This was when the surveillance started. It was light at first, with my dad constantly watching my every move. He wouldn’t let me go out to meet with friends or even go outside for some exercise by myself. At first I believed that it would only be a temporary thing, and he would eventually lighten up after a few more days. I was at least able to be left at home alone.

But that’s what also lead to my downfall.

I was still being reckless and stupid. For some reason, I thought it imperative that I find out how my parents learned my secret. And to get answers, I had to speak to the one person that I actually told my secret to. So I texted her, telling her I really needed to talk.

Out of fear my parents were somehow monitoring my phone, I told her we should meet in person. We planned to meet at a nearby park the next time my parents both left the house. Which as it turned out, was the next day.

After my parents left that day, I waited a few minutes before actually leaving the house. Just in case they forgot something and had to turn around. Then, I ran to the park in order to meet with my so called best friend.

She was already in the park, waiting for me when I got there. A look of guilt was on her face as I approached her "So I guess my mom told your parents…” she said while looking at the ground "I swear I didn't mean to tell my mom! It just kinda slipped out when I was talking to her! I would never purposely tell her in order to hurt you!"

I wasn’t sure whether to believe her or not. Sure, she sounded sorry, but how does my sexuality just accidentally slip out?

"What kind of conversation would you even be having with her that results in you outing me? Like... I came out to you because I really trusted you... then it took you less than a week to blab about it to your mom?”

She grabbed both of my hands and tries to comfort me "Please, you have to believe me! It was just a stupid mistake on my part! I would never try to intentionally hurt you!"

So much was going through my head at that moment. She had done something that should have completely broken all of my trust in her, yet there was still a part of me that wanted to forgive her.

But before I could say anything, I heard a voice speak from behind me that made my heart drop.

"So, you were lying to us after all." the voice was so recognizable that I hadn’t even needed to turn around to see who it was.

Terrified, I turned my head just enough to see the furious face of my father. The anger only intensifying upon seeing our hand.

I opened my mouth to say something, but he didn’t give me the chance “Don't even try to get out of this now! Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in? And who's this? Is this suppose to be your girlfriend or something?"

"No she's just a friend! Nothing is going on..." I’m not able to finish my sentence after he suddenly grabs my arm and starts to pull me to the car.

I look back at my friend, who already began walking away. Not in an urgent sense though. Walking as if what’s happening to me has no affect on her. I knew that the friendship was completely dead after that.

We get to the car and my dad throws me into the back seat. I was so terrified of what he was going to do that I didn't fight back at all.

Turns out, my dad was suspicious of me the whole time. He made a plan for him and my mom to leave the house together so he could tail me whenever I had sneaked out. And due to my stupidity, it went exactly as he planned. If only I had been smart back then, maybe I wouldn’t have been put in this situation.

The drive back to the house was short, but the silence had made it feel like it took forever. If he had been speaking, I could have at least had an idea of what he was going to do with me. But the silence made my mind run wild with different scenarios.

When we got back to the house, my mom was already waiting with running mascara. Never would I have thought something so small would make her cry. The whole thing felt so surreal.

As soon as she saw me, she walked directly to me, slapping my face before I could even say anything. That slap let me know that all the love we once had for each other had died. Our relationship would never again be the same after that day.

While my hand was touching the red mark left on my face, my dad got on the phone to my friends mom. The anger in his voice could have been heard all throughout the house. Suffice it to say, that day was the last time I ever spoke to that friend. Though after her betrayal, whether it be an accident or not, I never wanted to see her again anyways.

Not that I care, but I have no idea what happened to her afterwards. And there was no chance of seeing her after my parents pulled me out of school for the rest of the year. They even enrolled me in a high school that was much further away from our house to ensure we didn’t ever cross paths again.

This is when they began taking me to church, even though we never went before. They chose one with a summer program that advertised to “help me get closer to the lord”. God that was the worst summer of my life. And there wasn’t even any arguing with them, whatever they said was final, and going against them would only make it worse on myself.

After the first few months of trying to fight it, I realized that there was nothing I could do. The only thing that would make my life somewhat livable, would be to go along with the insane things they were making me do. It was hard to do at first, and I hate myself for saying some of the things I did, but it was the only way I could get out of going to that program every summer.

My lying eventually got to the point where I was able to fool my parents into thinking I had changed. Enough so that they never sent me back to any of the churches programs. Only, it hadn’t stopped them from keeping all the restrictions and monitoring in place. Though the longer I played along, I began seeing them let up just a little bit.

Every day since that summer at church, I've just basically lived the same routine everyday. No longer was I talking to other kids at school or trying to make friends, especially with girls. The lonely life that I have built until now has kept me out of any further trouble with my parents.

Which is why talking to that girl at the Japanese booth was such a bad idea.

I’ve been so good with keeping my composure around other girls that I shared class with, but there was something about this girl that was different. I can’t even recall what any of my other classmates looked like, but her face has been etched into my mind.

Her light brown eyes hidden behind large, circular glasses. Long black hair that almost reached her lower back. The brightest smile I had ever seen between her thin, yet plump lips. Even her less than perfect skin looked amazing to me. Such a short encounter, and yet I have every bit of her face memorized already.

All these feelings I’m having make me feel terrified to speak to her again. If I’m feeling like this after one conversation, how will I feel if we ever have a prolonged conversation?

Though, those are things I probably wont have to worry about. I probably wont even see her again anyways. I can’t imagine that she will have any sort of affect on my life going forward.