Khan paced in his apartment.  It was 3:25 and their guest had not yet arrived.  Perhaps he had asked for too much and she had decided to just not show up.  It wasn’t like he’d taken a deposit or anything to hold her to their verbal agreement.  He realized now that he hadn’t even gotten her name.  Khan looked at his phone.  He could call her back.  Yet that also seemed desperate, needy.  Perhaps he would call if she hadn’t shown up by the evening, but not now.  

There was a buzz at the security door.  Khan raced to open it.  Standing there was a tall, tan shapely woman.  “Hello, you’re here about the room?” He asked.

“Yes.” She replied with a smile.  

Khan showed her in.  “I didn’t get your name.”

“It’s Evy.” she replied.  After a pause she asked “And you are?”

It’s like he had forgotten how normal human interactions worked.  “Khan.  I’m Khan, this is my building.  Let me show you to your room.”

Khan led Evy to apartment 202.  He’d put out fresh sheets and air fresheners to get rid of any residual death odors.  Otherwise he’d left the tidy room as it was; moving out all the personal items was too much for just one night.  “Did you need anything?” Khan asked as he handed her the keys.  He wasn’t sure why he’d asked it or how he would respond if she said yes.

Evy looked around the apartment.  “I think I’m good for now, thank you.”

“Alright, well, enjoy.”  Khan showed himself out.  This was going to be the easiest money he ever made.

*

It was not an hour later when Khan heard loud pounding and screaming coming from the floor above him.  Khan raced up stairs to find John trying to get into apartment 201 and angrily assaulting the door that would not yield to him.  Khan had already changed the lock.

“John, what are you doing here?” Khan demanded.  This jackass was going to scare off the first person who was willing to pay Khan to stay at The Rosario.  If he had heard the commotion, Evy surely had as well.

“I am trying to get into MY apartment!  Why doesn’t MY KEY work?!” John bellowed in response.  

“Because you don’t live here anymore!” Khan snapped back.  “You didn’t pay your rent.  I gave you an eviction notice.  You took your stuff and left.  I considered the matter settled.” 

“I’m gone for one night and you change the locks?  You don’t have the right to do this to me!”

“You haven’t paid rent in months.  What right do you have to be here?” Khan shot back.

“All my stuff is in there!”  John dodged the question.  “So you’re just stealing it?”  As if Khan wanted any of the garbage John had left behind.  

Khan opened his mouth to respond but the door to apartment 202 opened at the same time.  Khan felt his stomach clench.  He didn’t want Evy to see any of this.  Khan was not prepared for what he would see though.  

Evy now appeared to be dressed as a Shinto shrine maiden, with the loose red trousers and white tunic.  Khan was pretty sure she wasn’t Japanese but he supposed that wasn’t his call to make.  She also had a headband that secured two candles, one on each side of her head.  Two lit candles.  That seemed like a reckless fashion choice. 

Most eye-catching though, for John and Khan at least, was Evy’s plunging neckline that went almost to her navel.  It did an excellent job of showing off as much of Evy’s huge breasts as would be possible without there being outright nudity.  Were Evy to walk down the street in that outfit, innumerable car crashes would result.

“You are bad energy!” Evy declared, pointing at John.  John didn’t have a response, he just stood there, staring at her chest.  Khan wasn’t much better.  Evy strode towards them.  Khan didn’t see the paper fan in her hand, one like the weak weapon from Super Smash Brothers, until she raised it up to strike.  John took a step back, when he probably would have been better off standing his ground.  Evy brought the fan down on John’s head, catching him off balance, and knocking him to the ground.  “Leave!” Evy commanded.  John just stared, seemingly more dumbfounded than hurt.  Evy marched back to 202 and slammed the door.

The massive mammaries gone, John seemed to regain his senses.  “Assault!”  He cried out.  “That was an assault!”  John scrambled to his feet.  “I’m calling the police!”

“You’re going to tell other people that a girl beat you up with a piece of paper?” Khan asked with a raised eyebrow.  “I would keep that to myself.”

“That was assault.” John repeated, but with less conviction in his voice.  He held his phone in his hand but wasn’t dialing.

Khan sighed.  “Look, you can call the police if you want.  But that will likely end in you being arrested for trespassing.  Because you don’t live here any more.”  Khan didn’t mention that it could also very well result in Evy being arrested for assault.  As absurd as it was, John wasn’t wrong about her actions.  It could also be bad for Khan for the police to learn he was running an unauthorized hotel. “OR, if you leave quietly now, as a courtesy I will box up anything remaining in 201 for you to collect at a later date.  But you’re not getting back in there.  Because you were lawfully evicted for failing to pay your rent.”  Was it 100% lawful actually?  Khan might have jumped the gun on changing the locks after he thought John had moved out.  He really needed John to leave without causing more of a fuss.

John shoved his phone back in pocket with a scowl.  “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer!” John declared as he stomped out down the stairs.

Sure.  Thought Khan as John exited the building.  As soon as he was gone Khan changed the security code on the front door so John couldn’t get back in.