“What’s wrong, Mawce?”

I shrugged my shoulders and turned back to my notes. Angel was persistent. He ended up throwing several wads of paper at me before I finally told him. “I’m being kicked out.”

His face crumpled for a split second, then lit up. “Just stay with me!” Oh no, that was a bad idea. Staying in the same house as the guy I had a crush on who didn’t know I was gay? Shitshow, at best. “I’m a foster kid, so I’m sure Lana and Claire would be okay with it! We have two empty rooms right now anyways, and it’d at least be a temporary solution, even if you hated it.”

Foster? I hadn’t known Angel was in the system. I guess I didn’t know a lot of things. Like I said, not smart, just surrounded by stupid. I took a deep breath before agreeing, and I had already made up my mind that I was going to be happy about this. I had a roof over my head now. After school, Angel caught up to me, and we walked to his house together. I really didn’t want to stay another minute in my mother’s house, and I didn’t have all that many things anyways. We walked quietly through the falling snow, cold noses turning red, and coats zipped to our chins.

“Welcome in, Mawce! I’m Lana, and this is my wife, Claire. We’re very happy to have you despite the circumstances.” Lana gestured toward a short, plump woman, who was smiling politely and holding a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies. I nearly started floating off the ground, they smelled so good. Lana continued to introduce me to the setting, and was very warm the whole time. Angel stood behind me as if determined to be a comforting presence. 

Angel showed me my room, and turned to leave, but I grabbed him by the wrist before he could. I hung my head to hide my shame, and said, “Stay?” Angel smiled, and pulled me into a hug. “Of course,” he whispered. It sent the butterflies in my stomach into panic mode, but I held onto his tall frame anyways, burying my head into his warm shoulder. We stood like that for a long time, just wrapped in the comfort of each other. “Ich glaube, ich liebe dich.”

I pulled back. “What does that mean?” 

“I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

We stayed in my room until Claire told us it was time for dinner, talking and studying, and joking that we’d die if we had to write one more sentence. “You know that’s not how you spell ‘exactly’, right?” Angel hit me over the head with his notebook. “I” whack “don’t” whack “care!” whack. I laughed so hard my sides hurt, and we went to the dinner table.

I was introduced to the other two foster kids: Ellis, a moody seventh grader with an attitude, and Lisa, a two-year old who decided she liked me right away. Lisa sat in my lap as we ate dinner, while Ellis pestered me with questions.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Forest Green.”

“Dogs or cats?”

“Oh, cats, definitely.” Ellis fake-gagged and I laughed.

“Favorite book?”

“The Iliad.”

“Why’d you get kicked out?”

“Oh.. I um… I-”

“You don’t have to answer, Mawce,” Lana made a kind face.

“No- I- it’s okay. I’m gay.”

Lana smiled and gave me a hug, Claire told me she was proud of me, and Angel smiled softly. Maybe I could find a home with these people, if only until graduation. The rest of the night, I taught everyone how to play Scum and Spades, and we played until Lisa had to go to bed. “Bye-bye, Mawce! Happy sleeps.” 

“Aw, thanks Lisa. You too.”

Lana and Claire went to bed, along with Ellis, and soon it was just me and Angel. I hoped he wasn’t scared away by me, especially because I got kicked out, and living on the street did not sound fun. I stayed calm though, and took several deep breaths. 

“You aren’t… disgusted?”

“How could I be? Love is love, whatever form it comes in. Boys kiss boys, and it is beautiful.”

I had never heard someone say that the way I loved was beautiful. I blushed a faint shade of pink, and tucked my head into my chest, hoping to hide from Angel’s too-kind words. We talked some more that night, but soon it was time to go to bed. We both had several tests the next day, and I was not looking forward to them. 

I never considered being gay to be love. To me, for all of my life,  being gay had been a stain, and my mother made sure I knew that. I relished in the warmth of Angel’s reassurance. Sometimes I could be pretty self-depricating, but I loved that every time I was, Angel turned my emotions into something worthy of love. It was magic, what he did, and I believed in it with my whole heart.

I kind of hated sappiness, and the same certainly went for rom-coms, but I was turning into the very thing I hated before my own eyes. Blech. Romance movies were always so unrealistic. Of course they just happen to run into each other, and have a perfect meet cute, and then they both like each other (obviously, they’re Straight ™). Real life wasn’t like that, although I understood the people who watched those movies because they wish it was.