"Taylor," a soft voice pokes in to my dreamlessness. I look up and see Elliot kneeling over me. I see the dark blue of twilight. And I see Marcus crouched down on my other side. My heart sings. 

"You came," is all I can say. 

"We sure did," Elliot replies. "We wouldn't leave you to leave this city all by yourself." His voice is soft like a whisper. Soaring like a little bird. 

"I love you both."

"I love you both as well."

"Me too." 

They help me up and I brush away the bits of rock that dug into my arms and legs. 

"So what now?" I ask. 

"We hope," Marcus replies.

"And we run," Elliot whispers. "This is our chance."

We take to walking beside the Wall. It towers over us, so obscenely large. I never knew how large it was until now. I tell them this. 

"Do you fear it?" Elliot asks.

"I don't," Marcus answers, "It gives me hope. I know there's something on the other side. There must be." His voice is both questioning and sure. 

"We'll get there," I press, "I promise you guys that we'll get there."

"But how?" Elliot questions. Ever the pragmatist. 

"We don't know yet." Marcus responds, tone as questioning as Elliot's.

"We'll figure it out when we figure it out, boys," I declare to them. We walk in silence after that. The city is dark now. Not dark. Glowing with street lights and decorative lights and car lights and private lights and lights from windows and signs. But the sky is darker than it normally is. And nobody is around to see us. 

"It's darker here than it is in the city." Elliot looks around at the empty streets. 

"We're in the city," Marcus reminds him. 

"But it almost doesn't feel like it." 

He's right. Everything is so still and quiet. Abandoned. It feels like we're in a liminal place between the city and something else. But I don't know what.

"I feel like we're leaving something," I speak into the night, "I feel like we're leaving something horrible and suffocating. I just don't know what we're coming to." 

"We should speak softly," Elliot reminds us. 

"But no-one is here," Marcus remarks. 

"But there could be someone on the other side of the buildings," I mention. 

"You're right." Marcus lowers his voice in agreement. 

"I don't know what I want but it's not the city," Marcus whispers.

"I don't know anything," Elliot softly responds. "I don't know anything except for the fact that I don't know anything." 

"I guess we should've payed more attention in school," I joke.

"What can school teach us anyways?" Elliot wonders into the night. 

"Do you think whatever's on the other side of the Wall can teach us?" Marcus's voice is like a soft night breeze. 

"I think it can help us start to teach ourselves." My voice is solemn and hopeful. 

"We don't even know what we're running from, do we?" Marcus is ever the philosopher.

"We know we have to run. And that's enough." Elliot is ever the pragmatist. 

"I think that it's good that we know we don't know anything," I start. "Everyone else thinks they know so much but they are so trapped inside the city. They know nothing but its walls."

"You're right," Marcus responds. 

It's good that Marcus and I are agreeing. We usually do agree. But whenever anyone in our group argues it's usually the two of us. And Elliot acts as a mediator and peace keeper. 

Of course it was different the last time we disagreed. I shudder to think about that. It was the biggest fight we've ever had. Even though it didn't last long. It was also the most emotional. I'm glad the boys understand me now though. I only yearn to be free. 

"The Wall seems so much less powerful now that we're right by it," Elliot mentions. 

"Maybe it wasn't the Wall that kept us in. Maybe it was the city itself." I know what Marcus means. I tell them this. 

We hold hands, drawing strength from each other. Everything seems so much less daunting when we're together. It's a strange sort of strength, being beside someone who understands you. 

In the protection and quiet of darkness, surrounded by my best friends, I feel safer than I ever have. This is ironic, since most people are dead scared of the Wall. But my heart is still. My mind is clear. 

"It feels like I'm walking towards something," my words melt into the night.

"But towards what, we don't know." Elliot smiles. 

"Damn right. But it doesn't matter."

"Do you guys feel as curious as I do?" Marcus asks.

"I do." Elliot's voice has a bit of a bounce to it. 

"I don't think I do right now. I just am relishing in this sense of peace." 

We smile at each other. All of our makeup is faded by now. They look good without makeup. They've always said I look good without makeup as well. 

The Wall looms above us. The light catches the chopped and fading paint in weird ways. In the night, and from this angle, I can't tell what the pictures were supposed to be. I don't envy the artists who had to make them. It must have taken years. Decades even. Of hanging from ropes beside the spectre of their horrors. 

"Did you guys ever fear the Wall?" Elliot asks.

"I never did. Not even as a child." I think back to my youth. "Of course I never told anyone. My parents always warned me against going too near the Wall. I was their only baby after all. I was always drawn to the Wall. It represented something to me, but I never knew what. I guess it represented everything I could never have." 

"My parents warned me against the Wall too, when I was younger." Marcus's voice carries mirthful rebellion. "They have a horror story. When I was four I got lost through the winding streets. They searched for me everywhere. They even got the police involved. But they couldn't find me anywhere. Finally a police officer found me at the base of the Wall. My parents were so beyond scared. They grounded me for a month after that." 

"Wow." I wonder about little Marcus, a runaway, going wherever his feet pulled him. 

"I wish I had your courage," Elliot speaks, "You inspire me. I was never drawn to the Wall as a child. I heard stories of how it protected us from all the stuff outside. How there were unspeakable horrors outside the Wall that we must never go near. How we were safe in the city and we had all we needed inside of it. Of course I questioned the stories. But I was too young to question them seriously. And I had heard them so many times that they stayed stuck in my head. So I feared the Wall. Because I was supposed to. But when I was twelve I started questioning it. What did the Wall protect us from? What was out there? Why were we never allowed to know?"

"You guys question things," I compliment, "you question things as much as you can in this suppressive world. That's why I like you. That's why I'm drawn to you." 

"And you're strong in your convictions," Marcus tells me, "that's why I draw strength from you. And Elliot you're so kind to us. You're the file that keeps everything together."

"You guys are too nice," Elliot's voice holds the hints of a shy smile, "I love you. Taylor you're so passionate and Marcus you're so brave. You both inspire me." 

"What would I do both out my boys?"

"What would we do without each other?" Marcus gives my hand a squeeze. 

We walk on in quiet, companionable silence for a while. Around us different buildings drift by. They don't have any signs on them. Even the ones that aren't boarded up. They make sure not to face the Wall. Not with their doors and not with their windows. It's a jackpot for us. 

I think of how I'm not surrounded by anything but my boys. There are no colours here. No pictures. No tastes and smells. No entertaining, enthralling, empty movies and plays and songs. There is just me, Elliot, and Marcus. There is just us in a way that there's never been just us before. Always there was the press of the world around us. Always there was the knowledge that our time together would end soon. Always there was the knowledge that we could be found out at any moment. But now there is none of that. 

Now there is only a promise of a future in front of us. 

Elliot and Marcus are so beautiful when stripped of the glitter and the glamour of the city. They are so simple and infinite and searching and dissatisfied and contented. I know that there is so much about them that I do not know. I know that there is so much about myself that I do not know. I know that most things about myself I do not know. Most things about the world. 

Hopefully I'm on my way to finding out. 

I don't think I would be content with not knowing. 

But there's a contentment that comes with discontent too. There's a sense of rebellion, a sense of hope that comes with not accepting things the way they are. Not if those things aren't acceptable. Not if those ways are ultimately hollow. Discontent can drive you to finding the truth. Finding the realness that's behind all this false beauty. Discontent can save you. 

"Do you think we're supposed to be more scared than we are?" 

"What do you mean, Elliot?" Marcus questions. 

"I mean, what if we get caught? Shouldn't we make up some sort of alibi?" 

"I don't think we'll get caught," Marcus replies. I agree with him. I don't think we'll get caught. Not all the way out here. Not after all of this. 

"But still. What if we do?" 

"He's right," I say, "it's better safe than sorry. The more prepared we are, the more successful our mission will be." 

"What should we say, if we do get caught?" Elliot's voice is thoughtful as it echoes through my head. 

"We can just say that we are on a walk and wanted to explore a part of the city we've never been to before." Marcus's words are solemn and serious. 

"But they'll see through that," I voice, "there's nothing in this part of the city to see." 

"We could say we're finding a good place to tell ghost stories. Nice and dark." Elliot looks at us with his beautiful dark eyes. 

"But there are already haunted house courtyards that are perfect for that," Marcus reminds him. The soft light of this darkness catches his wide cheekbones. 

"What if we say we got dared to come here?" I offer. 

"That could work," Elliot says. 

"But who would ever dare such a thing. And so late at night?" Marcus is right. 

"We could say we're looking for a place to hide something," Elliot suggests. 

"But what would we hide? We have nothing with us. Wouldn't it make more sense to bring the thing we're hiding?" The boys nod in agreement. 

"What if we say there's a story going around that the Wall is haunted?" Marcus suggests, "and we could say that we got dared to walk the entire length of the Wall at night? And if we do it we'll get money?" 

"That's perfect!" I exclaim. 

"Yes," agrees Elliot, "that's something normal teenagers want. Money. If we say we're doing it for money then they'd think that we're just normal teenagers, albeit on the braver side." 

"Do you guys agree on the alibi?" I ask. They voice their agreement. 

"Good," Elliot says. "Now we're ready." 

I hum a little melody I made up. Low and soft and clunky and unprofessional. But it's soothing nonetheless. 

"Do you guys already feel more free than before?" Marcus asks. 

Elliot hums in agreement and I nod my head.

"I feel like we're never going home. Like we're going to be lost in this darkness together forever." 

"That's very poetic," I tell Marcus.

"I wouldn't mind being lost in this darkness with you guys forever," Elliot tells us, "It's more free than I've ever felt before." 

"But the sun will come up," I remind them, "this darkness won't last forever. With the start of a new day the city will awaken again and we'll be lost in it's clutches. We haven't escaped yet." 

"You're right," Marcus nods in approval, "we haven't escaped the city until we've escaped the city. This is just a temporary respite."

"I bet escaping the city permanently is going to feel even better than this respite," Elliot wonders. 

"You're right." I smile at him, steeling my heart forwards. 

We fall into silence again, as thoughts are allowed to wander free through our minds.

We must look like an odd trio, wandering through the dark. 

"I hope the sun never comes up again," I state. 

"The city is shadowed by the darkness," Marcus agrees. 

"There's just us here," Elliot states. 

"Imagine if the world was just us. I don't think I'd get lonely. Do you?"

"I would," Marcus responds piningly, "At first maybe I wouldn't but after a bit I definitely would."

"I have to agree with Marcus," Elliot says, "Everyone else doesn't understand us. They can't ... they can't get to us. But I do still want other people anyways. It gets really lonely, just the three of us. I just wish there were more people like us."

"Actually, that's exactly how I feel," I agree, "I get lonely with only you guys to talk honestly with. Only you guys to be myself around."

"I don't even know who myself is," Marcus declares, "but you guys are the only ones I can speak freely around."

"But it's not like we can convince the other people." I sigh. 

"You never know. Maybe we can." Elliot is ever the optimist. 

"No. They're too far gone. Maybe not all of them. But most of them."

"I have to agree with Taylor. Most of them are too far gone."

We keep talking, and walking, and telling small jokes and solemn truths. I think we'll end up having to skip school tomorrow. It's okay. I will endure the lectures I get from my parents. I'll even endure my grounding if it comes down to it. Though one day of skipped schools isn't enough grounds to ground anyone over. 

"Do you have an alibi for your parents?" I ask. 

"I'll just say I was out with my friends," Elliot replies. 

"Same. Or maybe I'll say I had a secret date with my girlfriend. That wouldn't even be a lie." We laugh. 

Eventually the sky gets just a bit lighter. The dark blue prelude to dawn. But eventually we find the perfect place. 

Blocks upon blocks are boarded up as far as we can see from the intersections. There are no people there. No signs. No lights even. Even the street lights are tuned off in this part of the city, for block after block after block. It's completely abandoned. A sight that's rare for the bustling city trying to take up as much space as possible in its limited range. 

"What happened here?" Elliot's voice is wary and hopeful. He echoes the hope and the curiosity I feel in my heart. 

"I don't know," Marcus replies, staring out into the abandoned streets. They glow a soft blue in the almost-morning light. 

We stand there staring for a while. Thinking. Wondering. 

"Oh I know!" Elliot suddenly exclaims. We turn to him for an explanation. "My father told me this story. Once upon a time there was a group of people, maybe just like us. They tried to break the Wall. They might have even succeeded. They weakened its foundation somewhere. But they were caught and the Wall was cemented over. But the people near that part of the Wall were still afraid that it was not as strong as it used to be. So they abandoned their shops and houses."

"I think I heard that story too, when I was young," I exclaim. 

"Do you want to continue the legacy of those people?" Marcus asks. And oh boy we sure do.