Homecoming.

Winter vacation.

Juan confirmed that Theo—along with other cadets—would be returning for a short break. The first time in months he’d be free, unmonitored… and home.A wild surge of hope exploded in my chest. He’d have his phone. He could text me  back anytime now. No more waiting for Sundays. My fingers hovered over my messages, debating whether to send another one… or just wait and see if he finally contacted me first this time.Each day ticked closer to his return. I marked the calendar like a kid waiting for Christmas—counting down until Theo was home.

Every morning, I  checked my phone first thing. Every evening, I refreshed my messages just in case. The anticipation was electric… and exhausting. A small part of me wondered: What if he texts the second he lands? What if it’s hours later? What if… nothing happens at all? But mostly?I was  clinging to that hope.

The 15-day vacation had begun. Theo was home—free from military structure, able to use his phone whenever he wanted. My messages remained unread. No "seen" receipt, no typing bubble… nothing. A bitter realization crept in: He hadn’t replied yet. Not even a single word after all this time. Maybe homecoming didn’t mean reaching out to me… maybe it meant something else entirely. One day, I opened the DM. 

The green light. Online.

My pulse spiked—Theo  was active. Right now. He had his phone, full access… and he hadn’t messaged me despite the fact that my text from weeks ago was still sitting there, unanswered.Three hours passed. The online status vanished—he’d gone offline again… without replying. A dull ache settled in my chest. It wasn’t just about the military restrictions anymore.  This felt personal. Like he chose not to talk to me. The next day, the notification popped up: Seen.

Theo had opened my DM. Read it. And then… left it on read. No reply, no reaction—just cold acknowledgment before silence again. A sharp sting shot through me.It wasn’t like the military blocking him anymore. He was choosing to ignore me now that he could respond freely.

A part of me wondered: Was this his way of saying ‘I don’t want to talk’?

The year ended, but Theo never faded. The new year began—and there he was again, lingering in my thoughts like a ghost I couldn’t shake.

Every resolution I made for 2024,2025… none of them included moving on from him. It was frustrating—how someone who hadn’t even acknowledged me could still occupy so much space in my mind.The truth settled in like a heavy weight: Theo had the chance. He had the time, freedom, and ability to reply… but he never chose to.

If he’d wanted things to work out? If I mattered even a little? He would’ve texted back by now. A single "Hey" or an explanation—that’s all it would’ve taken. He just didn’t want me . Not enough to prioritize reaching out, not enough for it to cross his mind on its own. A quiet wish crept in: Maybe this year would be different. Maybe he’d finally say something… or maybe I would stop caring at all.