posted.

Could the little worms possibly resist if they had it? 

They must know it’s missing. Maybe the aunties here aren’t so senile as to just give it over. 

/Ryuuki's stage whispers catch the ear of their waitress, who is slowly pushing her cart in their direction as if trying to delay this customer interaction for as long as possible. Reggie motions to Ryuuki to zip it!!!, while waving enthusiastically for her to come over./

/Pretty soon they have their entire order spread out in front of them. Besides the sundae, there is a generous plate of liver and lung slices, with condiments on the side. And...that's it! No hearty bowls of broth. Again, someone is a miser.../

Ry: Anyway, what is this stuff?

Rg: Guess!

Ry: ...You Koreans love your guessing games.

/Ryuuki mutters, holding a piece of sundae to his proboscis and giving it a cautious sniff. Meanwhile, Reg is sitting on the edge of his seat in...anticipation? Frustration?/

Rg: ...Got it? ...It's sundae!

That's what the restaurant...is...you never heard of sundae before??

/Reg says, a little taken aback. But at that very moment, Ryuuki seems to alight on what the substance is, and he immediately flicks it - to Reg's utter shock and indignation - across the table./

Ry: Blood. 

It's pig's blood. 

Rg: AH -

Ry: Revolting, I should have known,

you're a piece of shit for that.

Rg: Excuse m - 

says the guy who eats fish milt for breakfast!!

Ry: It's a whole food. 

And, it's palatable.

It's not dipping glass noodles in biowaste - 

Rg: You wanna go?? 

/At this point Reggie is standing up. His full-throated defense of Korean cuisine is so loud and unexpected, that the elderly gentlemen in the adjacent booth nearly duck for cover./

Elderly gents: ? ?

Ry: Raving idiot -

Rg: Yeah, go on!

You better stay in your corner and bark,

don't think I won't run over your weird-ass feet one of these days!

For the motherland!

/Ryuuki might have that walking stick, but Reggie has the gearshift, and they both know it. Ryuuki has nothing to say after that, and Reg barely sits down. Timidly, their waitress ventures,/

Waitress 1: …A-A-Anything else, Sirs?

/As if that shitshow didn't just happen, Reggie turns to her with a smile, and raises one polite finger./

Rg: Oh, me! Where's your washroom?

/A few moments later, Reggie exists the washrooms. But, he still looks uncomfortable for some other reason./

Rg: ...What's with Minatogawa Man today...it's just part of the pig??

And what's this whole foods song and dance?

Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

/As he makes his way back to his seat, he is still muttering under his breath, in a very unflattering imitation of Ryuuki,/

Rg: "Oh nooo, I prefer my body fluids organic. Sac to table, I always say!"

"And if it's, like, octopus balls, I'm going to need the literal balls..."

Shee-it.

/As Reggie catches sight of the salad bar, his voice drifts off. Glistening under the heat lamp are a delectable bevy of side dishes that look much better than the meagre appetizers that he'd summoned to their table./

/Perhaps thinking more about Ryuuki than himself, he gingerly reaches for a plate - /

Bn: Stop right there!

/A sharp voice rings out, causing Reg to duck for cover!/

Rg: I'm stopping?? 

/Reg turns around to see a young woman standing behind him. One arm is stretched out towards him, as if demanding payment, and the other is holding a woven basket./

/The woman is clearly a restaurant worker, although her outfit is a very ostentatious shade of blush pink, in contrast to the off-white worn by other wait staff. Her hair, black and somewhat sparse, is braided into two tight pigtails at the back of her head. She is noticeably short in stature, maybe a little under 5 feet./

/She shouldn't be so intimidating. And yet. The hardness of her stare and her stiff lower lip clearly signal that she is not to be trified with./

/Reg stares back at her, trying to decipher this unknown element that he is dealing with. But before he can fully rise to his feet, she shoves him back towards the ground with her powerful arms!/

Bn: If you don't have a ticket, you can't eat from the salad bar!

Rg: Whoa - hey!

What the fuck? This stuff’s not free?...

Hey, I'm a decent law-abiding guy!

Look!

/He whips out his credit card and holds it up high./

[SHINY!! NEVER BEEN USED!!]

/It's true, he's never offered to pay before. But the young woman seems utterly unmoved by this gesture. She gets up in his face and, with the same hard look in her eyes, intones,/

Bn: You're not decent, you're stealing,

Mama!

Rg: What?? Hold up - cancel -

/Before long one of the wait staff is running towards them. She looks almost the same as Reg and Ryuuki's waitress - in fact, this is that woman's twin sister./

Waitress 2: Hey! 

Your ma's in the back, 

What's up?

Bn: I found a thief. 

/She says with all confidence, pointing her accusatory finger at Reg, even as he holds out his hands helplessly in front of himself./

Rg: Okay, you know what?

Ryuuki can get his own grub, I'm out. 

/And, before he can be further lambasted, Reg walks away from the salad bar, completely red-faced, nearly chucking his unfilled plate at the pile. It lands with a loud clank!!/

/As he leaves, the young woman with pigtails watches him intently. She has a complicated expression on her face, as if she is not quite satisfied with how that interaction resolved, but her mind is too occluded with anger to walk back her words./

/Later, back at the table.../

Ry: You asking me to hobble around for my food, Reg?

Rg: Oh, give it a fucking rest, Ryuuki! You fake invalid.

Ry: Pardon?

/It would appear that the accusation of fakery, rather than Reg's tone, was the bridge too far. Reg, who is tousling his own hair into a spiky mess and wrapping his scarf around his arm multiple times like a kid throwing a tantrum, has the decency to look embarrassed this time./

Rg: Sorry, Man...for once,

just go get your own plate, would ya?

I can't stand bitches like that.

I mean, how uptight would you have to be...

to...

/He trails off as he sees the object of his ire approaching their table. On noticing the pink figure, he cannot hide his displeasure, and turns his nose way, way up./

/Ryuuki, who is not personally invested in this drama, turns to her and asks,/

Ry: Is there a problem?

/The young woman, who seems just as displeased to be at their table as Reg is to see her there, looks downwards petulantly. There is a long pause, and then she says flatly,/

Bn: The salad bar is being cleaned for 10 minutes.

...

/Then, as if forgetting her original purpose, she turns back to look at her waitress friend. That friend enthusiastically motions for her to continue!/

/When the young woman finally turns back to face her patrons, she looks a little nervous and confused, but nevertheless proceeds with her planned speech.../

Bn: Gulp...

...I also sell tickets.

Tickets are...2...

Would you like to buy a ticket?

/Reg, who up until now had been quiet and pretending to be fixated on a spot in front of him, suddenly slams his water cup onto the surface of the table with a loud THUMP!/

/A second later, he is on his feet. With a forceful motion, he throws his balled-up scarf at the young woman, and it hits her with a soft whump! Although it does not physically hurt her, she is clearly shocked by his incivility: her eyes narrow, and the stiff lower lip becomes an even tighter seal./

/Ryuuki, who is the stronger of the two and intimately understands when force should and should not be used on a mission, nearly jumps out of his seat at Reg's excessive conduct./

Ry: Reg.

Reg.

Bn: I'm being helpful.

Rg: With that garbage attitude??

/At some point during his tirade, Reg had picked up the saucer of gochujang from their table, and was holding it up above his head in a threatening way./

Rg: Here, take this garbage and -

/But before Reg's arm could move any further, a large and powerful hand comes up to stop him!/

Rg: ...

You -

/Reg stares incredulously at the young woman, not even 5 feet tall, who has thrust her arms up in the air to stop him from carrying out his campaign of humiliation. Holding his arms in place like a trussed turkey, she glares up at him, her nostrils flared, with nary a hint of fear or backing down./

/For a moment, Reg simply stares at her. And then, he freaks out./

Rg: You arrogant little

Piece of s -

/The young woman tips his arm ever so slightly, causing him to drop the saucer of gochujang onto his own face./

Ry: ...Ah.

/Ryuuki proclaims flatly, sitting back down. As Reg lets out an indignant howl that causes the entire restaurant to shake./

Rg: AUGH

/In the back of the restaurant, squatting among the baskets of produce and shelves of washtubs and packing containers, and diligently cutting thick slices of bossam for takeaways, is Auntie. She is fully suited up with her chef's cap, cooking sleeves, and rubber anti-slip boots - although a small portion of her curly hair still peeks out from the edges of her cap. Despite the explosive hubbub inside the restaurant, Auntie is calm and unperturbed, the lion's share of her attention going towards her work./

Auntie: I see,

That's what all the hollering was about?

Waitress 2: Yes...

Binna got fired up,

And forgot to offer the tickets again.

It was an honest mistake...

Then, when she tried to correct herself...

/The waitress trails off. Both waitresses stand in awkward silence, awaiting Auntie's judgment. It does not take long for it to come./

Auntie: It's my fault.

/For a moment, Auntie looks despondent. But the moment passes quickly. Clear-eyed and decisive, she lifts her head and looks in the direction of the dining area./

Auntie: Is that fellow still here?