Secret Relationships

Chapter 5

An Utterly Ordinary Life

Clunk, clunk.

A hefty subway car raced along the thin steel rails. The weighty yet steady shaking inside almost felt like being in a cradle. It was the perfect morning commute for a working man who hadn’t been able to fully shake free of last night’s sleep.

“Oh my god!”

While dozing off, I was jerked awake by high-pitched voices. When I looked up, the woman standing in front of me quickly realized how loud she was being.

“Oops!”

She apologized to me and those around her, but soon continued her conversation and thrust the screen of her phone in the face of her friend, the woman sitting next to me.

“They’re releasing a print edition…!”

She’d lowered her voice significantly to be considerate to those around her, but the excitement was still very much there. I couldn’t help but steal a glance myself.

“What’s that?”

“You don't know? It’s a web novel that’s become super popular lately. There’s a webtoon version, and it’s even being made into a drama.”

“Oooh.”

The woman next to me gave her friend a reaction of subpar interest in this newfound information. I pulled my eyes away from the stranger’s phone screen and suppressed the grin trying to form on my lips.

Indeed, the subway was the ideal mode of transportation for weary commuters.

* * *

“Oh my god!”

But the utterly ordinary life of a nine-to-fiver wasn’t easy by any means.

After plowing through a mountain of morning tasks that had been thrust upon me, I finally finished going through some papers I had to process on my own. I stood up from my seat when a dizzy spell hit me. Meanwhile, I felt a familiar feeling in my nose.

Before I could raise my hand to my face to check, my manager, who happened to be walking toward me, cried out in alarm. “Daon, your nose!”

“I’ll go clean myself up.”

Everyone else was fine, and it wasn’t even lunchtime. Meanwhile, I was putting on a one-man show. Mortified, I couldn’t even look my coworkers in the face when they asked me if I was okay, I just rushed out of the office. I was turning the hallway corner toward the restroom when…

“Whoa!”

“Ack!”

Someone turned the corner at the exact same time as me, with the same long stride as mine. We almost collided into each other, but managed to stop ourselves just in time. Feeling my heart pounding in my chest, I caught my breath and looked up to see who it was.

Oh. Of course.

“Uh… Bloody nose?” asked Sunghyeon Joo, his head tilted in confusion. He was one of my coworkers.

“Yes. Oh, it started in the office.”

My answer came out in muffled mumbles, but I answered to the best of my ability. I was holding both nostrils shut, so my voice sounded silly.

“Ah.” He looked relieved that it wasn’t his fault.

“Yes,” I said politely. Then I added, “Well, then.”

“Right.”

If there was one thing we could agree on at this moment, it was that we both wanted to get out of such an awkward situation as soon as possible. After awkwardly giving each other a nod, we started in opposite directions. I could feel the tension leaving my body as I listened to his footsteps get farther and farther behind me.

The most difficult part of utterly ordinary office culture was probably interpersonal relationships.

Luckily, I’d always been good at masking my way through uncomfortable situations. Whether it was my circumstances or my feelings, if it was something I didn’t want to share, I had great skill in hiding it and looking like a cool cat.

Thankfully, in an office, as long as you did good work, no one pried into your private life. There was no energy or emotion to be wasted in that respect. Of course, I knew better than anyone how to maneuver around such matters. Upon transferring the skills I’d built during my school years over to my professional life, I did not have any problems when it came to my office relationships.

Sunghyeon Joo, however, was a small but constant hurdle in what was an otherwise smooth ride.

We were in the same department and were of the same rank. While he was a thorn in my side, he wasn’t a particularly bad person. In fact, he seemed to be more sociable and got along better with more people than I did. But for some reason, we didn’t get along from the start.

It was hard to pinpoint who had started it, but we definitely felt how uncomfortable it was between us. And though I wasn’t rash enough to outwardly express it, maybe this time was an exception, because I could feel how still I got every time I ran into him. Maybe there was just zero chemistry between us.

I shook off my useless thoughts and rushed to the bathroom. I took my hand off my nose and bent over the sink.

“Ahhh… My poor blood…”

This hadn’t happened in a while, but it was familiar. When getting a nosebleed from fatigue, it was imperative that you release the heat that had accumulated in your body.

I watched as my blood dripped into the white sink and down the drain. This was a tendency I hadn’t been able to shake, but I couldn’t help but feel what a waste of blood it was.

Thankfully, the bleeding stopped before I got even more dizzy. I’d been overworking lately, so after telling myself that I would be more mindful about pacing myself, I cleaned up with cold water.

When I made it back to the office, I was once again bombarded with “Are you okay?” from various people.

I smiled awkwardly and reassured them that I was fine, then I sat back at my desk. If I were to have my lunch in peace, there was one more task I had to complete.

Click, click.

I stacked the printouts on my desk neatly onto a clipboard. I stood up and turned around just in time to lock eyes with Sunghyeon Joo, whose desk was across the room from mine.

Pretending nothing happened, I pushed my chair in and went on my way.

Sunghyeon Joo, who had too quickly lowered his gaze back down to his monitor, glanced up again in suspicion. As I got closer, I could almost hear him saying, Don’t come over here. Don’t come over here.

Come to think of it, I think it was his transparency that bothered me. An educated adult, old enough to know better and trying to carve out a career for himself, was showing his every thought and emotion on his face. Besides, he looked completely normal… even beyond normal—he looked unnecessarily good.

And it wasn’t that he was only like that with me. He was just the type of person who couldn't really hide anything, and yet he got along just fine with people. Most probably thought he was sincere and authentic.

But as for me… I don’t want to get near you.

“Sunghyeon, can you look at this for me?”

Unless it’s for something like this.

“What’s that?”

I stood by his desk, holding out the clipboard. Once again, there was an awkward tension in the air. Sunghyeon reluctantly turned his gaze toward me.

“Materials for the meeting tomorrow morning.”

I could hear him thinking, And you're bringing this to me because…?

“It needs one more review. Are you busy? If you’re in the middle of something, I can send it to Minah.”

“Give it here. I’ll review it and send it up.”

“Thank you.”

No need to stare at his sour face for longer than necessary. After his humdrum response, I handed him the clipboard, said a curt thank you, and immediately turned to leave. I was swiftly returning to my desk when a coworker I was passing peeked out from their desk.

“Daon, do you have a moment to look at this issue that just blew up?” they asked with urgency.

“Ah… That’s not in my skill set, so I’m afraid I can’t.”

It was wise not to lay a finger on work you knew you couldn’t handle correctly. I smiled apologetically.

They nodded in understanding. “I understand. No worries.”

I then felt a prickling gaze on the back of my head.

“What a prick.”

I ignored it.

“I’m heading out. Good night.”

I happily shut down my work computer and stood up. Across from me, my manager popped her head over the partition to reveal the surprise on her face.

“Oh my, look at the time. Yes, have a good night, Daon. You had a nosebleed today, so be sure to get some good rest.”

As I picked up my bag, I noticed the dark circles beneath her eyes and couldn't help but ask, “What about you…?”

But she was in good spirits. “Ah, I still have some work left to do… Overtime!”

“All right then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I gave her a small smile, finished throwing my bag over my shoulder, and walked out of the office. I saw down the hallway that the elevator doors happened to be open, so I rushed over, barely making it inside before the doors shut.

“Ah.”

Sunghyeon Joo was the one already in the elevator. It was too late to step out like a sulky child, so we exchanged stiff nods and stood some distance apart.

It wasn’t long before he broke the awkward silence. “You’re heading out early.”

I didn’t hesitate to answer. “It’s six o’clock.”

It was thirty minutes past the official end to my work day, but I didn’t bother providing specifics.

“Oh. Right,” he answered with a slightly mocking tone.

I noticed he had nothing with him, but what did it matter to me? Maybe if he finished his work on time, he wouldn’t have to stay so late. I kept my eyes fixed on the floor numbers that steadily worked their way downward.

“Are you trying to catch the shuttle?”

Sunghyeon proceeded to ask another random question, his head tilted inquisitively.

I had no interest in putting in the effort to hide my annoyance and replied briskly, “No, it’s easy to get home with public transportation, and I have a car for when I feel like it.”

“Aah.”

Of course you do, his tone seemed to sarcastically imply. Or maybe it was more along the lines of something incredulous—You dare to get off work early all on your own?

Whatever it was, I had no interest in saying anything else to him. Furthermore, we happened to arrive at the first floor.

“Good night.”

“Yes, have a good night.”

Neither of us wanted to see each other tomorrow, so there was no “See you tomorrow.”

I walked swiftly out of the office building. Once I felt relaxed, I unconsciously sniffed.

Startled, I put my finger to my nose, but thankfully, it was dry.

It had been quite some time since I’d gotten a nosebleed.

In college, my nickname had been “Bloody Fountain” due to my frequent nosebleeds. Thanks to my inescapable poverty, I had to force myself to juggle up to six tutoring gigs on top of the all-nighters I pulled to win scholarships, leading to daily nosebleeds.

Now I had my own place in a neighborhood convenient for transportation and drove a car I bought solely for convenience. As a respectable member of the workforce, I could now claim that I’d put my poverty behind me. However, it was possible that the memory of poverty, in the form of an ugly inferiority complex and a wicked pride, was deeply rooted in my bones.

Still, I had done the absolute best I could to attain this utterly ordinary life. I still loathe being poor, but I continue to live on, shrewdly taking up space in the position I earned for myself.