As Nishimoya and I entered the coffee shop, I took a look at our surroundings.

One wall was made up of windows with sleek black frames and had a few tables lined up against it.

In the front was the service counter where we made our orders while the other wall was made up of bricks.

‘It feels pretty cozy here. I like the aesthetic.’

We joined the small line in front of the service counter and waited patiently.

Although, I couldn’t resist the urge to talk while we waited.

“What’re you gonna order?” I asked Nishimoya, causing her to turn her head towards me.

“Nothing,” she replied.

My eyebrows creased slightly.

“Nothing? What do you mean nothing? Why aren’t you going to get anything?” I questioned.

“Well, I don’t want to waste any money since I only get an allowance from my grandmother every once in a while. Also, I’m not really hungry right now.”

I started at her for a moment before sighing and looking in front of us.

It was our turn to order.

“Good afternoon, what can I get for you today?” The barista asked.

“Good afternoon, can I get a hot chocolate please?” I said.

The barista took a second to type down my order before looking up again.

“Is that all?” He asked.

I glanced towards Nishimoya, and when I noticed she wasn’t going to speak, I spoke instead.

“I’d also like an iced coffee please.”

When I said that, Nishimoya made a confused expression.

“Okay, that’ll be __,” The barista said.

I took out my wallet and paid for the drinks. Then, we went over to an empty table and sat down.

“Why did you get a coffee? You don’t drink coffee,” Nishimoya questioned.

I pointed to her.

“For you,” I said.

“If I remember correctly, a while back you said you like coffee.”

“No, I said I like toffee,” she corrected.

My face deadpanned and the atmosphere kind of became awkward.

“But, I’ve never had coffee before. So maybe I’ll like it,” Nishimoya said, breaking the silence. 

Even with that possibility, my facial expression stayed gloomy until my name was called and I had to get our drinks.

After I got them, I gave Nishimoya her coffee and sat down for the second time.

Nishimoya slowly sipped her coffee, paused for a moment and smiled.

“Yum,” she whispered.

Hearing that, I smiled.

“Now that we’ve gotten our drinks, are you ready to tell me what’s wrong?” I asked as I took my first sip of hot chocolate.

“I’m fi…”

“Nah, I don’t believe you. So tell me what’s up,” I said, cutting her off.

Nishimoya frowned and sighed.

Then, her face became indescribably solemn. Almost as if she’d become lost in a distant land without knowing where to go or what to do.

With that expression, she turned her head to the window, and spoke.

“Fine.”

Realizing she actually agreed to tell me, I adjusted my posture and listened intently.

“Basically, I don’t really know what to do. You already know my parents are really big on getting a good education so for as long as I can remember I’ve been trying to get as high as grades as possible. Even in elementary school, I studied every single day.”

She turned her face away from the window and down to the table instead.

“But I just don’t want to do it anymore. The older I get the more I despise it. And I’m worried my grades will start to suffer. On top of that, the group I got for the English assignment is terrible. None of them will work so to avoid my grade going down I’ve had to do all the work recently. I’m tired. But I really don’t want to disappoint my parents…”

Her body tensed.

“....I can’t disappoint them.”

As she spoke, my expression began to harden.

‘Right, Nishimoya has been aiming for the best. Just like me. Except she does it for her parents while I do it for myself. Damn, I should’ve realized this sooner. She’s been this drained and had no one to help her…’

I wanted to do something. I wanted to help.

“Oh. Uh…”

I tried to speak but no words came out. 

I couldn’t think of anything. I couldn’t help. 

I was useless.

‘C’mon brain. Think. Think of something to help. Anything. I don’t need to be the smartest, I just want to help. Is there anything I can say? Anything I can do? Why did my friends have to deal with someone like me? Do I deserve to be her friend at all?’

I sat there, mouth open, trying to find anything positive to say.

But there was nothing.

“Maybe, I should just give up and quit school,” I heard Nishimoya mutter under her breath.

That sentence scared me. Hearing it made me feel like my heart stopped.

A fear like no other.

“No, please never do that. No matter what. If you do that then…uh, I’ll do the same,” I blurted out, not caring for the weight of my words.

Nishimoya looked up at me with confusion written all over her face.

“Are you guilt tripping me?” she asked.

“Pretty much,” I replied.

“That’s kind of mean,” Nishimoya said.

“I know and I’m sorry. But I won’t allow you to do that. I can’t allow you too,” I said.

A lie. I said a complete lie.

I would never quit school for that, it would be too reckless and a waste of opportunity.

But lie or not, it didn't matter. 

I was still so sorry.

It was a crappy thing to say and a pretty bad response.

But I didn’t know what to do.

I didn’t know how to respond or what advice to give.

I was completely and utterly clueless.

Once again, a frown appeared on Nishimoya’s face.

“Whatever, look. I don’t have anything to help. I can’t imagine what’s going on. B-But I know you’re you. I know you like to eat and I know you hate studying. And most importantly, I know you work harder than anyone else. So even if your parents don’t care about that, I do. You can’t do something you hate forever and you can’t live up to an expectation you despise…”

The more I spoke, the more I felt like I wasn’t helping.

That my words meant nothing.

And they probably didn’t mean anything. I was just spouting any nonsense after all.

Unfortunately, that was just who I was.

“So Nishimoya, just be you. Even if you fail every class, and even if your parents are pissed, be you. Even if you still want to impress your parents, that’s okay. But eventually, please find what you actually want to do. Be who you are because that version of you is the person I’m friends with.”

When I finished speaking, Nishimoya was looking directly at me.

It was weird, and it made me uncomfortable.

She almost looked like she was about to cry.

‘Please, please don’t cry. I don’t know how to comfort you if you do.’

Maybe she read my mind because after a few moments her “about to cry” expression faded.

Instead, a brighter expression replaced it.

“Thank you, Elliot.”

My eyes widened.

It was the first time she’d ever said that to me.

It was nice.

“Anyway, while we were walking here I heard someone talking about a super milkshake from a store nearby. They said it has 10 different flavors in one! We should go buy it,” Nishimoya suggested.

I tilted my head in confusion.

“Won’t that give us diabetes or something?” I asked, clearly hesitant.

“Probably, I’m sure it’ll be a lot of fun though!” Nishimoya said with a smile.

A smile from the version of Nishimoya I recognized.

And from there I had faith Nishimoya would be okay.

Not because I had done anything special, but because it was Nishimoya.

Someone who impresses me no matter what.

A friend.

Maybe I couldn’t say it to her face.

Maybe It was too awkward to bring up.

But it didn’t matter.

After all, I already knew how dear Nishimoya was to me. 

That was the truth.