“So I can go to heaven if I confess my sins?”

“Confessing your sins isn’t a thing, only you can forgive yourself and promise not to commit said sin anymore.” The monk and I stared at the big building where the big statue was. “Besides, are you sure you want to go to heaven?”

“Why not? Wouldn’t it be natural to want to go there?”

“And who decided that it was natural?” 

“Sounds a lot better than going to hell.” He smiled.

“Do you know why out of the six realms, the human realm is the most desirable place to be?” I stared at the ridiculous words coming from the monk. “Heaven is far too comfortable to learn about the suffering of the world, and hell is too sufferable to learn about the comforts of life. Us humans that live in the middle, have the opportunity to learn about both, thus giving us the biggest chance to reach enlightenment. Even angels have to die, afterall.”

We arrived at the wooden carving of a ship’s wheel on our walk. He said it represented eternal reincarnation. 

“Then I want to be a cat in my next life.”

He laughed.

***

Hearing something plink at his window, Finn woke up after the third time it happened. With heavyset feet, he shuffled to the window, opening it. He thought it was one of the boys always hanging out with him. Instead, under his window stood someone wholly unexpected. It was Esther. Her golden hair glistened in the moonlight. She was about to throw another pebble until her beautiful purple eyes noticed him.

“Ah, there you are." She said cheerfully.

“Esther? What are you doing here?” It was in the middle of the night.

“Come down, I want to talk with you.”

“Right now?” Finn had also wanted to talk to her. He didn’t mean to shove her and wanted to apologise, his father said that it was the man’s job to do that if they hurt a woman. 

“Give me a second.” He whispered loudly.

What did she want to talk about? They didn’t actually know each other that well. Did she finally get hurt by that girl again? That must be it. She acted like she wasn’t interested in what he said, yet here she was, in his backyard in the middle of the night. 

His heart rate rose a bit higher and with a light gait, left his room. Listed down the stairs; careful not to wake up his exhausted dad and finally arrived at the front door. 

His heart rate rose a bit higher and with a light gait, left his room. But there was a slight problem, the stairs liked to creak whenever someone stepped on them. His exhausted dad was a light sleeper. Searching with his toes where the creaks liked to creak, he successfully found himself at the front door. Safe and sound. His heart? Not so much.

Grabbing the door handle and slowly turning it, the mechanism in the door began to operate, making it ring out clicking noises. It reverberated across the entrance. In the slight gap he managed to open, stood a silhouette. Esther was already in front of the door, waiting, smiling. Finn couldn’t help but let out a yelp as her face was closer than he thought.

“Did I scare you?” Her crescent moon shaped eyes sparkled in the darkness like small amethysts.

“Not really…” It wasn’t fear he felt.

“Come follow me!” The words flowing from her soft lips felt almost enchanting, ordering him to follow after her.

“Where are we going?” They were heading into the forest out back.

“Just a bit further?” She said without turning. Her golden hair flowed like wings under the bright full moon, bouncing beautifully each time she took a step. It was like he was following a fairy.

“What do you mean?” They had walked quite the distance. “What did you want to talk about?” 

He felt his heart thumping in his mouth. They finally stopped. Standing in the middle of the moonlit forest was him and Esther. 

His father had often played with him in this very forest, sometimes even camping through the night, saying a knight must know how to sleep outside. He was fond of his dad, he wanted to be just like him. Esther turned around, her smile shone brighter than even the moon above.

“This looks like a good spot.”

“A spot for what?” His heart wanted to jump out of his mouth.

“I have a confession I want to make.” She hid her dainty hands behind her back. 

Oh, my Goddess, a confession! Calm down! Finn felt his palms get sweaty, and his knees felt heavy. Play it cool, Finn. Remember how she called you stupid. Yeah, you don’t like being called stupid by her, right?

“W-what is it?” Damn it, his voice cracked.

“I think you already know.” She smiled shyly. “Close your eyes for me?”

Finn was utterly done. She could call him stupid every day of the week if she wanted. With his eyes closed, he heard her soft footsteps inch closer and closer. 

“You know Finn…” She trailed the last letter of his name. 

“I really. Really, really.” He heard the smile in her voice. “Hate people like you.” A sudden sharp feeling poked at his neck, throwing him over backwards. Opening his eyes in shock, Esther was standing there. The dagger she held glinted in the summer night.

What? Why didn’t it pierce his neck?

“Huh? Did you just stab me?” The boy on the ground said stupidly.

This wasn't in my plan.

“Stay away!” He scrambled to his feet to get away from me, before tripping over his own feet, planting his face firmly in the dirt. I can’t let him get away!

With heavy feet, I ran over to him. He had turned over like a turtle, legs sprawling out towards me. “What are you doing!” He crawled backwards, eventually hitting his back against one of the many trees in the dark forest.

I stood above him, my feet between his squirming legs. I raised my dagger again, I must have just missed the last time, I still wasn’t familiar with this body. Seeing my dagger, as it shined in the dark, Finn raised his arms to protect himself. Idiot, I can stab it through that opening! 

“Stop!”

I stabbed him in the throat. 

“Aaa!”

I heard him scream, but the soft sensation of flesh was nowhere to be felt. My dagger had bounced off.

I stabbed again.

It bounced off again. A golden circle sparkled under the tip of my dagger.

What? 

Finn looked at me with a shocked expression before moving his body. I saw the horizon flip over for the second time today, a shoe had landed squarely into my gut. The dagger flew from my hand, shining like a shooting star.

Trying to gather air back into my lungs, only made me let go of small heaves. It hurt. I couldn’t move my body. Why didn’t the dagger go through his throat?

“You’re crazy!” He stood up. “You’ve gone insane!”

Don’t say that. You know I’m not insane. Because I know I’m not.

“What do I do, what do I do?”

It just hurt so much. A rib must have been broken. 

“Dad, I have to wake up dad!”

The cold grass caressed my face. I had to run. I can’t let Victoria find out-

“You did this to yourself!”

Something approached and slammed into my head. My mind went blank.

***

“Wake up sleepyhead, class’ done already.” 

Where am I? A girl was sitting on my desk as she checked her phone.

“Hellooo? Earth to ***” A hand appeared in front of me, waving back and forth. 

“Karrie?” What’s she doing here?

“Karrie? Who’s that? I’m Ann, stupid. Your one and only friend. Did you have a silly dream or something?”

I glanced around, it was my old classroom. There were some formulas written on the blackboard, but it seemed like greek to me, literally. 

Ann was wearing our school uniform.

“What’s the date?”

“Wow, gross... Did you read too many stupid books again? Here check it out.”

Turning her phone toward me, I saw the date. It was 20XX.

“That’s impossible.”

I could hear the bustling noises of people walking outside our classroom. There were always people talking outside our classroom.

“What do you mean?” Ann placed a pencil on the tip of her nose, balancing it.

“You are supposed to be dead.” The pencil snapped in half, each half making a sound as it hit my desk.

“Oh, right.”

The classroom shattered, everything disappearing. 

Ann was currently laying in a casket. Countless people had gathered around it, all wearing black. They looked familiar but I couldn't recognize any of them, they all had a funeral veil on. The sounds of sobbing and wailing could be heard all over. It was maddening.

“Is this better?” Ann smiled.

Plastered all around were huge flower crests. The fragrant smell coming from them did not help my confusion. Like a vice, the walls of flowers began pressing into me. With nowhere to run, the wailing people grabbed onto me, my legs, my waist, my arms, my shoulders and at last, my head. Dragging. Dragging me into the ground. Their incessant cries filled my thoughts. They dragged me down with their disgusting and slimy hands. 

Standing atop her own casket, Ann stared down at me. 

“Tell me.”

A pair of brown eyes pierced my own. I didn’t want to look at her.

“Did you really have to kill me?”

She was smiling in the corner of my eye.

***

“You did well my son. Just go back to sleep. Your dad will sort out this misunderstanding."

I couldn’t see.

“It wasn’t a misunderstanding! She tried to kill me! Look!”

My head ached.

“I understand, go back to your room.”

“But Dad!”

My hands were tied.

“I won’t say it twice.”

He paused. “What are you going to do”

My legs were tied.

“Go to your room.”

The sound of footsteps getting farther and farther away. A door opened and slammed shut.

“I know you are awake, kid.”

“Where am I?”

“Somewhere secret.” He answered. “Oh I almost forgot.”

The thing covering my eyes vanished. A lamp blinded my eyes struggling to adapt to the brightness. There were a bunch of tools hanging on the wall, hammers, saws and knives. It looked like some carpenter’s workshop.

“So you are Victoria's daughter?” It was the captain of the guards, Finn's father.

“Can you let me go?” I needed to stay calm in these scenarios. 

“Sorry little girl, but I don’t think so.”

“What do you want?” 

“Straight to the point I see.” The corners of his mouth reached his eyes. Calm yourself, don’t waste your energy.

“Ah, ah ah!” He sang, wagging his finger at me. “Don’t waste your energy, no one has broken free from those knots before!” He seemed proud.

“Why are you doing this?” Don’t panic. Buy time. Where is the way out?

“Why? Isn’t that obvious?”

“What about your son? What would Finn think?”

He grabbed my head. “How dare you utter his name. “It doesn’t matter what he thinks! He just needs to be safe!” His face looked like the paintings of demons the temple liked to hang up. I felt a familiar scent in the dusty air. The rope was digging into my wrists.

“You’re insane.”

“Me? Insane? You tried to kill my son! And you have the gall to call me insane!” Some of his spit landed on my cheek. “What did he do to you!”

What did he do? “It’s personal”

“Hah! Is that right? Personal.” His face was devoid of emotion.

“Then would it be personal if I paid your mother a visit? What was her name again, Victoria?” He licked his smiling lips, then glared at the air.

“That damn vixen! Always flaunting herself everywhere she goes! Who does she think she is!” He moved his arms erratically around, making them cast long shadows in the room.

“That’s right, I can just pay her a visit. A personal one.” 

“Don’t…” I mumbled.

He took a step closer. “What was that?”

“Don’t…” He turned his ear toward me. Getting closer. “Don’t you dare touch her!” I slammed into his head with my own, falling over in the process, chair and all. The pain from my broken rib made my adrenaline spike.

“You touch her and I will kill-”

The tip of his boot dug into my gut. “You demon brat!” I spat out blood.

“That does it, after I’m finished with you,” he yanked my hair, “your pretty little mother is next.”

He set me back up. I had to get out of here, Victoria was in danger. I have to at least tell Gale. Think, there was always a way out-

He pulled out a small box with a flower in it. There was a single flower. A white lily. He went to one of the walls, taking with him a hammer. He placed the pure white lily under my left hand.

“What are you doing?”

Lifting his hammer, he positioned it above my left hand.

“Hey wait.”

The hammer ascended higher, high enough for me to crane my neck. He was grinning.