Tears spilled freely down my face, one after another. I didn’t bother wiping them away—they wouldn’t stop anyway. My eyes stayed unfocused as memories of my past resurfaced.

And the reason it hurt so much was simple.

It was my fault.

The food resting on my lap had long gone cold, and the sky above had begun to darken. No one was around, and I was grateful for that. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this—crying so helplessly over a past I thought I had already left behind.

It turned out I hadn’t.

I still regretted everything deeply. All the foolish things I had done, all the choices that led to my death—not once, but twice.

All for a man who wouldn’t have cared even if I had burned alive.

I wiped my tears and slowly stood up, finally regaining control of myself. My nerves had settled, my thoughts clearer now. It seemed I hadn’t healed as much as I believed.

All this time, pretending I was fine had only been my mind’s way of avoiding the pain.

But trauma couldn’t be ignored forever. I had to face it, cry when I needed to, and accept the truth. Someday, I would forget that I once lived a life I never truly lived for myself.

On my way back to my ward, I found myself standing by the lake again. The moon reflected softly across the water, flowing calmly as always.

As my thoughts settled, a sudden idea came to me.

Why not go swimming?

It was absurd. I hadn’t brought proper clothes to change into. Still, I needed to clear my head, and swimming felt right.

I was still wearing my pants and shirt, my previous clothes bundled in a bag. I pulled out my inner gown from the back, glanced around, and changed quickly.

Without hesitation, I slipped into the water.

Instantly, my body relaxed. The water soothed me as it moved around me, easing the tension I hadn’t realized I was carrying.

The lake wasn’t too deep or too shallow—just right. Even with my small frame, I swam easily, moving freely.

As I floated, I stopped caring about everything else. I let my body move however the water allowed. My gaze lifted toward the moon and stars above.

The view was breathtaking.

Everything about the Westwond estate was beautiful, even after generations of standing untouched.

Yet no matter how much wealth or power the Westwond household held, they could never own the moon and stars.

They belonged to no one. Not even the world itself. They existed on their own, beyond control or possession.

Despite being so distant, they influenced the world deeply, simply by existing. People depended on them without question.

Everyone admired the moon’s beauty, yet no one acknowledged the darkness that allowed it to shine.

The world was complicated. And unraveling such things wasn’t my concern.

I shook my head and smiled.

I wanted to be like the moon—not the darkness behind it. But even then, I wouldn’t forget that darkness. Without it, the moon wouldn’t be known at all.

Lost in thought, my eyes vaguely caught sight of someone standing at the shore.

Startled, I lost focus and balance. I tried to steady myself, but panic took over, making things worse. The harder I struggled, the faster I sank.

Without thinking, I cried out.

“Help! Help! He—”

The words cut off as water filled my mouth.

How was this happening?

I had been swimming perfectly fine just moments ago. My body felt heavy, unresponsive.

Was I really going to die here?

Was this all my existence amounted to—failing to keep even a single life intact, dying over and over again?

Was I truly that insignificant to the world?

My thoughts dissolved as water filled my senses, and I stopped struggling.

Perhaps this time, I would die for good. Perhaps this endless cycle would finally end.

And then everything went dark.

—

I woke up with a pounding headache. Slowly, I pushed myself up, confused by my surroundings.

It was dark—unnaturally so. My body burned with heat.

Was I being cooked?

My thoughts were sluggish, as though my mind had been scorched. What little strength I had left faded, and I lay back down, overcome with drowsiness.

One thought lingered.

I thought I had died.

Or maybe I was finally in the afterlife.

When I woke again, I felt better—though my head still ached. Looking around, I realized I was in my ward.

How did I get here?

I was certain I had died.

I sat there, confused.

So I hadn’t reached the afterlife after all.

I sighed, oddly disappointed. For a moment, I had expected death—to finally see what came after.

Instead, I was here.

And how had I even returned?

Who saved me?

I checked my clothes and realized they had been changed.

I froze.

I looked down again, my eyes widening.

Who changed my clothes?

—

In the end, I never discovered who saved me.

What I did learn was that I hadn’t been punished for missing two days of work. Apparently, it was reported that I had fallen ill, and it was counted as sick leave.

If I had still been under Madame Marsala, I would never have been let off so easily. To her, getting sick was always the servant’s fault—which, technically, it was.

But Sir Andrew, stern as he appeared, was unexpectedly compassionate. He let me off with a warning that sounded more like concern.

“I’ll let it slide this time. Avoid falling sick in the future.”

And with that, he walked away.

Cole stood behind me, looking unusually pleased. I nodded politely toward Sir Andrew, accustomed to his gruff demeanor.

“How are you feeling?” Cole asked from behind.

I rolled my eyes and walked past him to begin my work.

He stood there for a moment before hurrying after me. “Hey!”

He caught up quickly. “Are you really going to stay mad at me?” His expression turned pitiful—one that suited him far too well.

It almost made him look adorable.

“Hmph,” I huffed, deliberately ignoring him.

“I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t have a choice. There wasn’t any other work available that wasn’t exhausting.”

“Oh? And this was the best option you could find?” I replied, knowing full well I was being unfair.

I wasn’t truly angry. I was just enjoying teasing him. Of course I understood—there was no lighter work available. And Cole was just another worker like me, with no authority to decide anything beyond this.

Looking at him now, his round eyes filled with guilt like a scolded puppy, I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Haha… you’re ridiculous. Fine, I forgive you—reluctantly. If you want full forgiveness, make sure you put me in a good mood today.”

His face lit up instantly, and he nodded eagerly.

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