Chapter XII

MILO

1938

The rest of that evening was one of the best in my memory. However, I got in so much trouble when I made it back home. At first, I thought I could play it off smoothly — maybe no one had even noticed I was gone. Despite my trepidation over heights, I forced myself to scale the fire escape behind our house. Then, to my absolute horror, my mother was sitting in my bedroom when I crawled in through the window. She was very unhappy, to say the least. 

For something like two weeks, I was only allowed to go to church, school, and Hitlerjugend. Mama did do me a huge favor though, by keeping my punishment between her and me. She knew that if Otto found out about it … well … he would’ve lost it on me the same way Father used to.

After that, the next big thing I remember is the end of the school year approaching in June. While the thought had me excited at first, I was reminded that I had to go to Hitlerjugend camp for four whole weeks during the summer. That meant four whole weeks of having to be around Anton and Arnold with no escape.

I lucked out in the end though, because they weren’t in my cabin group, but Hans and Heinrich were. I recall enjoying some hiking, archery, and clandestine birdwatching. Meanwhile, I did my best to drown out all the propaganda they tried to shove down our throats. 

At the end of the four weeks, August was nearly over, and it was about time for school to begin again; my penultimate year of gymnasium. Little did I know then how much everything would change during that time. It all began relatively mundane, of course. 

The first few weeks of school, Lukas’s aunt and uncle were back from their travels, so spending time at his house wasn’t an option. He always put on a mask of responsibility whenever they were home, so his father would believe he’d permanently left his “delinquent” ways back in Hamburg. Because of this, we chose to meet at Leah’s family’s shop.

It was a beautiful late-August day, still quite warm, but with a breeze of change lilting about. We probably should’ve been enjoying the outdoors, but my friends and I were at the record shop instead. Lukas, Hans, and Heinrich sat on the floor rummaging through the box of singles, as Leah and I sat on the counter. She playfully tapped her foot against mine and I inched my hand closer and closer to hers. Eventually, she just placed her hand in mine, which made my heart feel like it might burst.

Although neither of us had officially said we were a couple, ever since we’d danced together that night at the jazz club, we pretty much acted as if we were. We spent a lot of time chatting and laughing, and when no one was really paying attention, flirting — like at that moment. We were interrupted, however, by the sound of the door chime jingling.

Through the door strolled three young men about Otto’s age or perhaps somewhat younger. The leader of the group was tall, with curly black hair and kind, dark eyes. The others were medium height, one who seemed cheerful, and the other a bit more rough around the edges. All of them were dressed in a similar fashion to Lukas, so I assumed they must’ve been in the Swing Scene too, just a slightly older crowd.

They all carried what looked like medium-sized wooden vegetable crates covered with burlap cloths. For this reason, I assumed they were filled with something other than vegetables.   

“Hey, you guys!” the black-haired young man said as they all set the crates on the counter. “How’s it going?”

Leah perked up a bit. “Hey, Asa,” she said. “We’re good.”

I recognized the name and it dawned on me that this was her older brother. He had been a boy, maybe thirteen, the last time I’d seen him, so now he was almost unrecognizable.

His smile was friendly, but his eyes narrowed slightly when he noticed me sitting so close to his sister. I placed both my hands in my lap and scooted a bit away. 

“Well,” Asa said, “are you all going to introduce us to your new friend here, or what?” 

Leah glanced at me, her face flushed. “Oh, yes — Milo, this is my brother, Asa, and his friends: Herschel Liebman and Judah Berkowitz.” She gestured to them both. 

Judah smiled and waved warmly, but Herschel folded his arms across his chest.

“So,” he began haughtily, “you all figured you needed to add another goy to the group.”

Everyone fell silent at his words, and I was confused because at first, I didn’t understand what he meant. “What?” I asked. 

Lukas stood up from where he sat on the floor, leaning on the display table behind him. “Look, Herschel,” he said, “anyone can be a Swing Guy — Jews and Gentiles alike.” 

Herschel scoffed. “Easy for the Mischling to say.”

“Hey, my mother is Jewish, so that makes me a full member of the Tribe, you know.” 

Rolling his eyes, Herschel turned his focus from Lukas back to me, and also to Hans and Heinrich. “I still wouldn’t put it past members of the Hitlerjugend —” he gave the three of us a suspicious look “—to turn on us and our entire operation.”

Now it was Heinrich’s turn to stand from where he sat. “We would never do that!” he shouted, scandalized. “We’re only in the Hitlerjugend because we have to be.”

“I can vouch for Milo,” Lukas said, smoothly trying to defuse the situation. “He’s a real swingin’ cat for a Catholic with two left feet. And you know I’m hep with Hans and Heinrich.” 

I gave Lukas a bit of side-eye over his backhanded compliment, but was grateful he stood up for me at least. 

Judah walked over and placed a hand on Herschel’s shoulder. “Come on — Lukas is right.”

And Lukas put his hands on his hips and smiled smugly at that. 

“Besides, we’re here to bring joy, not put anyone down.” Asa leaned over, presenting his hand to me. “Good to meet you, Milo,” he said, as I awkwardly accepted his handshake.

I gulped. “Likewise.” 

“Have … I met you before? You look familiar.”

“Milo’s from Reutlingen,” Leah said.

  Asa leaned back over to the vegetable crates. “No kidding?” The recognition seemed to come to him more. “You’re Otto Schweinhardt’s little brother, aren't you?”

“Yep, that would be me…”

“It’s been ages since I thought about him. How has he been these days?”

“He’s … doing alright.” I laughed nervously, thinking it best to not expound any further about Otto — I’m sure Herschel would’ve loved to hear about my brother being a member of the SS. I glanced up to see Lukas giving me a tense look, his mouth pressed into a long, thin line as if he’d had the same thought. 

“Great,” Asa said, “maybe I’ll see him around sometime.” He pulled the burlap off the top of the crate then to reveal its contents. Inside, instead of vegetables, were stacks of records. “The joy we brought to share with you.” Asa pulled a few of them out to pass to Lukas, who eagerly grabbed them to flip through. 

“Ah,” Lukas began, holding one of them up, “another Ella Fitzgerald and Chick Webb single. I hear tell this one was pretty popular on the radio — not that I would know anything about that.” He made a mockingly guilty face. Then he handed one of the copies of the single to me. I ran my fingers over the label. It was dark blue just like the one I’d returned to Leah months before, with shimmery gold writing that read “A-tisket, A-tasket” for the name of the song.

“How do you guys even get your hands on these, anyway?” It was something I’d wondered for a while, but had been afraid to ask until then.

Herschel gave Asa a severe look, but Asa began to explain anyway.  

“Well,” he said, “Judah’s family owns the bakery down the street, and sometimes they need supplies, which a friend from Switzerland is able to get for them — so this friend throws in some ‘extras’ from time to time.”

Judah grunted sarcastically. “Yeah, my friend whom I couldn’t do all this without — another goy…” And he looked pointedly in the direction of Herschel. It was then that I noticed Herschel had made his way over to the other side of the counter to chat with Leah. He was leaned over the counter toward her with a look on his  face that made my stomach drop. Is … is he flirting with her? I thought. A feeling between distress and rage violently flared up within me, something I’d never experienced before. Pure jealousy.

For a split second, I thought I might intervene. In the blindness of my emotions, I didn’t notice at first how Leah was ignoring him completely, staring at her fingernails. I found rather quickly, though, that she could handle herself.

Herschel leaned a bit closer. “Have you thought about what I asked you the last time we saw each other?” I heard him saying.

She didn’t even bother to look up. “Yeah, and the answer is still ‘no’.”

“Come on, Leah. We’d make a nice pair, you and me.”

“I told you already: not interested.” She turned away from him, so he walked back around the counter to stand before her.

“Please? You could at least give me a chance.”

Leah finally glared up, anger flashing in her eyes. “Why don’t you ask some girl your own age out?” she demanded, loud enough for everyone else to take notice. “Oh right — they all find you desperate, annoying, and abrasive.” And with that, she took one step over to be right next to me again, placing her hand back in mine. I gulped, feeling both awkward and vindicated at the same time. 

Herschel glanced between the two of us, his face flushed with anger and embarrassment. He then turned on his heel to leave in a huff.

“Well, someone’s upset,” Lukas said sarcastically to fill the silence that followed Herschel’s exit. 

Leah rolled her eyes. “He’ll get over it.” She gave me a reassuring smile and dragged me over to sit with Hans and Heinrich. We then spent the remainder of the afternoon looking through the rest of the new records.

Aside from that one incident with Herschel, spending time at the Jonases’ shop during that time became a highlight of my regular week, especially getting to know Asa. And eventually, it led to me being reintroduced to the rest of Leah’s family as well.

On another warm day, perhaps a week later, I arrived at the shop, expecting the usual group to be there, but when I entered, the only person in the whole store was a younger girl. She was maybe eleven, with green eyes and short, wild black hair, and she stood behind the counter as if she owned the place. I could tell without much thought that this was Leah and Asa’s little sister, for she had the same thick brows and long, soft nose as them. 

Upon seeing me, she put her hands on her hips saucily. “Can I help you?” 

I swallowed nervously. “Uh … is Leah here?”

“Who are you?”

“A friend of hers.”

She laughed derisively. “Yeah, right! Like Leah would be friends with some Hitlerjugend-looking little boy like you…”

Little boy? I was speechless. I did the only thing I could: glare at her while desperately thinking of some kind of comeback. Luckily, I didn’t have to follow through with that, because I had absolutely nothing.

“Miriam!” It was Leah’s voice, shouting indignantly as she emerged from the back hallway. “What are you doing?”

Miriam turned to face her sister. “This suspicious boy claims he’s your friend.”

“He is!” Leah said. “So stop being obnoxious to him.” She stepped over to me, patting me on the arm, which Miriam eagerly took notice of. She narrowed her eyes at me and pursed her lips, calculating. Then we were all alarmed by another voice coming from the backroom.

“What’s going on out there?”

It was Herr Jonas. I stood there, completely petrified as he walked out to where we all were. Just as I had remembered, he was a kind-faced man with curly black hair, a short, neatly trimmed beard, and the same green eyes as Miriam. He was clad in a tweed suit and wore thick glasses, with nary an intimidating bone in his entire body. An observation that, unfortunately, did nothing at all to quell the nervousness that suddenly consumed me. 

“Papa!” Leah blurted.

Herr Jonas noticed me standing there, so Leah quickly took her hand off my arm and placed it behind her back. He either didn’t notice or chose to ignore it, just smiling politely. 

“Who’s this, now?” he asked.

Miriam smirked diabolically. “Leah’s scrawny lover,” she tried to say, but Leah quickly shoved her whole hand into Miriam’s face and pushed her backwards as she talked over her.

“This is my friend, Milo. You remember the Schweinhardts, don’t you, Papa? They lived up the street from us back in Reutlingen?” 

Herr Jonas nodded. “Ah, yes! Johann and Griselda, that’s right. How are your parents doing, then?”

I forced a sheepish smile and Leah gave me a quick look of sympathy. “My mother is doing well,” I said, figuring I’d start out with the positive. “But my … um … my father died in February.”

Herr Jonas’s cheerful demeanor quickly deflated. “Oh, Milo … I’m very sorry to hear that.”

It was pretty much the same thing everyone said when they found out.

“It’s alright,” I said, which had become my most recent habit. Even after seven months though, it really wasn’t. And then came the same excruciating feeling of everyone instantly wanting to move the conversation along to something else. 

Herr Jonas looked at his wristwatch and willed the smile back to his face. “Well, girls,” he said, “it’s time to close up shop and head home. I’m sure your mother has supper ready.” For a moment he hesitated, then added, “Would you like to join us, Milo? I’m sure there should be enough.”  

I tried to hide my surprise as I considered the invitation for a moment. I was sure that Mama would be fine as long as I made it home before dark, so I agreed and followed them all out of the shop.