Hyo-bin stared at Seung-ho with a blank face.

"No way. I can't date anyone when I'm barely keeping myself fed," he said. "I need to focus on the national team trials anyway. You should think the same about yourself, actually."

"I don't even care," Seung-ho said.

"What?"

"I don't care. I would've quit the team a long time ago if my mother didn't force me."

"Bullshit. You really think I don't know how much you love swimming?" Hyo-bin said.

Then he threw the carrots into the soup boiling on the stove.

"Give me the spoon and set the table," he said, and reached out to grab the spoon.

Seung-ho held the spoon harder and looked at him.

"Ya, give me the spoon," Hyo-bin said.

"Make me."

"Yeah?" Hyo-bin said and stepped on Seung-ho's foot with all his power.

"Fuck! Do you wanna cripple me, bitch?"

"Go set the table, this is ready in two minutes," Hyo-bin said and laughed.

Seung-ho was thinking about the last time he had lived such a happy day while he rubbed his foot.

—

They stayed quiet during the meal. Seung-ho wanted to make sure Hyo-bin ate enough and felt comfortable, and he did not even answer the sarcastic remarks this time. 

After they opened two beers and continued talking at the table, Seung-ho realized he had not noticed how much Hyo-bin's living conditions had worsened over the years. 

Then he brought the conversation to the only topic he knew.

"Ya," he said. "Why does Soo-bin like you so much?"

Hyo-bin had his hood pulled over his head. He took a few sips from his beer and watched Seung-ho through his black hair falling in front of his face.

"I wish I was under anesthesia right now," he said as he placed the bottle on the table. "So if Soo-bin and I are together, what's it to you?"

"Because I don't like it," Seung-ho said. His face was serious.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that," Hyo-bin said. "Ya, I'm staying. Did you get what you wanted?"

"What do you wanna do?" Seung-ho asked. "We can study again tomorrow since it's Sunday."

"Okay," Hyo-bin said. "I just wanna sit right now."

"Okay," Seung-ho said. 

They tried not to look at each other and peeled the paper labels off their beer bottles under the dim light. 

Hyo-bin stared into space sometimes, and Seung-ho watched him without hiding it. Hyo-bin did not mind the attention. 

Then they talked about swimming for a while, and Seung-ho noticed Hyo-bin's eyes shone like they did in high school. 

Hyo-bin smiled as he explained something. As he spoke, the way he smiled gently, the sharpness of his jawline striking enough to make Seung-ho feel self-conscious, and a few strands of black hair slipping out from under his hoodie and brushing across his face all took Seung-ho back a few years. 

"How many brand deals do you think you're gonna make?" Seung-ho asked.

"What?" Hyo-bin asked.

"When you make the national team, when you transfer... how many brands will you lock down?" 

Hyo-bin chuckled.

"What kind of question is that?" he asked. "How would I know?"

"A face and body like yours will get offers from every brand," Seung-ho said, and his face turned red.

Hyo-bin grabbed his beer and stood up.

"Are you hitting on me right now, Seo Seung-ho?" he asked.

"No, I was just complimenting you," Seung-ho said.

"Right, because you're not gay," Hyo-bin said. Then he grabbed his beer bottle and walked to the couch. He sat on one corner and watched Seung-ho. 

"Do you have to be such an asshole?" Seung-ho asked. Then he stood up from the table quietly and took his spot on the opposite end of the cushions. He looked at Hyo-bin.

"You look like you're gonna give me a hard time tonight," Hyo-bin said.

"I'm glad you noticed."

—

Six or seven beer bottles were scattered across the coffee table. 

The boys lounged on the couch with their legs stretched out, brushing against each other in an easy, familiar way. Both had their hoods up, half-hidden in the dim light. A single lamp cast a warm glow over the room, while soft music played in the background as they talked.

"Did you watch the final race last week?" Seung-ho asked.

"Yeah," Hyo-bin said. "It was bad to watch."

"Yeah, right?" Seung-ho asked.

Then he rested his cold beer bottle on his leg. The wet glass pressed against his skin, and he remembered the swimmer in lane four who almost jumped too early.

"I always think I'm gonna fall in the water and get disqualified," Hyo-bin said.

"Since when?" Seung-ho asked. "You love the blocks. I'm the one who hates racing."

Hyo-bin leaned back against the couch and slouched down. The lighting from behind Seung-ho turned him into a silhouette.

"Scraping the bottom just to survive really messed me up," he said. "My psychology isn't good anymore."

Seung-ho held his bottle hard.

"Are you mad that I beat you?" he asked. He looked down at Hyo-bin's mouth, and he dragged his tongue across his bottom lip.

"No," Hyo-bin said. "But I had to look like it."

"What?" Seung-ho asked. He put his beer down and moved closer to him. "Tell me why."

Hyo-bin grinned.

"It's enough that I know why," he said.

Seung-ho pushed him down onto the cushions and threw a leg over his hips. He pinned him to the couch and dug his fingers directly into his sides. 

Hyo-bin gasped and twisted his body hard under the sudden weight. He grabbed his wrists, fighting to catch his breath as the touch sent a shock through his stomach.

"Get off me, fucker," he said. "I'm gonna pass out."

Seung-ho laughed.

"Tell me why you wanted to look like that right now, or I won't let you go," he said.

"Okay, okay!" Hyo-bin said, and tears fell from his eyes from laughing. "I let you win," he whispered and squinted his eyes.

"You wanted to do the project together," Seung-ho said quietly.

Then he got off him and went back to the corner of the couch.

"You're not mad?" Hyo-bin asked.

"Like I give a damn about swimming," Seung-ho said. "You just wanted us to team up on the project."

"Like we had any other choice," Hyo-bin said. "I hate that you don't try to win. You could win. I wanted you to win." Then he looked at Seung-ho's eyes. "Ya, why were you crying that day?"

"I was upset, obviously," Seung-ho said calmly.

"Are you still taking meds?" Hyo-bin asked quietly, and he looked down at his hands.

"Not for a while," Seung-ho said. "They don't work."

"If you say so," Hyo-bin said.

Seung-ho looked at him. The light caught Hyo-bin's face, making his smooth skin glow. He took a sip of his beer, set the bottle on the table, and sat down next to him.

"Promise me you're not seeing Soo-bin?" he asked, seriously.

"You say his name so much, I'm starting to feel like I actually am," Hyo-bin said, bringing a hand to his face.

Seung-ho grabbed his hand and pulled it away.

"Hyo-bin," he said softly.

Hyo-bin looked at him and swallowed. He had known this moment was coming ever since he lost that race.