Death Defy - Motor Ace

Poets are wankers

They’ll smith a metaphor out of the most awkward of ore

Like a driving lesson

Imagine trying to sell a driving lesson as an allegory for a day in the life of a gay teenage boy…

Ok, buckle up

Ignition on

Before you go anywhere, take a breath

Make sure you are as calm and comfortable as can be

Check the mirror

Not just for vanity (though that’s important too)

But also for a reflection on what’s behind you, what’s past

And what may sneak up on you in any given situation

Like a cheeky pinch of trauma that you didn’t realise was there

Thanks lads

Are you in the right gear?

Great

Move off, but only once it’s clear

And get yourself up to pace as quickly and smoothly as you can

Move with the traffic

Stay in your lane

Keep pace

Make sure all of your signals are clear and

Gods forbid you forget to follow all the rules of the road

Always be aware

There are hazards everywhere

That drunk bloke falling out of the pub

That bus full of schoolkids

That elderly woman at the zebra crossing

Any one of them could cross your path

Incite an incident

That leads to harm

Significant injury

Death

Stay

In

Your

Lane

It’s always safest to be predictable

Pre-empt every manoeuvre

Both your own and those of others

Try to avoid doing anything that will ignite rage in others

Especially repressed middle-aged men

They cannot be reasoned with and will react in the most extreme ways

If you make it to the end without incident, well done

You’ve done very well

You should be very proud of yourself

Now, take another deep breath

Change into something comfortable

And chill the fuck out for a while

Not that it’s really relevant, but this is about you so…

I’ve had 6 driving lessons since I first saw you

It’s very hard to concentrate when your brain’s full of boy