Why did Alder have to have such long legs? Why did he have to walk so fast? I stumbled through the castle halls and I tried to follow him. These stupid heels were brand new. I was slipping on the shiny marble floors with almost every step. I saw a flash of his green suit disappear around the corner. I grunted and picked up my pace. The cool night air hit me as I walked out in the back courtyard.

"You… walk really fast… when you’re angry…" I wheezed as I tried to catch my breath.

"Cahira, I am in no mood to talk."

I took off my heels. "I know. It was suffocating in there, right?"

"That is one word for it."

I looked around. The courtyard was more like a beautiful garden. A stone path led to the center of the gardens, with a giant water fountain. Flowers peeked out of the giant hedges with flowerbeds of all types lining the paths. I spotted a bench just ahead. I walked down the stairs and went to sit down to rest my aching feet. I took a deep breath. At least the air out here was clear.

I patted the spot next to me. "Come sit."

Alder fidgeted, looking back at the castle. He flexed his hands. Again. I have never seen him this agitated. When we were still in Elfil Forest, his agitation was only shown through a furrowed brow. He was always doing something. Helping an animal, tending to a plant, or writing in his journal. His hands were never empty. He was never at the mercy of others like he was today.

"I am a fool," Alder muttered, finally coming over to sit next to me. "It has been a while since I have-"

"You are not a fool. Everyone in there was just rude."

He sighed and ran a hand through his long brown hair. "There is a reason I have not come here in so long. Nobility is too much about appearances. Showing off their money and status never had any appeal to me."

I snorted. "It’s definitely a shock from Asmar. I do remember nobles from Othesh and other kingdoms visiting. It wasn’t fun. Nobles in my village are more…"

"Unrestrained?"

"No!" I rolled my eyes. "Well, maybe. They chose to get straight to the point rather than dance around the serious things."

Alder smiled slightly. "I would have appreciated that tonight. I did not feel like a king. I felt like… an imposter. They looked at me as if I was uncivilized."

A flash of pain hit me straight in the heart. He looked so discouraged. I scooted closer to him. This whole night has been a mess. I didn’t want to tell him about what happened with Ilesh before the banquet. I didn’t want to talk about Ilesh at all. I just wanted Alder to be happy. I wanted the Atrophy to just disappear so he wouldn’t have to worry and could just live happily. I wanted…

"I don’t think you’re an imposter. You’re an amazing king that cares about the forest.You don’t sit on a throne, waving your hand just to make things happen. You are involved. The balance of the forest is in your hands, and you make sure to keep it stable. You’re kind, and smart, and… I wish I could’ve stood up for you. I wish I could tell them that I know you will fix this, you just need a little help.  After everything is over, I hope you will get the recognition you deserve."

He was silent. My hands played with the ribbons in my hair. Perhaps I was a bit too defensive, but I mean every word. Alder deserved the best. Maybe it wasn’t my place to speak, but I should’ve ignored that completely. I shouldn’t have been so focused on Ilesh. Alder was someone important to me. Have I been so selfish that I’ve been ignoring his struggles? I’ve just been making excuses. It’s not my problem. I’m just a bard. I can’t do anything. It was all lies to make me feel better. I should’ve been supporting him.

"You are too kind, Cahira."

I shrugged. "I’m just saying what I wish I could’ve told them."

"When this is all over," Alder shifted slightly, clearing his throat. "I suppose I must go back to Elfil Forest."

"I guess so, yeah."

"And we…"

"Have to part." 

The words made me frown as I struggled to get them out. We had been together for so long, it felt odd to be without him. It almost didn’t feel right. I would be without him, without Stolas. I had almost gotten used to living in Elfil. During our travels, I had gotten used to having people by my side. I tugged at one of my braids. Alder grabbed my hand. He held it close to his chest. His heart was pounding.

"I cannot be without you, Cahira." Alder’s voice was so soft, I had thought I almost misheard him. "I do not wish to part with you after this is all over. I know I need to go back to the forest, to be a king. I just… I do not wish to do that without you by my side."

My hand felt sweaty in his. I could swear my heart was pounding even harder than his. "Alder…"

"I am not saying I want you to leave your life as a bard. I know it is your dream. I do not want to pressure you into doing something you do not want to do."

"You really have a way of rendering me speechless, don’t you?" I laughed slightly. My fingers intertwined with his. "I won’t deny my feelings for you. I can’t. You are always on my mind. I think about how you’ve helped me, how you respect me, and how you make my heart flutter. My dream is to become a bard, and I’ve loved performing in a kingdom as big as this. It feels like my dream was achieved. I almost don’t know where to go from here. And it’s scary. Then I think about my favorite part of performing. When you’re there in front of me, listening to my music with a smile and encouraging me to keep going. I don’t feel afraid anymore. So… I don’t think I can be without you either."

He squeezed my hand, bringing it up to his lips and kissing my knuckles gently. "I do enjoy watching you perform. You always look so happy and at home. Which is why I feel greedy asking you to come back with me. How can I change that happiness just so you will be with me? Yet, greed feels exhilarating to the point where it is hard to keep quiet. I have kept my feelings inside for too long. I want more than friendship. I want you by my side, as my companion. If I had you, Cahira, everything would be perfect. I feel as if I could conquer the world and give it to you. It is what you deserve."

I was going to melt. My heart was practically thudding in my chest. My breathing was fast and unsteady. His words felt possessive, but it wasn’t suffocating.  It felt right. Alder pulled me forward, his other hand cupping my cheek. My eyes were staring into those deep swirls of blue. His gaze covered me in warmth. I leaned into his touch. I leaned into him. He tilted his head as he came closer and closer. Time was slowing down. His lips were inches from mine. Finally, we could-

"Cahira! Alder!"

I yelped and instinctively fell back at the sudden sound of Malvolia’s shout. I lost my balance and fell straight onto a hedge. My face was warm with embarrassment instead of love. Or what was about to become love. Alder gasped. That no doubt completely ruined the moment. He bent down and grabbed my hands, gently pulling me back up.

"Are you alright?"

"Only if you pretend you didn’t see that."

He chuckled and brushed a leaf from my hair. "It was rather cute."

"That castle is like a damn maze," Malvolia walked over to us. "Yet somehow extremely confined."

I crossed my arms. "Do you need something, Mal?"

She smirked down at me. "Yes, I do. I hate to interrupt your little romance—"

"Yet, you still did." I muttered.

"—But the banquet is over. The mood kind of died a bit after you two left."

"Ah," Alder stood, brushing off his suit. "I suppose we should leave, then. Stolas will be angry if we keep him waiting."

He gave me an apologetic smile. I sighed and stood up. Despite my shoulders feeling lighter after confessing my feelings, the thought of going back inside and facing Ilesh made my stomach turn. It was like there was something dangerous happening and my body was telling me to run away. I didn’t want to run away. I wanted to stay by Alder’s side. That has to happen. It can happen.

Right?