...
...
Disgusting.
...
It was disgusting.
Rotten.
...
Worthless.
Better off dead--
...
He shouldn't. He didn't deserve it, but he couldn't help but lean against the usual shoulder to cry on, wrongly allowing himself that comforting squeeze on his own shoulder.
Still, he didn't take his eyes off the metal water cut. He couldn't bear to look at it, but he didn't deserve reprieve.
...
He felt watched. He was being watched. He was probably enjoying the show, wasn't he?
...
Who fucking cares? Let Mark enjoy the show, if he was satiated, he would be easier to handle.
...
...
...
...
...
...
He blinked and looked at the closet, a new, crayon drawing adorning it--
No. He WASN'T allowed to look away.
...
Alice... She was just a kid. She liked unicorns and princesses, she liked drawing and dancing and singing. She wanted to be a “ballerina princess”! Mac and cheese with cut-up hotdogs was her favorite! Strawberries with sugar were her favorite! Sour gummy worms were her favorite! She loved “Purepure the little Dream Fairy” and couldn't believe that not only the dream fairies were real, but she got to meet one of their much taller and scarier cousins, Kitty the Nightmare Hunter! She couldn't wait to tell her mommy and daddy about her new friend Kitty! To show them how he had taught her to seamlessly blend different colors in her drawings! To tell them just how much better cut-up hotdogs tasted fried, instead of boiled like her mommy used to do...
And Adam... He was a coward. A monster. A liar and a betrayer, a selfish, UNREDEEMABLE, USELESS SACK OF SHIT! HE COULD'VE FOUGHT HARDER TO CONVINCE THE MASK MAN TO LET HER LIVE! BUT NO! HE GAVE IN! HE LET HER DIE! HE COULD'VE LOOKED AFTER HER, BE THERE FOR HER, PROTECT HER--
“You couldn't.” David hit him with a cold bucket of reality, his voice calm as sat on the bed next to him and squeezed his shoulder. “You're a kid too, you know? There's only so much you can do, Adam. You wouldn't be able to stop them letting her get 'adopted' once she ended up here... And you wouldn't be able to stop whatever awaited her after.”
Adam lowered his head.
...
He was right... Fuck, he was right. Fuck. FUCK!
...
“Come on. You still need to eat.” David reminded him.
Adam didn't bother to fight him on that, letting his friend guide him to the orphanage's canteen by the hand, where he forced himself to eat.
Bland grilled chicken and rice, some bland blend of vegetables as a soup, and water.
Fitting.
He didn't deserve palatable food.
...
Then, they went to the lounge, David absolutely demolishing him on the taped together air hockey table.
Adam sighed.
No matter how much David tired to hype or provoke him, his spirit just wasn't in the game--
“And we've come back with more news on the gas explosion that shook a neighborhood to its core late last night.”
Adam turned his head towards the sticker covered TV-- Godmother?
He marched closer, putting both hands on the back of an old leather sofa and leaning in with squinted eyes.
“Jennifer Jonson, Alice's Park Godmother, friend of the family, neighbor.” Read the text at the bottom of the screen, the interviewer giving the spotlight to a distraught lady in her mid-30s and what he assumed was her husband...
...
She had a Godmother...
She didn't have grandparents, no uncles or aunts... but she had Godmother.
She could've been... SHE COULD HAVE BEEN SAVED! FUCK! IF HE HAD TRIED A LITTLE HARDER HE COULD'VE SAVED HER! BUT NO! HE WAS A COWARD, A MONSTER, USELESS, HE DIDN'T DESERVE TO LIVE, HE SHOULD JUST-- WHY?! WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY WHY COULDN'T DAVID JUST LET HIM GO?! HE WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM TOO! EVERYONE WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM! WHAT WAS THE POINT?! WHAT WAS THE POINT OF BEING ALIVE IF HE WASN'T GOING TO DO THE BARE FUCKING MINIMUM AND PROTECT HIS OWN?! WHAT Was... the point?
He collapsed inside David's python-like embrace, barely able to keep his eyes open as exhaustion, sleep-deprivation, and the cold caught up with him.
“...Let's get you to bed, dude,” David said, picking him up and carrying him inside as the snow began to fall on them, “It's getting late.”
David carried him to their bedroom and laid him on his bed.
“You didn't kill her, dude. The Joneses did.” David tried to rid him of his guilt.
“I could've saved her. She still had a chance!” Adam said, his throat hurting. “I might as well have killed her with my bare hands.”
“...Do you really think you could've convinced him?” He questioned, lowering his gaze.
Adam went quiet.
No. He probably couldn't have. But maybe, if he...
“Her blood is not on your hands, Adam, it's on theirs! She knows it, her parents know it, she doesn't blame you, so stop blaming yourself!” David revealed, his voice nearly failing him.
Adam eyes widened. They were there? Had they been there the whole time? Why didn't David-- He was... trembling, trying to discreetly shrink himself while his eyes struggled to... no longer avoid acknowledging something... troublesome. Right.
Adam glanced around the area his friend's eyes seemed struggle with so much, as if he too could see the probably gruesome remains of a once happy little girl and her family.
“I'm sorry, Alice... I'm going to kill them.” Adam promised, using his strength to clutch his friend's shaky hand, while his eyes grew heavier by the second. “Even if it's the last thing I do... I'm going to hang the Joneses like the criminals they are. I'm going to let them hang and rot... turn into... maggot shit...”
“That's... quite the description to blurt out in front of a little girl, dude.” David said, with shaky version of that trademarked gentle, reassuring smile of his.
“Oh... Sorry, Princess...” He apologized... and everything went dark.
He woke up to the sound of rustling paper right outside their nest, a faint glow visible through the covers hung above them on the headboard.
Adam carefully crawled out of David's embrace, over him and out their winter nest.
Just like he thought. Spice.
She turned to him, Alice's drawing still in her scaly hands.
“What's this, ũmilhani?” She questioned in a barely audible whisper, turning the papers towards him and pointing at the drawing.
“It's Alice, the Unicorn Princess, and Kitty the Nightmare Hunter.” He explained in a whisper, stepping closer and carefully taking Alice's gift from her hands
“And these are...?” She pointed at the chopped-up figures laying on the grass around the princess and her friend.
“Those are the nightmares that were coming after Alice. Kitty killed them with his sword.” He explained, hanging the drawing back in its place.
“I see... Is this one of David's stories or...? Did he draw this?”
Adam stared at her with confusion.
“...What? No, it was made by Alice. You know, the little girl who I let die?” He answered, trying to keep his voice down.
Spice's expression fell, her eyes widening with disbelief and confusion.
“You what?”
“What do you mean 'you what'? I told you two about this yesterday-- You weren't listening?” He questioned, gesturing towards the wardrobe.
“No? I wasn't even here, ũmilhani.” She revealed. “You thought I was in my dollhouse the whole time?”
“Yes? Where else would you be?” So, she wasn't giving him the silent treatment? She was straight up gone? Did David know? Why hadn't he told him?
“Out there doing my job?”
“...You have a job?”
Spice stared at him for a second and then pointed at him.
“Yes. You.”
“...What are you--” Adam's eyes widened as something clicked in the back of his mind. “Spice, where were you these last few days?”
“I already told you, I was out there doing my job.” She said, crossing her arms and lifting off the ground. “And what about you? What's this about you letting a little girl die?” The ghost questioned, circling him as if he was in an interrogation scene from a movie.
“I asked first.” He instead, putting his foot down and crossing his arms. “Where were you, Spice? What were you doing out there?”
Spice sighed and rolled her eyes.
“Fine… I was scouting out Cassie.” Of course she was... “Found out some pretty interesting stuff about your vampire queen or... whatever freak of nature she is.”
Adam stared at her, something inside his chest coming to a boil.
“...WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL MY WIFE?!”
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