“Dayum, she's hot!”. That was Lizzy’s reaction in front of Sam’s pictures. Regarding Melissa, she was rather pleased she matched with such a hottie; however, the timing felt off… After all, she was browsing Hana’s profile at the moment and (as appealing as Sam was) they could have matched in a more fitting moment.

Lizzy: “Hey, you asked me why I dated you back in the day, innit?”

Melissa, rather annoyed: “Stop playing brit, girl: you’re merely ¼ limey.”

Lizzy, trolling Melissa: “Ye wanna know or what, mate?”

Melissa: “Stop it and spill the tea, you annoying wife!”

Lizzy, being sassy: “Oh~ we’ve got some grumpy girl over there~! Why~? Because a real woman popped up while you were looking at some kid’s IG?”

Melissa: “First: Hana’s a grown adult; second: she’s finishing her first year of master degree in college; third: darling… go fuck yourself unless you finally want to tell me why you dated me back in the day… 🫰”

Lizzy, pretending to be offended: “Oh, so mean, so bothersome… okay, I’ll tell ya: I dated you because you already had them big tiddies over there. [points toward Melissa’s chest] And you know who else got huge milkers? That girl you just matched. So, hurry the fuck up or (I swear!) I’ll bang her before you can blink, fatass!”

At this instant, Melissa wondered why Lizzy was her best friend, and how she could keep being friends with her for so long. Then, she remembered Lizzy is hot and amazing in bed. Also, the latter was basically implying “Sam is my type, but I’ll stay aside so you can take your shot with her instead”. Lizzy was a real bro.

Melissa couldn’t waste such an opportunity: she sent <Hello gorgeous 😘> to Sam; then (a few minutes later) the latter responded <Howdy 💖>. That was quick. She wasn’t the kind of douche who matches with you then lets you hang alone. That girl seemed genuinely nice. As they chatted, Melissa told Lizzy: “You know… you have pretty nice milkers as well, to be honest.”; her friend then told her she’s a pervert.

Meanwhile, Melissa gave more and more attention to her match, rather than focusing on her friend.

Sam: <So… What are you doing right now? 😊>

Melissa: <Hanging out with my sexy bestie~! 🫶 And you?>

Sam: <Nothing… Am bored 😕>

Melissa, sending a selfie of them both to Sam: <Wanna join us, cutie? ❤️‍🔥>

Sam: <Ah-ha, I appreciate the thought 😅 but I’d like to be friends before we do anything. You’re OK with that? 🫣>

Melissa: <… Like a friend date?>

Sam: <Exactly!>

Melissa: <Can I bring this marvelous lady with us? She’s my wifey~, so…>

Sam: <The more we are… 😁>

Lizzy, hugging Melissa: “Girl… I love you!”

Melissa, winking: “May the best woman win, honey.”

Lizzy: “You bitch! Don’t you dare to miss your shot with her!”

Melissa, feeling teaseful: “Oh~! It seems my marvelous wife has~ a~ lil’~ crush~ on my new friend Sammy?!”

Lizzy: “I’ve got a crush on her humongous pillows. But tonight, I’ll content myself with yours. C’mere you skank!”

Melissa, Playing dumb-cute: “Not nice~! You’re a meanie, Alicia~!”

Sam, sending another message: <I end my shift at 1pm next sunday, you girls wanna hang out at my boba store? Your drinks will be on the house! 😚>

Melissa: <Hell yeah! I LOVE boba!>

And, as Lizzy loved them as well, they fixed their meet-up at the following Sunday as planned.

Then, Hana appeared. Not at Lizzy’s place, mind you: she just sent a message to our dear friend Melissa.

Hana: <Good evening, Meli! Are you busy right now?>

Melissa, smiling behind her phone: <Hey cutie! I’m just hanging out with my mendokusai (annoying) bestie right now. 😌 Wanna see her? [Sends a selfie of her with Lizzy]>

Hana, double-tapping the picture: <So pretty~> <Anyway, I wondered if you would like us to hang-out some day, maybe?>

Melissa: <If you’re free next sunday, I’ll hang-out with the idiot beside me, and a friend I just met. Wanna join us there, sweetie?>

Hana: <Oh my, yes!>

Melissa, to Sam: <BTW, can I bring another friend with us sunday?>

Sam: <Again: the more we are… ☺️>

After this answer, Melissa leaned on Lizzy and, soon after, started to snore lightly. She fell asleep. The problem was:

• Hana and Sam were both waiting for Melissa’s confirmation; 

• Sam felt like she matched yet another catfish

• Lizzy was horny, and wished they’d get laid soon enough.

Moreover, Sam was on the verge of closing this match: she didn’t want to cling on a match just because the girl was hot. Yeah, better be safe than sorry… Except that, feeling she should answer Sam for Melissa’s sake, Lizzy grabbed her phone, entered her PIN code (which is Lizzy’s birthday, by the way), and sent <Hey! Meli fell asleep. It’s OK for both of us (and her friend) about Sunday. See ya there!> <PS: you’re hot 🥵> to Sam.

Happy she helped, Lizzy put down Melissa’s phone, sight of relief, and began to pet Melissa’s head. She just forgot to tell Hana it was OK for her to come as well. The young lady was left with a <seen> on Instagram.

She started to worry, and she didn’t even know why. After all, there was no reason Melissa could be in danger (or worse: ghosting her!), but the thought that she could lose her only friend in the country concerned her. But was it the only reason?

Before she could meditate the thought, she received a most concerning answer.

Lizzy, through Melissa’s account: < Sup kiddo, sorry for the wait. Meli fell asleep… Poor Lizzy won’t get laid tonight. Dammit! 😫> <This idiot will send you the infos for the meetup ASAP! See ya next sunday!> <(PS: Meli’s kissin’ u)>.

This last message was a petty joke, and Hana blushed reading it. Yet, she stoically answered to thank the girl sleeping along Melissa (and felt jealous at the thought of them being this close).

Anyway, the week flew really fast: 

• Lizzy spent all week rehearsing with Rafflesia (her band), and was often arguing with Nash (the lead guitar) while the twins Dil and Sue (respectively bass player and drummer of Rafflesia) sported their (now usual) poker face before such a pathetic display; 

• Hana was cramming school to pass her finals and did her best to perform at work, finding solace by laying on her bed, tapping on her instant noodles stack, and receiving Melissa’s funny memes;

• Said Melissa did her best to work alongside Rosenthal (her shitty editor-in-chief) and her coworker / friendly acquaintance Pauline (who acted friendlier each day). 

Turns out the latter grew attracted to Melissa, who then asked her on a date and (as usual with our friend), they spent the night together. A night Pauline found most satisfying.