A HEROIC EPIC STARTING FROM ZERO

1

“There’s a traveling bard in the village?”

A look of astonishment crossed Subaru Natsuki’s face as he repeated the unexpected word. He turned around, cleaning rag in hand, seeming rather awkward in the butler’s uniform he was wearing today (as per usual). The awkward movements he made while washing the window could be chalked up to his lingering injuries from the day before.

Demon beasts had paid a visit to Marquis Roswaal’s manor and the nearest village, Earlham—a crisis that ultimately ended with few casualties, one of them being Subaru, who had earned more than a few painful badges of honor.

With the recent chaos well behind them, life in Roswaal Manor and Earlham Village had largely returned to normal. Subaru’s injuries were mostly healed, and he was starting to help out with chores again, partly as a form of rehabilitation.

“That’s right—a bard! I overheard Ram talking about it when she came back from the village earlier. Have you ever seen a bard, Subaru?”

The girl who answered Subaru had a charming, silvery voice and long, silvery hair. She was so confoundingly beautiful that it wouldn’t seem strange if artists everywhere broke their brushes out of frustration. But one look at her enchanting violet eyes, brimming with curiosity, or the unmasked excitement burning in her pink cheeks, and that frustration would quickly be replaced by adoration.

Subaru certainly thought so, especially during these moments of childlike mirth she had from time to time.

“E M T (Emilia-tan’s a Major Treasure).”

“Huh? Did you say something?”

The confused girl’s name was Emilia, Subaru’s savior and his heart’s desire.

He laughed at the innocent way she cocked her head and said, “Nah, I haven’t seen a bard myself…but you look super excited, Emilia-tan.”

“I don’t look excited—I am excited. Bards sing, dance, and tell stories, don’t they? So this bard probably knows all sorts of stories… Hey, Subaru?”

Emilia clasped her hands together and gazed hopefully at Subaru. The sweet way she called his name, the sparkle in her eyes looking up at him—no man alive could possibly say no to a request from a girl as beautiful as Emilia. At the very least, Subaru couldn’t.

“Okay, I hear you. I’ll wrap things up here and ask permission to go.”

“Sorry to bother you for such a selfish reason.”

“Nah, it’s all good. I doubt anyone expects a lump on the mend like me to do much cleaning anyway, so our date takes priority.”

“Ah, that’s right. Since we’ll be going out somewhere together…I suppose this would be considered a date.”

With a glance at Emilia—who was blissfully unaware of the sinful beauty of her smile—Subaru dropped his cleaning rag back in a bucket of water and left the room. Through the windows in the hallway, he could see Earlham Village in the distance.

“A bard, huh…”

No word evoked fantasy-world vibes more than bard. While he had contained his excitement in front of Emilia, his heart was already racing.

A bard’s cheerful singing voice spun stories of worlds and the people who inhabited them. As Subaru walked down the hallway alone, his anticipation grew with every eager step.

2

“And now, lend me your ears, and I’ll sing you a song—‘The Draffin Betrayed by the Setting Sun.’”

A dark, tragic melody fell on the village square like early summer rain. In the center of the square, atop a crude stage of stacked wooden boards, stood a performer strumming a stringed instrument that resembled a guitar or a ukulele.

The symmetrical instrument warbled with a lively timbre, but the nearly palpable melancholy in the air was a testament to the musician’s technique. The mood in the village square was spectacularly dark.

Drawn by the gloomy melody and the captivating lyrics, the villagers came to the square, their eyes all distant. In the crowd were several old ladies whose eyes were swollen from mourning the end of the world. Even in the bleakest moments of the demon beast attack, none of them looked as dreadful as they did now.

“If life must be so painful, then I would rather die. But I cannot die. I’m not allowed to die…”

In the story, Draffin was betrayed by his closest friend and fiancée. He stood on the bridge where they had once exchanged a solemn vow, and as the light of the setting sun illuminated him, he pondered flinging himself off the edge and ending it all.

Despite the fact that she was singing and playing an instrument, the bard’s posture and gestures gave the performance an incredible sense of realism, immersing her listeners in the story. When a lone tear rolled down her cheek, no one in the audience could hold back any longer. Some even started to wail and whimper.

“Bubbles bursting from his lungs, he sinks to the quiet river floor. O, Draffin. O, O, Draffin…”

As Draffin surrendered to his darkest impulse and reached the bottom of the river, the helpless wind and flowers mourned his tragic death. And then the curtain fell—

“Geez, could you pick a more depressing song?!”

Before the bard’s last note died out, Subaru butted in with a one-liner out of sheer frustration.

“Eep!”

The Bard of Bad Ends gave a start—and the story world encapsulating the square came crashing down. The villagers snapped back to their senses and exchanged glances.

“Oh! Um…” “Yikes, why’m I crying?” “Oh dear, the floodgates open so easily with age…” “Draffin, you’re just like me!” “That bard girl is really cute!”

With tears in their eyes, everyone in the crowd started sharing their thoughts on the performance. And after they got that off their chests, they turned to look at the back row, where Subaru was trying to sneak out—

“Thanks for killing the mood, Subaru!”

—and they yelled so angrily that Subaru also jumped in surprise.

3

“Allow me to introduce myself again. I am Liliana, a traveling bard!”

There was still a hint of childishness in the way she bowed her head. Her vibrant, curious eyes and her yellow hair matched her fiery personality. Her pigtails, thin cloak, and dancer’s garb were all adorned with decorations made from tree nuts and animal bones. She was short in stature, but her limbs were long, and her skin was tan and healthy. Everything about her exuded wanderer.

“Well, pleased to meet you. I’m Subaru Natsuki, an uproarious, baroque handyman. I am the jack-of-all-chores making waves at that manor you see beyond yonder road.”

“Upper or he us…? Broke handyman…? Er—I mean, hello! Yes, it is very nice to meet you.”

Even with a stranger, Subaru steamrolled the conversation. His social graces were distinctly ungracious. Liliana forced her dubious frown beneath a fake smile, desperately trying not to offend the people who had just introduced themselves as associates of the local lord.

But Liliana’s guard was quickly shattered.

“That song you just sang was really good! Even now, I feel like I might cry…” Overcome with emotion, Emilia grabbed Liliana’s hand and gushed. Her enthusiasm took Liliana aback at first, but she quickly smiled when she realized she was being complimented.

“Ohh, thank you! It is an honor to have such an attentive listener! I am still far from perfect, but hearing such praise is more than enough to— Hweh?!”

Liliana returned Emilia’s enthusiasm with a smile at first…but when the bard got a good look at her admirer, her jaw dropped, and she froze.

Subaru’s party looked at her with surprise as Liliana murmured, her eyes still in a daze, “A-are you a goddess…?”

“Er—pardon?”

“I—I mean—I never seen such a girl as purty as you! My oh my! That hair, that skin—how did ya get ’em like that?! You even human?!”

She bounced in a circle around Emilia, fawning over her beauty. The extreme reaction paralyzed Emilia for a moment, but Subaru couldn’t agree with Liliana’s assessment more. Emilia was a little too oblivious of her otherworldly beauty (though that was part of her charm).

Then Liliana abruptly stopped, grabbed her instrument, and bowed. “The muse has spoken! I present to you my new song—‘Ohhh My Goddess.’”

Liliana took a quiet breath before her feet began stomping a quiet rhythm. Then her delicate fingertips strummed a new melody.

“Deeply bewitching are you, shining like a treasure’s gentle hue, your gaze—a cavern of violet gemstones twinkling through. Your silvery hair, flowing like tears of the moon in pain. Your delicate face, carved by an artisan’s hand unrestrained. Your skin, white like fresh fallen snow, knows not the feel of a trampling boot. Pointed and long, your ears… Your ears… Your ears—?”

“----!”

Liliana’s flowing song abruptly stopped. Subaru watched as her golden eyes filled with doubt, then realization, then shock.

She quickly connected the dots in her own lyrics. “Silvery hair and pointed ears… You…youse the Witch of Jealousy!”

Subaru clamped a hand on Liliana’s mouth. “Okay, cut! That was a nice song, but we have reason to believe it’s violated copyright! Once we conduct a formal investigation, we shall issue a statement, so please forget any interactions you’ve had with our firm and—”

“Subaru.”

Naturally, it was Emilia who put a stop to this desperate attempt at a cover-up. She shot a frown at Subaru, who was currently restraining Liliana with a joint lock.

“I appreciate your concern, Subaru, but you should know it’s wrong to attack a girl like that! Bad Subaru!”

“What am I, a dog…? I mean, don’t be like this, Emilia-tan.”

“It’s okay, Subaru. Trying to hide the truth isn’t the answer.”

Emilia was bold and firm, but the same couldn’t be said for Subaru. Seeing her become the victim of undeserved condemnation made his heart ache.

Emilia was born from the union of an elf and a human—in other words, she was a half-elf. This world was filled with all sorts of people who weren’t human, but some were objects of prejudice—half-elves in particular. Because of this, Emilia experienced a great deal of hardship.

Emilia may have forgiven Liliana, but Subaru couldn’t ignore her words—words that had shackled Emilia for so long. Reluctantly, he released the girl’s wrists and elbows, then freed her shoulders and arms.

“Pfah! My arms! My arms! Please don’t break my moneymakers! I’s just a young maiden with soft silky skin—hands off, chore boy!”