It was still early in the day, but Angel and I decided we wouldn’t go back to school that day. I didn’t want to see Nathan, and Angel was avoiding a test in Chemistry anyways. He very conveniently ‘forgot’ to study. We sat in my room, watching try not to laugh youtube videos, and he taught me how to play Minecraft. I’m definitely not good at it though. 

At one point, I started humming one of my favorite songs. “Your voice is so pretty!”

“Oh! I- uh- thanks!” I stuttered through the words, trying not to blush. I failed. 

When noon came, we were both starving, so we investigated what the fridge had to offer. We found ingredients for burritos and decided to make some. The stove still smelled burnt from the morning, but it was better once Angel put the meat in the pan. I sliced tomatoes and made beans while he made the meat and rice. Soon, we were all done, and we ate lunch. 

I was about to take a bite, but I felt Angel’s hands on my hips from behind me. I blushed furiously and tried to turn around. 

“What are you doing?”

“Something I hope I don’t regret.” What does that mea- I was quickly spun around, and Angel pressed his lips to mine. He was soft in all the right places, and I traced my hands over the patterns of freckles on his skin. God, I had wanted this so bad. I wanted to kiss like this for hours, to curl my hands into his hair, to hold his face in my hands. Angel deepened the kiss, and I tilted my head up to meet him. His smell enveloped me, swirling in the air as if it were a drop of ink in water. My back pressed against the kitchen counter aggressively, but all I could feel was his hands at my waist, his mouth on mine: all I wanted to feel was Angel. 

I may have moaned a tiny bit, and Angel pulled away. His cheeks turned red immediately, and he ducked his head in shame. I don’t know why. Hadn’t he said that boys loving boys was beautiful? Was I beautiful? Could I ever be? He took his plate and stepped out of the kitchen. 

“Come on, Mawce.” Was it just me or was he cold? 

I wanted to ask if I’d done something wrong, but I followed Angel instead. We went back into my room, and ate in silence. I wanted to cry. What had I done? This feeling was why I had my plan. Keep Out Of It. I didn’t want to get hurt over and over again simply because I was foolish. I shouldn’t have gotten attached. Now he’ll probably throw me out, and I’ll have nowhere to go. 

Say something, Angel. He didn’t. After we finished eating, he disappeared, and I didn’t see him afterwards. I sank my head to my chest, and let the feeling wash over me. Maybe I deserved this. Then again, maybe Angel was just stupid. That was always an option, but I didn’t want to think that. Why did he kiss me? Why did we have to go and ruin this?

A second after I started to spiral, a note slipped under my door. Unfolding it, I recognised Angel’s messy script, and decided that this was better than nothing.

Mawce,

I was being stupid. I know you had an awful morning, and I blatantly ignored that. I don’t even know if you like me like that. I’m sorry I kissed you. I shouldn’t have, and I feel really ashamed. Let me know if I can make it up to you. 

Angel

Kiss me again. That’s what you can do to fix it.