Despite always trying my best to separate my work life from my personal life, this simply isn’t always possible when we reach a high-intensity part of the exploration timeline. Work sometimes becomes absorbing to the point of distraction. It’s even harder to maintain one’s objectivity when things are so important.

When I finally looked away from my terminal screen and glanced at the clock on my office wall, it was after eight and the office lighting had come on automatically, adding to my lateness by making me fail to notice that it was getting dark. My only thought was “Jack’s going to be furious!”

Jack and I had met when I’d been on a vacation after my first off-world mission had been ramped down, considered a major success, during which I’d had nothing whatsoever to do for a whole month. That world was not and never had been inhabited by anything more advanced than a myriad of very weird-looking fish.

I’d been on my own in a strange place, on a strange world and hadn’t been looking for anything other than a chance to relax. Then I saw Jack, in a cliched view across a crowded room and it had been lust at first sight. He was on Terranix for a conference and had stayed for a few days to likewise relax.

I’d never been on Terranix before, having limited my travels to Earth, Verus and Sevrin, always visiting for something to do with one part of my family or another. Terranix has always had a reputation as a free and open planet with a very relaxed attitude to personal interaction. I hadn’t thought that much about this when I booked a hotel room in a local resort, but wasn’t averse to going with the flow.

Jack was a couple of years older than me, a good few centimetres shorter and blond in contrast to my mousey brown hair. He was, and indeed still is, absolutely gorgeous, with an infectious smile and a cutting sense of humour.

What started out as a couple of guys having a few days relaxation with some wild sex quickly turned into something much more. When I got back to work, we kept in touch, visiting each other several times. Before I knew it, he was moving to Canaveral and I was requesting a larger apartment on campus.

That was a little over three years ago now and it is fair to say that the gloss is beginning to wear off our relationship. When I’m between missions and can keep regular office hours, things still seem to be great between us, but when I’m on active duty, he changes completely.

I guess I’ve never been plagued by the degree of insecurity Jack shows and don’t know how to cope with his occasional jealousy and lack of self-confidence. When you’re on an exploration mission, working long hours and odd shifts is just part of life. With my long-standing family connections, I guess I knew all this when I signed up for my job but Jack didn’t and simply can’t adjust to anything other than a nine-to-five style of life. I honestly don’t know what I can do about it though.

Now, weeks before I’m supposed to be going on mission, I’m working late and forgetting to tell him I’ll miss dinner. I’m in the deep shit this time.

I’m not even sure that I know how to handle things, even by the time I’m reaching for the door of our apartment.

“I’m sorry,” I begin when I enter, noticing that Jack is sitting on the couch, the lights are all off and everything is silent. “I got caught up in some research and lost track of the time.”

“Yeah, whatever,” is the grunted reply from the darkness.

“Look, I really am sorry I’m late. We’re all really struggling to work this stuff through. We just have to accept that it’ll mean working late sometimes.”

“What if I can’t accept it?”

“What do you mean. Can’t accept what exactly? You know that when we’re on a mission we have to give 110%.”

“So you keep saying. I’m not so sure that’s really the case at all. Other members of the team seem able to get home on time. There’s nothing for you to translate in any case.”

“Jack, you know that’s not true. When a landing is imminent, we all have to work extra hours. It’s always been the same. This is even more important this time, there are intelligent lifeforms on this world.”

“That’s just an excuse Darren. It’s just another way to spend less time at home. With me.”

“Well, now you’re just being bloody ridiculous. What possible reason could I have to spend less time with you?”

“I don’t know, but it’s both obvious and true. You come home late and leave early with no real reason or excuse to offer for it. You’re not the commander. It’s not your responsibility to do everything or be first to arrive and last to leave.”

I’m really struggling to keep my voice calm and quiet. This is just fucking totally unreasonable. I really should know better than to keep the argument going when he’s like this, but I’m tired, stressed and more than a little pissed.

“Look. Right from the start, you knew that I didn’t do a normal day job. This is a community; a family, and we all pull together. When things get difficult, we all rally round and help one-another. That’s just the way it is. You have no idea how much planning and discussion is needed. None whatsoever!”

“Well, you need to learn to stop being so nice to your colleagues and spend the proper amount of time at home. With me!”

“And you need to have a bit of a reality check before either of us says something we might regret. I’m going back out to find some food. Don’t wait up!” I know right away that I’ve gone too far, but I’m also beyond the point of caring so I simply stand back up from the chair I’ve flopped down into and walk right back out, slamming the door behind me and heading out into the warm evening air.

When there’s no immediate Nexima call for me to return, I take a couple of deep breaths and make my way back towards the centre of the campus. When my uncles still lived and worked here, they once invited me to lunch with them at Miguel’s little kiosk in the main square. The business is still there, now being run by Miguel’s daughter, Maria. The food is as good as it ever was and it’s always busy.

Luckily, when I get there, it isn’t too busy and I have no problem plopping myself down on a stool at the counter and letting out a loud and very obvious sigh.

“It really can’t be that bad,” Maria suggests as she comes over to me. “You explorers are all so dramatic.”

“I need a drink,” I manage after a shake of my head.

“Oh! It really is that bad?”

“It might just be worse. I’ve just had a big fight with Jack and work is driving me mad. Let’s start with a drink and see what good that does.”

“Beer?”

“Please. And a tequila shot chaser.”

“Shit, you really are in a bad way. Don’t try to drown your sorrows on an empty stomach.”

“I wasn’t going to. Can I have whatever the special is today?”

“Of course, and someone to talk too comes for free.”

“Thanks, Maria. I’m not sure I’m in a talking mood yet.”

Maria simply nods and pulls me a beer, rapidly pouring me a shot and sitting it down besides the beer. I knock the shot back straight away and then take almost half of the beer in one long swallow. Maria wisely says nothing, getting on with preparing me a plate of food at the far side of the kitchen.

It takes me at least half of the plate of food to even begin to calm down. Jack has left me so on-edge that I’m afraid to speak or even look around, so I keep my head down and try to concentrate on eating. At some point another beer appears beside the empty glass, but by this time I’ve run out of steam and sip it normally with my food.

“Are you ready to talk about it now?” Maria asks softly.

I finally look up from my almost empty plate and manage a rueful smile. Almost everyone has left, leaving me as the only person at the counter. A few tables are still occupied, but it’s now really quiet. “I’m not sure what there is to say. He was being unreasonable about me having to work late. He’ll get over it.”

“I don’t think he will, this time,” Maria tells me as she looks over my shoulder. “Don’t turn around, but he’s walking off towards the campus gate with a bag over his shoulder.”

I manage yet another long sigh, but also manage to refrain from looking over my shoulder towards our apartment. “Figures. Honestly, right now that may be for the best. I’ve got enough going on with work. I don’t need to be dealing with domestic drama.”

“It’s not really my place, but the two of you haven’t been on the same frequency for a while now.”

“Were we that obvious Maria?”

“Well, probably not to most people, but it’s kind of my job to see these things.”

“Isn’t that a bit of an old cliché? The whole ‘talk to the bar-tender’ shtick?”

“Maybe, but true just the same. I need some justification for that psychology degree I worked so hard for. Are you going to go after him?”

That’s the big question, isn’t it. We’ve been together for more than three years and, for most of that time, things have been pretty good. For the last year or so, however, there’s been this undercurrent of discontent and mistrust that has been wearing me down. I know I overreacted to his own overreaction tonight, but the sentiment has been growing for some time and we were just waiting for the catalyst to kick in and start that chain reaction.

“No,” I tell Maria softly after a long pause. “I don’t think I am.”