Dakota’s dad didn’t say a word through the altercation. When he was done, he closed the door softly after. 

Logan, still shaking, slipped back through the window, scared of making another noise. 

Dakota sat on the bed, head bowed. 

“I…”

There were no words. They all felt wrong or not enough. All the anger and contempt he’d ever felt for Dakota seemed so shallow and misguided. He’d known all along that what he’d done was wrong, but now, it was apparent that Logan was more than just scum on this earth. He was a piece of shit that shouldn’t even exist.

Dakota wrapped his arms around himself. He curled inward, tucking his chin into his chest. He was shaking, subtly at first, and then uncontrollably. The trembles caused a reaction in Logan. His stomach dropped and before he knew it, he was falling to his knees in front of Dakota.

Tears fell down Dakota’s face, but Logan wouldn’t say that he was crying. His face was eerily calm, void of anything that Logan could gauge. 

“I didn’t want you to see me like this,” he said, voice toneless.

Logan felt like someone punched him in the gut. He inched closer, scared that Dakota would either run from him or simply stop existing all together. 

“Can I hold you?”

After a moment, Dakota nodded.

Logan couldn’t remember the last time he’d hugged someone. He knew he never held anyone like this. His arms wrapped around Dakota, lightly at first, and then firmer with the boy leaned into his touch. He pulled Dakota in, letting him press his hot and wet face to his shirt. Logan’s eyes watched the bottom of the door, heart speeding up when he thought about what he’d have to do if Dakota’s dad came back in. 

“Come on. Let’s go.”

Logan carried Dakota on his back when his legs didn’t want to work anymore. The long limbs made it hard to keep balance, but again, Logan’s sheer will to get the boy to the shed won. 

But even sheer will had its limits.

Logan’s knees gave out halfway across the fields. They landed hard on the dry ground, hurting just as bad as his heaving chest. His bones felt like they were made of jelly. His breaths were harsh and beads of sweat stung the corners of his eyes. 

He looked up, and almost philosophically, a windmill stood completely still in front of him. The night was silent and calm. There was not a breeze nor the sound of crickets. 

“Dakota?”

He patted the other boy’s thigh. Dakota roused, turning his head toward Logan’s neck.

“I don’t want to,” he mumbled. His breath tickled Logan’s skin.

“I can’t carry you any further.” The admission of his failure hurt. He wished he could keep going, but he didn’t want to risk dropping Dakota. “It’s okay. No one will find us.”

And even if they did, Logan wasn’t going to let them hurt Dakota. 

The other boy made a meek sound as he slipped off Dakota’s back. He rolled onto the ground into the high grass and lied there.

“Not there,” Logan said. He had to lift Dakota one more time and lead him to a spot closer to the windmill where the grass wasn’t so high. There was a little drive way that had been cleared and laid down with gravel. Further up, in front of a door, was a short staircase and a cement platform. He sat Dakota there.

Dakota grabbed his hand. “Where are you going?”

“To get something to eat. I won’t be long.” 

“I’ll come with.”

“Dakota, no. You’re exhausted. Just keep an eye on your phone, okay?”

Dakota didn’t let go of his hand. Logan had to wrench his hand out of the strong grip. 

He waved goodbye when he was about to disappear back into the trees. Dakota looked back at him with a sad expression.

Logan rushed back with a sack of drinks and snacks. The second he couldn’t see Dakota anymore his anxiety spiked. He’d rushed in the gas station, grabbing random things and prayed that his thirty dollars was enough to cover it all. He’d been meaning to pay Dakota back all this time. This wasn’t how he wanted to do it.

He ran across the field, scared that he’d find Dakota gone or that Dakota’s dad had shown up. His fear was only alleviated when he saw Dakota laying back on the steps. His phone was in his hand, pressed to his chest. 

Logan felt his heart stutter. 

“Boo!”

Dakota jumped. “Asshole.”

Logan swung the bag back and forth, laughing. “Haven’t heard that in awhile.”

Dakota swiped his hand at the bag, missing the first time, and then catching it the second. The handle twisted around Logan’s hand and he couldn’t take it without dragging Logan along. That’s how they found themselves falling together onto the steps. 

“Ow,” Logan said as he landed on his side and elbow. It didn’t actually hurt, not much anyway, but he needed something to fill the awkwardness. 

Dakota opened the back and started pulling out the items. 

“I didn’t know what to get.”

“It’s fine.” 

Logan had known to grab a coke since Dakota always got it. “Guess I gotta learn what you like to eat too.”

Dakota snorted. “You don’t have to go that far.”

Logan shrugged. His hand found its way into the bag right next to Dakota’s as he grabbed the one thing he’d bought for himself. A rice crispy treat. “Like I said before, I want to.”

There was silence in between Logan unwrapping his snack and him biting into it. He noticed that Dakota hadn’t touched anything.

“Why do you do that?”

Logan was mid chew. “Hm?”

Dakota was staring at the coke. His face was scrunched and his bangs were hiding his eyes. “You keep saying all these confusing things and then you show up unannounced. Which by the way, how do you even know where I live?”

Logan started choking. He wasn’t given the chance to answer or defend himself anyway. Dakota just kept on talking.

“I thought you were playing a game or that you were up to something. I’ve been waiting for it to happen, you know? Like one day I’m going to show up to the shed and everything’s been trashed or you’re going to hit me again.”

Dakota wiped at his face. Logan reached out to him when he saw the tears, but Dakota smacked his hand away. 

“And I feel so stupid because I’m starting to think that you mean it. I actually think you’ve changed. Now I can’t even be angry at you. Like I’ve got to forgive you for all the horrible things you’ve done to me.”

Logan shook his head. “No. You don’t have to forgive me. You’re not anymore a bad person if you don’t.”

“Then why are you doing this if you don’t want to be forgiven?!” Dakota’s voice harshened. “I’m…I’m so confused.”

He covered his face with his hands, real sobs coming out of him now. Logan wanted to hold him again. He wanted to be the one Dakota leaned on, but he couldn’t.

Because he was the reason why Dakota was in so much pain.

Logan didn’t want to go home. He didn’t want Dakota to go home. If he had any power, he would have taken Dakota far away from here. But Logan was trapped here. 

He would have given anything to lie under the stars with Dakota the rest of the night. Screw everything else. He wanted to tell Dakota that he would protect him, that he could take him far from here and build a better life for him.

It would have all been lies. He knew what life waited for himself if he left. Sleepless nights on the street. No cellphone, no money. He was almost picked up by weirdos right after he left and on one desperate occasion, he almost got kidnapped. Worse could have happened to him if he hadn’t jumped out of the car.

All those promises never came out of his mouth. They swirled in his head, vultures they were, but he never uttered them. It would have hurt worse if he couldn’t keep them. All the more if Dakota turned them down or, worse yet, laughed at the idea.

He dragged his feet back to the awful house he was forced to call his own. Waiting for him was not a man, but an animal who kept getting out of his cage.

“Where’ve you been?” Gale flicked his cigarette at Logan’s chest. 

Logan didn’t answer him. Tempting a fight. 

“Little shit.”

Logan let himself be shoved into the front door. Kylie was probably dead asleep.

Gale turned him around and smacked his face. “Not talking back this time, are yeah?”

Gale smacked him again, harder. “I’m talking to you.”

Logan’s gaze was empty. “Feel better?”

“Huh?” Gale smelled like alcohol and shit. 

“I asked if you feel better. Because you’re always taking your shit out on me!”

Logan slammed his head into Gale’s, knocking him clear off his feet. Gale tripped over the chair he’d been sitting in before Logan came into the yard. He went flying, hitting the side of the house before dropping to a sudden thud to the floor. His large body slumped on the porch, breathing but out of it.

Logan went inside and tried to sleep.

He couldn’t.

The next day he had the worst headache of his life. His head was pounding from where he struck Gale. A bump had already formed and the spot was extremely bruised. The color was absolutely disgusting. 

Logan tried to obscure the bruise with his hair as much as he could, but even though he had longer than average hair, his bangs weren’t that long. 

“Fuck you. Why’d you have to get a stupid mullet?” He asked his reflection as he shook his fingers through his bangs to try and cover the bruise again. 

Every time he checked in the bathroom between periods he would find that it was exposed again. He’d been successful at hiding it from Dakota so far, but it would take one close look for him to spot it. 

Logan heard the bell ring. He sent his hourly text to Dakota and started toward the classroom. He held his hair down until he was almost near Dakota before he dropped his hand. 

“Hey,” he said, hoping he didn’t sound nervous. “I’m thinking we eat inside today. It’s a little too windy.”

He couldn’t exactly cover up his bruise when nature was trying to expose him.

Dakota didn’t need any convincing. “Sure.”

He grabbed Logan’s notebook and put it in his bag—as he always did. “Cafeteria lunch?”

They’d gotten into the routine of either sharing a plate from the cafeteria or grabbing snacks from the vending machine. Logan pursed his lips as he thought about the “steak” the cafeteria was serving today. 

“Let’s get Cheese Its and a fruit bar. I’ve been craving those little raisin things.”

“Cranberries.”

“Cranberries! Who knew something so gross could taste so good.”

“Logan.”

“Yeah?”

“Why are you hiding your face?”

In the midst of his rambling, he hadn’t realized he’d put his hand over his forehead and he turned slightly away from Dakota. He’d been so obvious at his hiding that he’d drawn attention to the one thing he was trying to hide!

“I’m not,” he denied, flushing more than he already was. “Come on. I’m hungry.”

“Logan.” 

Dakota’s voice meant he wasn’t going to let this go. Of course this had to be the one thing that he latched onto. 

Logan, not wanting this to be anymore than it already was, reached for Dakota’s hand. It didn’t feel any different than when he would grab the boy’s hand when he was leading him somewhere. “It’s nothing. Forget about it.”

Dakota squeezed his hand. “I’m not going to forget about it.”

The two were oblivious to the people that were passing them by. They could have been alone for all they knew. 

“Please,” Logan pleaded. It was the last thing he wanted to do. 

But he couldn’t stop Dakota from reaching with his other hand. As much as he wanted to keep this hidden, he felt powerless to push the other away. When Dakota’s fingers brushed Logan’s hair back, grazing ever so delicately over his skin, he shivered as he tried to lean into the touch. 

Dakota stilled when he saw the bruise and the bump. He took a sharp breath. A scary look flickered over his face.

“Who did this?”

Logan clenched his teeth. He couldn’t say. It wasn’t the right time. He’d seen Dakota get hit last night. He couldn’t just tell him the truth without it seeming like he was trying to be pitied. 

Logan didn’t know how he was going to move past this. He knew that if he didn’t give an answer Dakota wasn’t going to drop it, but if he said it then he didn’t know how Dakota would react. 

Just when he thought he was backed into a corner, someone shoved him from behind.

“Here’s the fags again. Blocking up the whole damn hallway.”

Dakota caught Logan as he fell into his chest. Logan peered up at Dakota who was glaring daggers at Matthew. Logan caught his breath for a second. If he didn’t know it, he’d say Dakota was about to protect him.

His heart warmed at the thought, but knew that it wasn’t true nor was it a good idea. Dakota was too fragile. He didn’t know the first thing about fighting back.

Logan stepped in front of Dakota, blocking Matthew’s path. A culmination of everything that transpired last night had him thinking about making bad choice. Matthew smirked, seeing the challenge in Logan the instant their eyes locked. He couldn’t keep count of how many times he and Matthew fought. Some times it had been real, but most times it had been all a game. 

This time was real. 

Logan ducked and rammed into Matthew at full speed. He slammed the boy into the wall and pinned him there, using his legs as leverage. Matthew hit Logan in the back with his elbow. 

Screams and yells came from all directions. Logan was deaf to it all. He kept seeing Dakota’s sad face in his head, taunting him. Matthew wasn’t the worst offender. He wasn’t even the second or the third. All the people that hurt Dakota the worst couldn’t be touched and it angered Logan so much that he was willing to burn all his friendships. Everything. He would burn the world if it meant keeping Dakota safe.

That was how he found himself on the ground, being punched and kicked. He rolled on top of Matthew and started blindly hitting. His vision was blurring and he didn’t know if it was blood in his eyes or sweat.

But then he was being pulled away from Matthew. He didn’t care about him though. His eyes were searching for the one person that mattered in the crowd that had gathered around them.

He found Dakota at the front of that formed crowd. Dakota had been trying to stop them but he couldn’t and now he was staring at Logan with worry. 

Logan smiled and winked before he was shoved toward the office.