Chapter 9: Moonlight Glass

Nos and Cal arrived at Hot Hooves, awed by the store's vastness. Footwear-filled shelves stretched into the distance. The escalators climbed to the second floor, and, in the center, cobblers bent over their workbenches, focused and busy.

"My nephews!" Savvie greeted them as she approached and gave them both tight hugs. Her perfume lingered for a moment, reminding Nos of freesias.

"If we order matching pairs, can they be ready for the Glass Moon Fest?" Cal asked.

"Of course!" she responded. "What did you have in mind?"

"Ankle boots?" Cal asked Nos quietly. Nos nodded. Cal turned to Savvie. "Ankle boots."

"Great choice." Savvie held up a sample of green fabric next to Cal's overalls, then gestured as if tracing crescent shapes in the air. "What do you think of a green like your overalls, with orange and blue crescent moons?"

"Could we use Blue Moon Magnolias instead of blue moons?" Cal asked.

Savvie gasped. "Even better. You have quite the eye for design, Cali."

Catching Cal puffing his chest like a proud pigeon, Nos grinned. Seeing Cal beam and lift his chin at the praise, it was obvious to Nos that his cambion took pride in the arts.

"I'll let you know as soon as they're ready, though I expect it'll be no later than Saturday."

"Thanks so much, Auntie!"

"Oh!" Savvie exclaimed. She strode to a workbench, rifled through a stack of binders, and flipped to the page she wanted.

"Before you go, here are some swaths so you can color match your clothes."

"You're amazing," Cal told her in reverence, carefully cupping the color samples in his hands as if they were made of porcelain.

"And you are the sweetest." She leaned down to give Cal a loud kiss on his cheek, leaving behind an imprint of purple lipstick on his fair skin. "I can't wait to see you both all dressed up at the Fest."

Although Cal walked out dazed, Nos felt only amusement. No trace of jealousy. Their aunt, as astute as she was kind, left him glad to have her support.

"Are you never washing your cheek again? Her lipstick's still there," Nos teased.

Cal's eyes snapped into focus. He rummaged in his pocket, grabbed a napkin, probably from Sven's restaurant, and scrubbed his cheek. A faint mark lingered, but he just flicked his fingers and brushed off the rest.

Nos and Cal left the busy, crowded shoe shop, the sounds of cobblers fading behind them as they stepped onto the bustling street. After weaving through passersby, they soon found themselves in front of another store.

“Why, if it isn’t one of my favorite customers!” A man with a bald head, a trimmed white beard, and golden eyes greeted them.

“Bo! How’s it hanging?” Cal greeted him with a fist bump.

Bo had so many piercings in his ears that Nos couldn't even count them. But what was more startling was the dark makeup around his gold eyes that made them stand out in sharp contrast. Staring at them too long made Nos feel uneasy. However, Cal immediately drew his attention to the racks.

"I hope they have both our sizes," Cal muttered as he gently tugged Nos further inside.

Unlike Savvie's shop, this clothing store offered a more intimate setting. One side displayed single-color shirts and embellished wraps; the other, jogger-style pants. Here, Cal's choice of ankle boots made perfect sense.

"Pants first!" Cal took Nos by the arm and used the color swaths to hunt for pants in similar shades of green. "These are the ones. Hold this," he instructed Nos.

Swatches in hand, Nos watched Cal part hangers and flick through tags. Cal located their sizes, smirked, and handed a pair to Nos.

"Let's try them in the changing room."

"Hold on," Nos prompted. "How do you know my pants size?"

Cal just shoved Nos into the changing room. "Try them on."

A minute later, they strode from the changing room. Cal bounced before the mirror, grinning at the fit.

Their white festival shirts wrapped around their shoulders and tied with a sash at the waist, creating a V-neck. The sleeves were loose and wide past the elbows. Though they both had on the same clothes, Nos firmly felt they looked better on Cal.

After admiring their new look, they changed back into their previous clothes.

"Now all we need is the right wrap!"

Cal skipped to the counter to pay. Nos watched, amused by his cambion's joy. Bo also appeared amused as he rang him up at the counter.

“Be sure to stop by my stall at the fest,” Bo prompted. “You’ll love the new chain belts I had custom made. You can clip them just about anywhere, if you catch my drift.”

"We will,” Cal affirmed before turning back to Nos. “Wearing matching outfits during an event was one of the things on my bucket list. Just wait ‘til the night of the Fest, and you'll see why. Thanks for going along with all this."

"Sounds like it'll be fun."

"It's going to be so much fun," Cal said. "I guarantee it."

His arms laden with their bags, Nos let Cal lead him out of the shop. After a short walk with their shopping bags, they were back on the street of Helderlus, the noise and crowds a familiar background. Although Nos didn't know Helderlus well enough to avoid getting lost, he recognized that they were now heading to City Hall, or as Cal called it, "The Hub."

"...because it's where we go for permits and licenses. But also where we'd file a complaint or apply for any particular law to change." Cal chattered.

"Wouldn't it take more than just one person to change a law?"

"Yes, but anyone can individually suggest a change at first. If enough people view the change as beneficial to all, the law is amended. The last one I remember having a lot of coverage was our accepting individuals seeking refuge from other planes."

"Not to be presumptuous," Nos asked. "Were the Ame-onnas refugees?"

Cal nodded. "Emi and her family knew less about our society than you did two years ago. Now, I think she knows more than even me, and I was born here."

Once inside the building, Cal tugged Nos along, peering around each corner before zigzagging past Wisteria, Zuma’s receptionist. Suppressing laughter, Nos darted behind Cal, ducking low at corners while Cal's tail whipped with excitement, never releasing Nos's hand.

When they reached the hallway of Zuma's office, Cal turned his head from side to side to check if anyone was nearby. Then he rapped a specific rhythmic pattern on the door. Inside, they heard a thud, then the rustling of papers before the office door was finally opened. Nos marveled at the contrast between their liege's massive and imposing figure and his gentle, steady voice.

"Cal."

Zuma laid a gentle hand on Cal's head, ruffling his hair before Cal hugged him tight. The bronze incubus turned and pulled Nos into a firm embrace, holding him for a moment. Then Luc joined, looping his arms around Cal. Zuma topped it off by resting his big hand on Nos's head, a gesture so natural it caught Nos by surprise.

Then, the massive incubus stepped aside to allow Luc to take his turn hugging him.

"What brings you here?" Zuma looked between Cal and Nos.

"I wanted to know what your schedule for the Glass Moon Fest is so we can all meet up after," Cal said, a touch of pride bleeding into his voice. "Nos and I are going to be wearing matching outfits."

"I can help with that," Luc said, leading Cal over to a new desk that already had Luc's name on a plaque. Luc opened a folder and handed Cal a paper. "I have our schedule printed here…"

"Have you succeeded yet?" Zuma's words were barely a whisper as he addressed Nos.

The dhampir was actually relieved that his dad and Cal were too occupied to pay them any heed. Nos's orange eyes tracked Cal, who animatedly recounted their visit to the restaurant and shops for Luc. But Nos gave Zuma a slight shake of the head in response. The Fest landed on day five of his deadline, and he was still unsure how to overcome his inhibitions.

Zuma patted him on the back. "The Glass Moon Festival is as good an opportunity as any."

Nos understood Zuma's point. Cal was excited for their date, and anyone else would have seized the moment. Nos wasn't sure he could.

"Can I have a moment of privacy with Dad?" Nos asked.

"Of course, Son," Zuma said, and Nos realized he needed to get used to being called that. "Cal, did you sneak past Wisteria again?"

Cal visibly winced. "Maybe?"

"Come, let's get you signed in while Luc and Nos have a talk."

Nos caught the sappy look on Luc's face as he watched them leave. That's when Nos realized Zuma's ultimatum was still a secret. He could expose Zuma then and there if he wanted. Luc's unconditional love would force an argument, maybe even get them both kicked out of Helderlus.

However, deep down, Nos wanted to rise to the challenge imposed upon him. He wanted to prove himself to Zuma and Cal. But, more importantly, he wanted to prove it to himself even more desperately.

Why couldn't he and Cal be as happy as Zuma and Luc, or Sven and Savvie? Why did the intimacy Nos so desperately wanted always feel just out of reach?

"Is something wrong?" Luc asked.

"Not really," Nos said, the false words feeling bitter on his tongue. "But, Dad, can you tell me a little about how you felt the first time you were with someone, uh, in bed? Were you nervous? Afraid?"

Luc’s smile was warm. "There are indeed nerves the first time. Our own doubts can get the better of us at the start. That part is as true to incubi as it is to vampires and humans," he admitted. "It's not in our nature, however, to judge a person just beginning to learn. The line of consent must also be clearly stated and drawn. Is Caliber pushing you too far too fast?"

Nos immediately shook his head. "On the contrary, he's been very patient and understanding. It's just…" He trailed off in tense silence.

The dhampir was grateful to Luc for allowing him as much time as he needed to gather himself. So, he tried his best to voice his concerns. "Dad, I want to be with Cal more than anything. He's more appealing to me than he himself believes. But when we get to a certain point, I'm the one who freezes, and I don't know why."

"Can you remember what you were thinking of the last time it happened?"

Fragmented images flickered through Nos's mind: his mother's bloodstained lips, memories or maybe nightmares, he wasn't sure which. "At first, it was just nerves, like you said," he admitted. "Then, Cal accidentally nicked himself on my fang and bled. Nothing bad happened, don't worry. But, I was reminded of Mom and her uncontrolled bloodlust... and I don't want to turn into her."

"You aren't, and will never be, like Andrea. Your awareness alone separates you from her choices. Would Andrea reach out to me like you just did?"

Nos shook his head.

"Would she worry about respecting her partner's boundaries?"

Nos shook his head.

"Nos, hurting the ones we care about is a valid fear. It doesn't make you weak." Luc continued. "It will take time, but you will be able to move past that fear. Continue being honest with Cal about how you feel, and remember that you don't have to navigate this alone. Sven and I are here."

Nos gave Luc a tight hug. "Thanks. I needed to hear that."

Luc carded his fingers through Nos's hair, just as he had when the dhampir was a child. "As for intimacy with Cal, there's no rush. I'm sure he understands."

Nos tensed up at the 'no rush' part, but he refused to let Luc know about Zuma's ultimatum. At least, not yet. He wasn't done trying.

When Zuma and Cal returned, the younger couple said goodbye and headed home. He thought it would take longer to call the house he shared with Cal 'home,' but even with just the two of them, it felt like a haven. His mother's mansion was cold, imposing, and full of bad memories.

They walked into the taupe house (Nos really did plan to paint it blue someday), and he felt wrapped in warmth. After leaving their shoes at the door, Cal gave him a quick kiss, and the feeling deepened. Nos wanted to give Cal the same sense of peace, to share what he felt when he woke up with him in his arms.

Cal pulled Nos into another kiss, a dirtier one, if his sucking on Nos's tongue was anything to go by. Nos let him take the lead at first, then pulled Cal closer and took over. The tight jeans he'd chosen to wear that day were a mistake.

Nos pulled away with a hiss to adjust himself. Before he could say anything, Cal hugged him. The extra heat didn't help dim his arousal.

"I'm glad you feel at home now," Cal said. "Here, with me."

When Nos's orange eyes widened, Cal let out a snort.

"Remember when I said fated matches don't keep secrets?" Cal said. "The stronger our bond gets, the more we feel what the other does. Just now, I felt how much you want to stay here with me."

With a tremor of fear, Nos felt their connection narrow. He hadn't meant to cut it on purpose. It was as sudden as holding one's breath as a beach wave loomed overhead.

Cal didn't scold him. He just grabbed Nos's face and made him look down at him.

"It's okay," Cal soothed. "I'd never use what you feel to hurt you. Not intentionally. Besides, bottling it up would be like trying to hold back a sneeze, burp or fart."

Nos snorted. "Are you trying to tell me I should avoid being emotionally constipated?" he asked, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He noted the instant Cal grasped how his words sounded by the shock in his hazel eyes. Then, he couldn't help but chortle, which prompted Cal to poke him.

"No! But that sounds like a sound idea, too."

With the mood lighter, their connection fully opened. Nos felt Cal's concern and amusement as if they were his own with no hint of malice or ridicule.

"Thank you."

"So jumpy," Cal huffed without any real conviction. "Let's make some lunch. As much as I love having Uncle Sven privileges, I'll end up way too spoiled by his cooking."

"As someone who grew up with his cooking, that's a valid fear."

"Ah, but at least one of your meals came from that fancy vamp uni's cafeteria."

"How're you so sure about that? I've never seen you at the cafeteria."

Guilt and embarrassment flashed through their markings, confusing Nos. What did Cal have to be embarrassed about?

Cal sighed, and the feelings dissipated like a warm puff of air during winter.